Are you one of those people who constantly say things like, “that’s just the way I am, and I can’t help it?” Maybe not, But I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase or something similar from folks before.
Particularly in a day and age where self-acceptance is highly promoted, statements like the above seem perfectly normal and justifiable. I am a huge supporter of being true to self, At the same time, I believe sometimes people use phrases like, “that’s just the way I am,” as an excuse not to change or grow in life.
What leads me to this topic is recently, my girlfriend and I had a very interesting conversation. On the day of our conversation I was in a bit of a funk and was in the mood to express just that. As we talked, she suggested that perhaps I was not staying true to my own advice about surrendering to what God/life was offering me; since I was expressing my frustration. I took a sincere moment to consider her evaluation. I did not want to make excuses for my behavior; but here’s what I determined.
The truth of my reality is that I was indeed in a funk. Occasionally, I’m spoiled, impatient and sometimes ungrateful -but that’s another Deya Direct! And, for the first time in a long time, I acknowledged that truth. I accept me for who I am. However, the difference is I don’t settle for that. Recognizing innate flaws about one’s self should not indicate it’s the best we can do. In fact, the greatest response to self-truth is the ability to grow and improve. In other words, you can’t change what you don’t admit.
As I continued the conversation with my girlfriend, I shared that my ability to be vulnerable in front of her about my feelings was a sign of growth. In times past, I would just pretend that all was well. Instead, what I was doing was still surrendering. Surrendering to pretense, and surrendering to the fact that I still need to grow in certain areas.
That is the beauty of life; it always has a way to show you that you’re a work in progress. It is fine to surrender to that also. Accept all of who you are, but let’s not settle for anything less than our best. “That’s just the way I am” today, should not be all we are tomorrow. Grow Up.
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Deya Smith is an emerging multi-media personality. A former Miss Black USA, this writer, actress, producer, and motivational speaker has been intriguing the airwaves with her provocative CommentRary Deya Direct! She calls it CommentRary because it’s contrary to the status quo, it’s social, political, personal, poetic, riveting and done from a black women’s perspective.
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/15-10/21)
31 photos Launch gallery
1. Just a NY girl with BIG dreams....
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2. HAPPY CHILDREN=QUALITY PARENTING. We don't always see eye to eye on everything and that's normal. We're human beings. But we come together and do it right for what's important, the kids. We are not enemies, we are parents. And we are parents 1st. S/O to @monyettashaw for making Mason's bday memorable. S/O to @itscrystalsmith at home taking care of our other lil' Prince. ❤️❤️❤️ THIS IS WHAT CO-PARENTING LOOKS LIKE. #Blessed #Happy #AboveTheDrama #BiggerThanUs
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3. So happy to finally be able to share with you all that I’m the new Global Brand Ambassador for @Revlon! Follow my day on RevlonSnaps. Yay! Choose Love, Everybody! #RevlonXCiara #chooselove #ad
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4. Glam on point!!!@makeupbymotoko & @shaylinjoneshair #easybreezy @lifetimetv #beachesmovie #january2017 😘
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5. ✨True love ✨📸: @jessiemarrerophotography
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7. Today was not easy..but by the grace of God we all got through it. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of your Prayers, Positive thoughts and Support for us throughout the years. Tommy will be missed but most certainly never forgotten...And PLEASE don't ask "Where's Martin?.." he was there too...just not in this picture. Lol! God bless you all.. #LoveConquersAll #MartinShow
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9. West coast get ready for #RockyHorror. I will be live tweeting again. #letsdothetimewarpagain
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10. #THEKEYS pre order yours now ... Available everywhere #NOV22 #WeTheBest 🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
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11. We about to ROCK at #KCABlackBall!! All for our life-changing effort to end 🌎 AIDS.
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12. Today's #SNAPJACK is brought to you by @yazzthegreatest 😂😂😂💋💋💋
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13. Damn girl you kinda old to be headed to the Go Go. You coming in at the age they leaving. LMAO
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14. Daddy daycare B-Boxin with @acewellstucker @shopraisingace
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15. #FBF Naviyd & URV "LIL MONSTERS"
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16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST LEGENDS IN OUR HIPHOP HISTORY! @snoopdogg CONTINUED BLESSING AND LOVE FAMILY!!!!! REAL OG!
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17. Thank you for a beautiful night VSU! Let's do it again! #HOMECOMING
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18. Had a great time this morning with my familia Erica, Griff & Truth!!
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19. Check out my interview on @essence facebook live. #inmyownwords #nycpromo #day2
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20. #She💋 #tbt #TheCoveAtTheAtlantis #DawgPawsAndAll
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21. Bae #retailtherapy
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22. Why me and @coryhardrict got the same pose... and notee... new mouth #naked
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23. When my husband is my personal 'hype-man'! it kills me every time! 💜😂 #WHATNOW #lostfiles📷
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24. Diggy Simmons
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25. Hand full of @jacquieaiche 💙💎💍 @esnail_la 💅🏾
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26. SuperSoulers! You can watch my interview with Carl Lentz live from my Facebook page, tomorrow at 11a ET| 8a PT. #SuperSoulSunday
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27. 💋 .. When the friendship is easy like Sunday morning. ☀️
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28. Sunday mornings are the best........... hugs and cuddles with my angel
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29. #huggar16 #hellohuggars
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30. My gym is everywhere!.. #RnBMoney #TheGeneral 📸: @twelvepastseven
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31. Nothing I would rather be doing... Rocko setting up our movie, Romelō working on a puzzle & Laiyah singing and sharing all she's learning at school... I'm so grateful for the joy they've brought into my life ... Praying for peace , joy & love in the home of EVERY family ♥️ #HeadScarfPJSunday LOL 😂
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