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Congratulations to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.  Over the weekend the couple gave birth to their first child, a beautiful baby girl.  And here are some exclusive highlights from the delivery room:

– The baby came five weeks early, the same length of time as Kim’s marriage to Kris Humphries.

– When the doctors delivered a healthy baby Kanye got down on his knees and said, thank you “Yeezus”.

– Thanks to Kim’s many sexual encounters that baby slid right out without even touching the sides.

– While Kim was in the hospital giving birth her step dad, Bruce Jenner, was in the bed right next to her getting another facelift.

– So now there’s another Kardashian girl more popular than Khloe.

– In the delivery room again Kanye denied cheating on Kim, but after seeing that baby come out he’s thinking about it.

– On the birth certificate under race they check the box that said rich.

– And so that all the memories of delivering their first child will be captured for all of prosperity, Kim and Kenya had the entire birth videotaped, by Ray J.