Are you one of those people who constantly say things like, “that’s just the way I am, and I can’t help it?” Maybe not, But I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase or something similar from folks before.
Particularly in a day and age where self-acceptance is highly promoted, statements like the above seem perfectly normal and justifiable. I am a huge supporter of being true to self, At the same time, I believe sometimes people use phrases like, “that’s just the way I am,” as an excuse not to change or grow in life.
What leads me to this topic is recently, my girlfriend and I had a very interesting conversation. On the day of our conversation I was in a bit of a funk and was in the mood to express just that. As we talked, she suggested that perhaps I was not staying true to my own advice about surrendering to what God/life was offering me; since I was expressing my frustration. I took a sincere moment to consider her evaluation. I did not want to make excuses for my behavior; but here’s what I determined.
The truth of my reality is that I was indeed in a funk. Occasionally, I’m spoiled, impatient and sometimes ungrateful -but that’s another Deya Direct! And, for the first time in a long time, I acknowledged that truth. I accept me for who I am. However, the difference is I don’t settle for that. Recognizing innate flaws about one’s self should not indicate it’s the best we can do. In fact, the greatest response to self-truth is the ability to grow and improve. In other words, you can’t change what you don’t admit.
As I continued the conversation with my girlfriend, I shared that my ability to be vulnerable in front of her about my feelings was a sign of growth. In times past, I would just pretend that all was well. Instead, what I was doing was still surrendering. Surrendering to pretense, and surrendering to the fact that I still need to grow in certain areas.
That is the beauty of life; it always has a way to show you that you’re a work in progress. It is fine to surrender to that also. Accept all of who you are, but let’s not settle for anything less than our best. “That’s just the way I am” today, should not be all we are tomorrow. Grow Up.
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Deya Smith is an emerging multi-media personality. A former Miss Black USA, this writer, actress, producer, and motivational speaker has been intriguing the airwaves with her provocative CommentRary Deya Direct! She calls it CommentRary because it’s contrary to the status quo, it’s social, political, personal, poetic, riveting and done from a black women’s perspective.
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (6/18-6/24)
25 photos Launch gallery
1. Me & the homie @jaleelwhite #RujohnFoundation Happy to be in Jamaica! Good times
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5. Good Morning. Early day in Detroit! Making press rounds for @thebossnetwork's Ladies That Lead Tour. Thank you @traycemadre and @colourbynumbr for my glam.
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6. POWER the best show on TV @djenvy, Queens we so big out here. #EFFENVODKA #FRIGO
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7. They said u lost a step, wasn't explosive as once was, the best days was in the real view, questioned your drive, your leadership, your commitment, you don't have killer instinct, going back home is the worst mistake in your career, he got the coach fired, players traded, won't work between him and Kyrie, Him and Kev won't work, love your teammates to much, there's no way he can deliver a championship in his hometown, etc etc etc.... But guess what THATS NONE OF MY BUSINESS #StriveForGreatness #ThisOneIsForTheLand #PutSomeRespeckOnMyName Hahahaha!!! Yes sir
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8. Oooooh weeee this man right here is responsible for at least three of our four babies!! #JOE ❤❤❤🎤 #rnb #king #voicelikebutter #ForPeetesSake
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9. Hanging with my @abcnetwork family! @abcunclebuck tonite y'all check us out ! @anthonyanderson @traceeellisross
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10. My broski ( @sayeedshahidi ) and I are on Top 5 Live on @go90 at 5 (which is super duper close)! Make sure to tune in :) #UncleBuck #Blackish
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11. Lights out💤 #GoodNight
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12. Late nights mornings
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13. Ran into the lovely talented @siedahgarrett on this brutiful favvuz deh!
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14. #halal #love #thedargans #kattwilliamsSHOW #mashallah when that Jennah piece HIT!! @sweetjennahcollection glasses by @baddieglamaccessories LIZ 😍 @dynamiteko top @dazzledmv and jeans @thevision414 and shoes: @louboutinworld
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15. Big Hair and Optical Illusions #OceanDrive #MiamiLiving #coverparty
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16. MAMA and THE SAVAGES ... ⚓️ #supportyourlocalgirlgang
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17. From the bottom of my ❤️, thank you new followers & old! & hello fellow night owls! #grateful #racheltrue #naturalhair #curlyhair #curlygirl #healthyhair
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18. I feel so grateful because I met these amazing young minds, visiting from Houston TX, during their college tour stop today at #usc.These students are ALL extraordinary and embody academic excellence so I'm humbled to have shared a few moments with them to applaud and celebrate their bright futures ahead! Thank you @EmergeFellows for inviting me to speak and blessing me with your love and attention this afternoon!
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19. Happy Fathers Day Pops. U taught me how to be a man. Lessons of love, hard work & gratefulness. Sorry the fishing didn't stick. LOL. I Love U!
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20. Sky Zone and Ice Cream! Best Fathers Day Ever!! Photo credit @mariahcarey
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21. Look what finally came in the mail 😎 #mtvmovieawards2016 💥+🌽! #straightouttacompton
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22. Claudia Jordan: ....
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23. 'Member that time I almost knocked a bajillion dollar camera off the car? Really? Yeah, me neither! #Greenleaf Episode 2 comin atcha!
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24. Full of love. #birthday #Cabo
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25. Oh hey! Look who just joined Snapchat
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