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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Georgia Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of September 21st, 2022.
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Aries: Why Does Grandma wait for your friends to come over and then ask if anybody can see her camel toe in the outfit is she just put on?
Taurus: Why is it your best friend who is big looks at other people smaller than her and says, If I get that big please let me know?
Gemini: You might be in the hood. If the neighborhood crackhead sells better ice cream out of his cooler than the ice cream truck.
Cancer: Why is it every day you say you don’t quit your job and every day, you don’t?
Leo: Slow down on your tan if you’re always being asked for your immigration papers.
Virgo: Use more sunscreen if your arms are starting to look like a leather purse.
Libra: If the only reason you go to a club is for possible confrontation, you probably need anger management.
Scorpio: if you’re a dentist is in need of a good tooth whitener, seek another dentist.
Sagittarius: Why your grandma always fallen out in church and they actually asked her not to come back because she’ll never have any panties.
Capricorn: When asked what you do for a living and you say you’re a model, don’t be mad if they ask you again.
Aquarius: Stop going to family reunions expect to get numbers. It’s a family reunion.
Pisces: Stop telling people you are real N doing things and you know you are doing it and the only thing you’re doing is real time.
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