Society would have you believe that men don’t have any feelings or show emotions, but in fact, men are as much emotional beings as women are. Yes, even so-called “real” men, too. The power of the spoken word is healing or detrimental–depending on how you use it. So let’s lift up the men we love with our words. Here’s nine phrases that men we surveyed wanted to hear:
“You look handsome.” It is said good man should always remind his woman how beautiful he thinks she is–in part because he doesn’t want another man to do it more than him. Yet, its also a great feeling for a man to be told he is handsome by someone he cares about. Just the word ‘handsome’ holds a different meaning than other compliments and seems to hit us a little differently. For those of us who do put effort into our appearance and don’t just toss on a t-shirt and jeans to go out to dinner, it is appreciated when our efforts are notice. And even if we are known just to put on a t-shirt and jeans, when we do something different, it should be noticed as well.
“I’m proud of you.” Men see their self-worth differently than women do. I remember being asked why I am so driven to succeed professionally. “Isn’t being a good man enough?” We strive towards goals and accomplishments whether it be at our job or a business we have chosen to start. Much of our confidence is dependent on how well we do in accomplishing these goals. Having the support of the woman in our life and know that you think we are doing a good job (professionally or personally) is reassuring in ways that many other statements can never be.
“I see you!” Men get down on themselves about their bodies, too. We all want to have better abs or a more defined chest. We want to feel like we can protect you and ourselves. We want to feel strong. We want to feel like men. When we do put in the effort to start eating better and working out, we are hoping it gets noticed. But, not just by anyone — by you. Telling us that you can see an improvement (no matter how small) from our efforts will reinforce us and encourage us to continue along our path. Staying motivated is not easy.
“I trust you.” With all of the negativity floating around in the world today, it is much easier to keep ourselves guarded and not fully trust somebody. The truth is, though, that if a man does not feel trusted he will constantly feel insecure in the relationship. He will feel that you will be suspicious of everything he does or says and that you will not fully open up to him about how you feel. If a man knows that you trust him, it will bring a new level of security to the relationship.
“Thank you.” Whether it is something small like picking up your prescription down the street, taking you to dinner, or getting that coffee in the morning — these two small words go a long way. Kindness should never be given to someone for the sake of a return, but appreciation should always be expressed when someone puts in effort.