When it comes to competition; whether it’s the NBA finals, sibling rivalry, competitive friends, coworkers, your kid in little league or cheerleading competition, someone has to win and someone has to lose.
In considering the difference between having a competitive nature and being jealous, a coworker put it best, “being competitive is about stepping your game up in order to win or at least achieve your personal best; whereas, jealousy is coveting what another person has, maybe even having bad thoughts of wanting them to fail.
Many of us have either been jealous of someone or have had people jealous of us. I’m reminded of a so-called friend who always seemed to have drama going on in her life. On a daily basis, she would suck my energy up with her latest catastrophe and I would try to find ways to support her.
During a Labor Day trip one year, I paid for her to go to Miami for our girl’s get-a-way. While there, it seemed like everything I said or did, she tried to copy or out-do me. Some may consider that a compliment but, it was a pattern that became particularly obvious and irritating during this trip. It got so bad that we almost came to blows.
Of course I was mad, but even more, I was hurt. I had gone out of my way to do something nice for her and this was how she repaid me. That’s when I figured out, “Jealousy cannot be your friend.” Jealousy is envy and resentment, so no matter how much a person may want to be your friend and be happy for you; the envy in their heart won’t allow it.
When a person is jealous of you, they are dangerous. And, while you may want to shrug it off – don’t. Just know who you’re dealing with and understand that unless they acknowledge their short-comings and actively work through it via prayer, therapy or some other form of person growth, they can never truly be your friend.
Q: Is anybody competing with you at work, how?
Deya Smith is an actress, motivational speaker & producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show.
She can be reached at Deyadirect.com; or email@example.com.
Consider any of the following questions. I’d love to get your take on this topic of the day.
Q: Do you have friends who are always trying to copy or out-do you?
Q: When is being competitive no longer healthy?
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/15-10/21)
31 photos Launch gallery
1. Just a NY girl with BIG dreams....
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2. HAPPY CHILDREN=QUALITY PARENTING. We don't always see eye to eye on everything and that's normal. We're human beings. But we come together and do it right for what's important, the kids. We are not enemies, we are parents. And we are parents 1st. S/O to @monyettashaw for making Mason's bday memorable. S/O to @itscrystalsmith at home taking care of our other lil' Prince. ❤️❤️❤️ THIS IS WHAT CO-PARENTING LOOKS LIKE. #Blessed #Happy #AboveTheDrama #BiggerThanUs
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3. So happy to finally be able to share with you all that I’m the new Global Brand Ambassador for @Revlon! Follow my day on RevlonSnaps. Yay! Choose Love, Everybody! #RevlonXCiara #chooselove #ad
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4. Glam on point!!!@makeupbymotoko & @shaylinjoneshair #easybreezy @lifetimetv #beachesmovie #january2017 😘
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5. ✨True love ✨📸: @jessiemarrerophotography
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7. Today was not easy..but by the grace of God we all got through it. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of your Prayers, Positive thoughts and Support for us throughout the years. Tommy will be missed but most certainly never forgotten...And PLEASE don't ask "Where's Martin?.." he was there too...just not in this picture. Lol! God bless you all.. #LoveConquersAll #MartinShow
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9. West coast get ready for #RockyHorror. I will be live tweeting again. #letsdothetimewarpagain
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10. #THEKEYS pre order yours now ... Available everywhere #NOV22 #WeTheBest 🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
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11. We about to ROCK at #KCABlackBall!! All for our life-changing effort to end 🌎 AIDS.
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12. Today's #SNAPJACK is brought to you by @yazzthegreatest 😂😂😂💋💋💋
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13. Damn girl you kinda old to be headed to the Go Go. You coming in at the age they leaving. LMAO
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14. Daddy daycare B-Boxin with @acewellstucker @shopraisingace
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15. #FBF Naviyd & URV "LIL MONSTERS"
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16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST LEGENDS IN OUR HIPHOP HISTORY! @snoopdogg CONTINUED BLESSING AND LOVE FAMILY!!!!! REAL OG!
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17. Thank you for a beautiful night VSU! Let's do it again! #HOMECOMING
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18. Had a great time this morning with my familia Erica, Griff & Truth!!
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19. Check out my interview on @essence facebook live. #inmyownwords #nycpromo #day2
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20. #She💋 #tbt #TheCoveAtTheAtlantis #DawgPawsAndAll
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21. Bae #retailtherapy
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22. Why me and @coryhardrict got the same pose... and notee... new mouth #naked
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23. When my husband is my personal 'hype-man'! it kills me every time! 💜😂 #WHATNOW #lostfiles📷
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24. Diggy Simmons
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25. Hand full of @jacquieaiche 💙💎💍 @esnail_la 💅🏾
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26. SuperSoulers! You can watch my interview with Carl Lentz live from my Facebook page, tomorrow at 11a ET| 8a PT. #SuperSoulSunday
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27. 💋 .. When the friendship is easy like Sunday morning. ☀️
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28. Sunday mornings are the best........... hugs and cuddles with my angel
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29. #huggar16 #hellohuggars
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30. My gym is everywhere!.. #RnBMoney #TheGeneral 📸: @twelvepastseven
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31. Nothing I would rather be doing... Rocko setting up our movie, Romelō working on a puzzle & Laiyah singing and sharing all she's learning at school... I'm so grateful for the joy they've brought into my life ... Praying for peace , joy & love in the home of EVERY family ♥️ #HeadScarfPJSunday LOL 😂
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