More Than Just a Band-Aid: The Benefits of Couples Therapy
More Than Just a Band-Aid: How Couples Therapy Can Transform Your Relationship
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For many couples, wedding planning revolves around the details—flowers, attire, photography—making sure every part of the big day is perfect. However, focusing on these elements often leaves little room for preparing for the marriage. The idea of “happily ever after” can be romanticized, but the reality of marriage usually brings unexpected challenges. Even with the best planning, life can present challenges no couple is ready for.
Benefits of Couples Therapy
Couples therapy can allow partners to build a deeper connection and create a sense of safety in their relationship. It offers tools to work through communication breakdowns, resolve conflicts, and foster vulnerability.
That’s where couples therapy comes in. Therapy provides a path for partners seeking a deeper connection and a sense of safety in their relationship. It offers tools to navigate communication breakdowns, resolve conflicts, and embrace vulnerability. Couples can unlearn unhealthy habits in this supportive environment and develop systems that promote unity and lasting connections.
I spoke with Nathaniel Turner, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) based in New York City, to dive deeper into the value of therapy for couples. Specializing in family conflict, relationship dynamics, and emotional intelligence, Turner owns Intentions for Wellness Marriage & Family Therapy PLLC. He helps couples and families build healthier relational systems. In addition to his clinical work, Turner is a clinical supervisor for young men transitioning out of foster care, and he writes and advocates for relational wellness.
A Passion for Couples and Relationship Dynamics
Turner’s path into couples therapy came from his desire to have the flexibility to work with different populations. Specializing in relationships allowed him to address family dynamics while providing the flexibility to guide couples through effective communication and creating a shared framework for navigating life together.
“I see myself as a translator,” Turner explained. “I help couples create a common language and unified system to navigate their relationship.”
A unique aspect of Turner’s approach is how his faith intersects with his work. He recognized strong connections between family therapy principles and biblical teachings in his studies.
“Marriage is a mystery that images Christ and the church, and helping couples reflect that is deeply fulfilling,” he shared.
What Is Couples Therapy, Exactly?
Turner describes couples therapy as a structured process to help two people develop new skills, experience emotional growth, and create a new way of being together.
Couples therapy follows three phases:
- Joining: Establishing a therapeutic alliance where the couple—not the individuals—is the focus. Turner emphasizes mutuality, saying, “Both perspectives need to feel equally valued for the process to work.”
- Assessing: Identifying the issue and finding a way to communicate it in a shared language. “What’s the core problem, and how can we both name it and understand it?”
- Intervening: Helping the couple develop tools and systems to sustain their relationship beyond therapy.
Why Couples Seek Therapy
A common misconception is that couples therapy is only for resolving communication problems. While communication breakdowns are a frequent cause of seeking therapy, Turner notes they are often symptoms of more profound, more complex issues.
“Often, there’s an interaction or pattern that makes one or both partners feel unseen or misunderstood,” Turner explained. “These patterns are often rooted in anxiety—whether it’s about addressing the issue, confronting it, or negotiating a solution.”
Infidelity and sexual difficulties are also significant reasons couples seek therapy. Turner stressed that accountability from both partners is essential in these cases, and this can be developed in couples therapy. “Mutuality must be established, and if individual issues like narcissism arise, they can be addressed—but the goal is to understand the story behind the actions and rebuild trust.”
The Role of Vulnerability in Therapy
According to Turner, emotional vulnerability is crucial for couples therapy to succeed. However, creating space for vulnerability requires trust and structure—mainly since couples therapy typically works within a shorter timeline than individual therapy.
Many couples come into therapy expecting immediate solutions, and sometimes, one partner might feel pressured into the process. Turner works with the hesitant partner by offering a limited commitment of three sessions to show what progress can be made in that time.
This period is essential for building trust and determining whether the couple and therapist are a good match. During this time, vulnerability can emerge, helping couples decide whether to continue investing in their relationship.
Therapy Isn’t Just for Couples in Crisis
A common myth about couples therapy is that it’s only for those nearing separation or struggling with communication issues. Turner challenges this notion by explaining that therapy can also act as a proactive measure for couples who wish to deepen their connection and prepare for the challenges ahead.
Whether dealing with minor disconnects or tackling more significant challenges, couples therapy can be used as a tool for growth as it offers a space for couples to strengthen their bond and prepare for future hurdles. For couples preparing for marriage, therapy provides benefits that are often overlooked. As Turner points out, “You will never reach a point where you enter into marriage, and there are no difficulties.” Couples therapy is not just for couples in crisis; it’s also for those who want to lay a strong foundation for a healthy, long-lasting marriage. In couples therapy, couples can continue to deepen intimacy, learn new and healthy emotional and relational systems, and build practices that foster mutuality, humility, forgiveness, and safety. Whether you’re planning your wedding, navigating infidelity, or simply working to strengthen your connection, couples therapy can be a powerful tool for healing, growth, and lasting unity.
Sade Solomon is a NYC-based social media personality and multi-hyphenate creator who boldly and fashionably ignites authentic and candid conversations on topics surrounding intercourse, singleness, and abstinence. After embarking on her journey of abstinence in 2013, Sade began openly sharing her life-changing commitment on various online platforms while enlightening and inspiring many through her journey. In her book, Ready, Set, Wait, Sade peels back the layers of truth about navigating singleness and abstinence as a single Christian woman. Her work and commentary have been featured by Good Morning America, Harper’s Bazaar, Essence, Black Love, and XO Necole.
MORE FROM SADE SOLOMON:
How To Tackle Finances In New Relationships
Scriptures For Drawing Strength From God’s Word In Your Single Season
More Than Just a Band-Aid: How Couples Therapy Can Transform Your Relationship was originally published on elev8.com
