I am currently in Washington, D.C. for the second Inauguration of President Barack Obama, as well as visiting my 20-something-year-old little sister. I enjoy hanging with my sister and her fellow 20-something friends because I reminisce on the days when my girls and I would have our own happy hours at the others’ apartment, staying up all night, drinking, dancing, talking and debating topics from dating to politics to work/life balance.
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Last night’s gathering at my sister’s apartment proved to be very entertaining as my “elderly” mid – 30s booty retired to bed while they stayed awake still playing all manners of Rihanna and French Montana records. Around 1:00 am or so, the music stopped and I heard very loud debates ensuing about “assimilation” in the workplace and how some of them feel they have to suppress who they really are in order to succeed at their jobs.
Though the act of assimilation is typically expressed by a means of taking on or absorbing into one culture or group, the mourning of these young women, specifically expressed in their angst in believing they can’t be themselves at all times, is quite sad to me.
Is it possible to maintain a sense of self, while “assimilating” into your corporate environment?
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One of my sister’s friends is extremely passionate about preserving aspects of the African American culture and finds it appalling that she has to even think about toning down her “blackness” to not offend and/or even frighten her supervisors and coworkers. This “blackness” she refers to is her love for sharing African-American history, her natural hair and even her use of Ebonics from time to time. While listening in on this debate, it was apparent that she was met with opposition from other girlfriends who believe, “you do what you have to do in order to get a check.”
Earlier that day before I made it to D.C., I attended a Continuing Legal Education Course at the New York City Bar Association in Manhattan. I always get a chuckle when I attend courses at the NYC Bar because I am the only person who looks like me in the entire building. Now when I say “who looks like me,” I do not mean I am the only African-American or the only African-American woman there for that matter. I am the only attorney in the building rocking a curly fro and wearing Chuck Taylors. I always scan the room, taking note of the paintings of highly poised and powerful Judges who served years ago and I laugh very hard on the inside and immediately think, “I bet they never thought someone like me would be sitting here.” I also begin to wonder what the other attorneys may be thinking seeing me there and then the lecturer begins to speak and I then focus on what’s important: the material being presented and me becoming a better attorney.
Personality is a major factor in career destiny. Some people are able to quickly discern that they are not “fit” to serve in a corporate environment, while others struggle for years to find a healthy balance between fitting in and being themselves. I always believed that being yourself is most important. If I have ever been turned down for a job or by a client because they were put off by my personality and/or choice of casual attire, I believe we were not meant to work together. More than a paycheck, I need peace of mind and one thing that does not give me peace is attempting to keep this curly fro straight in the humid month of July and wearing suits and panty hose all day so someone else can feel “comfortable.”
Do you worry about fitting in?
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Rashida Maples, Esq. is Founder and Managing Partner of J. Maples & Associates (www.jmaplesandassociates.com). She has practiced Entertainment, Real Estate and Small Business Law for 9 years, handling both transactional and litigation matters. Her clients include R&B Artists Bilal and Olivia, NFL Superstar Ray Lewis, Fashion Powerhouse Harlem’s Fashion Row, KinderJam, LLC and Hirschfeld Properties, LLC.
