#WhoBitBeyonce: The Internet Goes Crazy Speculating

In case you’ve been off the internet for a few hours, Tiffany Haddish may have jacked up her career before it’s really gotten started. It seems the nascent actress got a little carried away in her GQ interview and revealed the whole story behind the selfie she took some time back with Beyoncè. During this interview she revealed that and as yet unidentified actress BIT Beyonce. In the face.

Beyonce took it in stride, telling Haddish that ‘The bitch is on drugs.” So for those of us waiting for sign that Beyonce was a real sister and not a fembot who sings on command, this revelation was a blockbuster moment, a sign that despite her fame, her money, her man and her ability to produce cute kids, B is the kind of girl who can start a story with the all-important 3 words any real sister will drop everything to hear: “So this bitch….”

Haddish herself may have become the subject of that kind of story, as the BeyHive didn’t take too kindly to Haddish spilling the Queen’s business. They have swarmed onto Haddish’s Instagram, leaving behind salty comments and arguing amongst themselves. (Chill, y’all is it that serious? Couldn’t all of that energy be better used for, I don’t know, ending gun violence? World peace?)

Just an example of the blood being spilled in the comments on one Haddish IG post:

Of course, what everyone else wants to know is WHO BIT BEYONCE?

Chrissy Teigen at first says she KNOWS… but ain’t tellin.’ (Chrissy, we will babysit…just hit us up!) Then said, she was WRONG and surprised at who it actually was…..Wait, what?

Beyonce, who has not issued a statement because maybe she was tired out from her Target Easter shopping trip, is also being begged to reveal the actress’s name…but likely won’t as she knows the Beyhive will avenge the insult and she’s not going to be responsible for the mayhem.

In fact, she seems quite unbothered:

Now you know its possible she and Haddish cooked this up so you’ll go get those OTR 2 tickets right? This timing seems a little fishy.

But of course, Black/Beyonce/BeyHive Twitter ran with it:

See…we need to know who bit(!) you in the face (!!!!!), @Beyonce (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

We do not tolerate this kind of behavior, on drugs or not.

RELEASE THE DEETS!!!!!!!

LET US DEFEND YOUR HONOR, QUEEN!!!!!! #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/SQSe38OikZ

— ViBaènium (@T_dot_Lee_PhD) March 26, 2018

That actress better be glad Solange wasn’t there. #WhoBitBeyonce

— Baepriℓ 🦉♏ (@owldara112) March 26, 2018

On the next season of American Crime Story #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/XwS3KStukd

— Joel Cazares (@jcazres) March 26, 2018

Dear Special Counsel Mueller,

I know you’re busy trying to safeguard Democracy. And you’ve been doing a really great job. But, if you have time, we’d love your talents to be focused on #WhoBitBeyonce.

We need to know.

Sincerely,

America

— Jeremy D. Thompson (@Reelpolitik) March 26, 2018

Here are some A-list white women who were at the party that night
1. Gwenyth Paltrow
2. Gal Gadot
3. Jennifer Lawrence
4. Scarlet Johansson
5. Krysten Ritter

Now who bit her?

— Σωφρονία (@venusin12th) March 26, 2018

Well, whodunit? Do you have any clues?

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