According to FOX news and Megyn Kelly, Santa Claus is white, apparently it’s a fact. But here at The D.L. Hughley Show we have found out that he is actually black. So gather around kiddies and listen to the audio as we give you proof that St.Nick is black!
DL: All right, Jaz, Miss Sanders, Jazmine Kashmir, Jackson Sanders. All right, give it to me, the top ten facts that prove that Santa Claus is actually black.
10. He makes his own toys.
DL: Yes. Why does it smell like black incense? Shut up. It’s an incense holder.
9. He only nibbles on the cookies because he has diabetes.
DL: Right, he got the sugar. Hey, daddy, why are there syringes on the plate where the cookies were.
8. He has an entourage
Jasmine: The elves.
7. He pimped out his sleigh so much it can now fly.
DL: I believe I can fly.
6. He knows how to execute a breaking and entering without getting caught.
DL: Right, right. He watch a lot of CSI, let me just tell you that.
DL: All right, Jazmine, I don’t care what Megan Kelly and the people at Fox say, ten irrefutable facts that prove that Santa Claus is black.
5. He wears an all matching fur suit.
DL: Yeah, like my uncle Cleofus.
Steve: Cleofus wears gators.
4. He smokes a pipe and we’re not exactly sure what’s in it.
DL: Right, from the Bobby Brown collection.
3. He only works one night a year but claims he has a hard job.
Jasmine: That’s just like a brother, isn’t it?
2. He has a full beard, it’s because when he shaves he gets the severe razor bumps.
DL: Yeah, it looks like the back of Forrest Whittaker’s neck if he don’t do it right.
1. He stays out all night and tells his wife he’s working.
DL: That’s not Santa, that’s me! (Laughter)