'Love and Hip Hop Hollywood' Episode 1 Recap + Full Episode

“Love and Hip Hop Hollywood” premiered last night, and it’s already filled with explosives. From Teairra Marie’s love of Ray J to Fizz’s (of B2K fame) baby mama drama with his ex-girlfriend, Moniece, we see that this season is going to get crazy! Here are 41 thoughts we had just watching the premiere

1. Teairra Marie loves her some selfies!

2. Okay, so we’ve heard of singer-songwriters, but rapper-publicists? That’s new…

3. So glad they spelled homegirl’s name, because we weren’t sure if it was “Hazel Lee” or… Well, that’s all we thought. *Repeats to self* Hazel-E… Hazel-E…

4. Lemme get this straight: Teairra and Hazel are roommates who don’t see each other, and Teairra has never seen their apartment? I have confusion.

5. Why are their drink straws so short?

6. Yo, Teairra is really in love with Ray J…

7. … and it’s been going on for 10 years…

8. … while he had a show on VH1 where we went to find love. Twice… (Y’all remember “For the Love of Ray J,” right?)

9. … and had a sex tape.

10. Okay, just so we’re clear.

11. AND OL’ GIRL HAS A TATTOO OF HIM?

12. They are really trying to push this Myx Moscato.

13. Really, Teairra, what things does Ray J have of yours where you haven’t needed it for, like, a year?

14. Morgan knows she’s Mona Scott-Young’s love child with Free (formerly of BET’s “106 & Park”).

15. Ray J is really an author?

16. He never had a website?

17. What is with these reality show mamas?

18. Omarion, you’re sure you’re the king? Because we remember…

19. Wow, Soulja Boy is dating Teddy Riley’s daughter??

20. And no one knows about their relationship? We see where this is going…

21. Okay, Teairra, we’re not going to be doing this all season.

22. Okay, we know this is going to go on all season.

23. Seriously, how did she not know RAY J was cheating on her?

24. Fizz had a solo album?? *Looks around*

25. Whoa, it’s been 10 YEARS since B2K??

26. Never heard of Moniece.

27. Yikes! It really sucks to be a mom and not have custody of her kids. This is too heavy for us!

28. Nia, girl, what you put on that plate?

29. Soulja doesn’t know either.

30. Show of hands — who thinks Nia and Soulja moving in together is going to backfire?

31. And when did this turn into “Teen Mom Love and Hip Hop?”

32. Apryl, Leslie does not want to help you with your baby shower.

33. Okay, so Leslie is the Mama Joyce of the situation. On a scale of crazy reality moms, that’s like a nine.

34. It’s only a matter of time until she comes out with a song. We give her one more season.

35. It’s a proven fact, glasses make you smarter.

36. Fizz, get it together already. Parents need two parents.

37. Who’s going to eat those cupcakes in the background?

38. Princess Love? Ain’t that homegirl’s name from “Adventure Time?”

39. Only petty Betties Instagram other people’s belongings.

40. Just a matter of time until Teairra Marie pops Princess Bubblegum in the face.

41. Ooh, we can’t wait until next week!