When it comes to competition; whether it’s the NBA finals, sibling rivalry, competitive friends, coworkers, your kid in little league or cheerleading competition, someone has to win and someone has to lose.
In considering the difference between having a competitive nature and being jealous, a coworker put it best, “being competitive is about stepping your game up in order to win or at least achieve your personal best; whereas, jealousy is coveting what another person has, maybe even having bad thoughts of wanting them to fail.
Many of us have either been jealous of someone or have had people jealous of us. I’m reminded of a so-called friend who always seemed to have drama going on in her life. On a daily basis, she would suck my energy up with her latest catastrophe and I would try to find ways to support her.
During a Labor Day trip one year, I paid for her to go to Miami for our girl’s get-a-way. While there, it seemed like everything I said or did, she tried to copy or out-do me. Some may consider that a compliment but, it was a pattern that became particularly obvious and irritating during this trip. It got so bad that we almost came to blows.
Of course I was mad, but even more, I was hurt. I had gone out of my way to do something nice for her and this was how she repaid me. That’s when I figured out, “Jealousy cannot be your friend.” Jealousy is envy and resentment, so no matter how much a person may want to be your friend and be happy for you; the envy in their heart won’t allow it.
When a person is jealous of you, they are dangerous. And, while you may want to shrug it off – don’t. Just know who you’re dealing with and understand that unless they acknowledge their short-comings and actively work through it via prayer, therapy or some other form of person growth, they can never truly be your friend.
Q: Is anybody competing with you at work, how?
Deya Smith is an actress, motivational speaker & producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show.
She can be reached at Deyadirect.com; or firstname.lastname@example.org.
Consider any of the following questions. I’d love to get your take on this topic of the day.
Q: Do you have friends who are always trying to copy or out-do you?
Q: When is being competitive no longer healthy?
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (6/18-6/24)
25 photos Launch gallery
1. Me & the homie @jaleelwhite #RujohnFoundation Happy to be in Jamaica! Good times
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5. Good Morning. Early day in Detroit! Making press rounds for @thebossnetwork's Ladies That Lead Tour. Thank you @traycemadre and @colourbynumbr for my glam.
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6. POWER the best show on TV @djenvy, Queens we so big out here. #EFFENVODKA #FRIGO
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7. They said u lost a step, wasn't explosive as once was, the best days was in the real view, questioned your drive, your leadership, your commitment, you don't have killer instinct, going back home is the worst mistake in your career, he got the coach fired, players traded, won't work between him and Kyrie, Him and Kev won't work, love your teammates to much, there's no way he can deliver a championship in his hometown, etc etc etc.... But guess what THATS NONE OF MY BUSINESS #StriveForGreatness #ThisOneIsForTheLand #PutSomeRespeckOnMyName Hahahaha!!! Yes sir
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8. Oooooh weeee this man right here is responsible for at least three of our four babies!! #JOE ❤❤❤🎤 #rnb #king #voicelikebutter #ForPeetesSake
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9. Hanging with my @abcnetwork family! @abcunclebuck tonite y'all check us out ! @anthonyanderson @traceeellisross
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10. My broski ( @sayeedshahidi ) and I are on Top 5 Live on @go90 at 5 (which is super duper close)! Make sure to tune in :) #UncleBuck #Blackish
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11. Lights out💤 #GoodNight
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12. Late nights mornings
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13. Ran into the lovely talented @siedahgarrett on this brutiful favvuz deh!
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14. #halal #love #thedargans #kattwilliamsSHOW #mashallah when that Jennah piece HIT!! @sweetjennahcollection glasses by @baddieglamaccessories LIZ 😍 @dynamiteko top @dazzledmv and jeans @thevision414 and shoes: @louboutinworld
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15. Big Hair and Optical Illusions #OceanDrive #MiamiLiving #coverparty
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16. MAMA and THE SAVAGES ... ⚓️ #supportyourlocalgirlgang
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17. From the bottom of my ❤️, thank you new followers & old! & hello fellow night owls! #grateful #racheltrue #naturalhair #curlyhair #curlygirl #healthyhair
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18. I feel so grateful because I met these amazing young minds, visiting from Houston TX, during their college tour stop today at #usc.These students are ALL extraordinary and embody academic excellence so I'm humbled to have shared a few moments with them to applaud and celebrate their bright futures ahead! Thank you @EmergeFellows for inviting me to speak and blessing me with your love and attention this afternoon!
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19. Happy Fathers Day Pops. U taught me how to be a man. Lessons of love, hard work & gratefulness. Sorry the fishing didn't stick. LOL. I Love U!
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20. Sky Zone and Ice Cream! Best Fathers Day Ever!! Photo credit @mariahcarey
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21. Look what finally came in the mail 😎 #mtvmovieawards2016 💥+🌽! #straightouttacompton
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22. Claudia Jordan: ....
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23. 'Member that time I almost knocked a bajillion dollar camera off the car? Really? Yeah, me neither! #Greenleaf Episode 2 comin atcha!
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24. Full of love. #birthday #Cabo
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25. Oh hey! Look who just joined Snapchat
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