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Since returning to the airwaves on the OWN Network with “Oprah’s Lifeclass” and “Iyanla: Fix My Life,” Iyanla Vanzant has been healing relationships and families one show at a time. On a recent broadcast of “Fatherless Sons” she explored the pain and pathology of men who grow up without their fathers as well as what leads those fathers to abandon them in the first place. Last night, the follow-up “Fatherless Sons: The Reaction” covered the passionate response to the original show.

“The reaction was incredible,” Iyanla told The Tom Joyner Morning Show. “For me the good thing is people are saying what can I do? How can I go back and get my children or how do I stop being angry at the father so I can let him in? So people got the message which is about healing.”

Vanzant will next cover “Daddyless Daughters,” on Sunday, July 14 at 9 p.m. on Oprah’s “Lifeclass,” where daughters will talk about the pain of losing or not knowing their dads. But what are the lessons that can be learned from children who are disconnected from absent fathers? Vanzant offers some guidance.  If you are a parent who wants to reconnect, Vanzant says, you must take the first step. Even if you are financially unable to do things with your child, basic communication is a start.

“It’s absolutely an epidemic and we’ve seen it go on for so long and we’ve accommodated it and we’ve tolerated it. And now that we’ve seen how our children are so damaged and wounded and hurting,  we’re finally saying we need to do something about this. The first thing is fathers need to go back and get their children. They just have to. And the mothers have to stop being angry and let them come back. And the relationship between the rather and the mother needs to be completed. Sometines the relationship broke down and there’s hurt and anger.

And then you drop money in the mix and then you have the hot bed of mess. When the father is not or cannot pay child support [then often] the mother feels overwhelmed or slighted. If you’re breathing, you can call your child, text your child. You’ve got to get back. And particularly to the boys. You’ve got to get fathers and sons back together.”

For fathers unsure how to reclaim a relationship with their children after years of absence, Iyanla says that it’s best to take it slowly. But consistency, she says, is what’s most important.

“You can be gone for nine years an show up with a toy and a check and the kid is going to be willing to accept you. That starts with basic communication. How about a birthday card? How about a text? How about a letter or email? But as someone said last night on the show ‘Let’s not let technology replace the physical contact. And then small things you can do if the children are in school. Find a day to help with homework. Sign up to go on a class trip. Begin to create something that you do consistently. That’s the key. You cannot have children sitting on the porch the stoop, the step, the window waiting for you and you don’t show up. We’ve got to make our children a priority.”

The impact of fatherlessness is felt by different genders in different ways, says Vanzant, who hopes to shed light on the issues of women with the new special on “daddyless daughters.”

“When the father leaves, he takes his son’s self esteem, but when he leaves his daughter, he takes her worth. That’s why so many sleep around looking for that love. What a father teaches his daughter is non-sexual intimacy.”

Vanzant’s new season of “Iyanla, Fix My Life,” begins on July 27th with R&B singer Syleena Johnson, who stars on TV One’s “R&B Divas,” trying to repair her relationship with her own mother. Given all the work she does with people in need of healing, what is the hardest part of her process?

“The bardest thing is getting people to admit their mistakes and not feel guilty and afraid. People do not like to admit they are wrong,” says Vanzant.

Your First Look: Iyanla’s All-New Season

Iyanla: Fix My Life returns Saturday, July 27, at 9/8c with an all-new season of breakthroughs. Watch the emotional preview today.

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6 thoughts on “Iyanla Vanzant: Fathers, Please Come Get Your Sons

  1. I have been browsing on on the web greater than about three a long time today, even so never ever uncovered almost any attention-grabbing document similar to your own property. It truly is lovely value enough personally. In person, if perhaps virtually all world wide web owners plus web owners created excellent content material just like you performed, the world wide web will likely be far more valuable than previously.

  2. Yes,I am an angry Black man and I do not give a damn about your freaking opinions……The Black witch I had the misfortune to cross path with when I was young,dumb and full of (*&,always used to tell me that no matter what was to happen between us, she would never poison my son’s mind against me.I always wondered why someone would defend themselves before being accused of doing something.The answer,I found out is because they intended to do what it is that they are defending themselves against.It didn’t take six months before my son stopped answering my calls and letters.It has been 14 years since we last spoke.I tried on many different occasions to reach out to the bastard , with no positive results.Now, I hate him just as much as he hates me and if I were to see him in the streets begging for food,I would walk right over him without giving it a second thought.I am getting sick and tired of every asshole on this planet trying to tell the Black man that he is to blame for all the ills of the Black race.The Black woman is really the worse piece of crap on planet earth.She does not have the sense nature gave to a billy goat.She is just an emotionally unstable freak of nature who is of no use to the race except for creating slaves for the system.She is leading the Black man straight over a cliff and he is stupid enough to follow her because of his obsession with her big phat ass.She has managed to convince the Black man that one day,a white zombie will come from the sky to take him somewhere where all his troubles will be over and happiness will surround him forever…..She insists that she has a special relationship with this zombie while having all sorts of other relationships with Tyronne , Bubba and Trevor.She is having all these sexual relationships while also insisting that this god is a jealous god.One would think that if she truly respected this jealous god,she would learn how to keep her damn legs closed……A damn hypocrite and liar is what she is.The weak and ignorant Black man is no better for allowing himself to be dragged into this cesspool of mental corruption.The white man is very smart for giving the Black woman more opportunities than he does the Black man because he knows he can count on her to do his dirty job for him.Lately,I am noticing a very disturbing trend where financially successful Black men are being pushed to the edge by these slick Black O’s just so they can send these Black men to jail.I have no trust nor love for any Black woman.I ill not disrespect her but neither will I show her any special favor for she deserves none.By the way,if that woman in the picture is the one in question,she needs to get her teeth fixed….She is ugly.

  3. the Timekeeper on said:

    Yes it is a good topic and deserves our attention. However, I wish Ms. VanZant could have opne show ( just one) where she didnt feel it was necessary to throw the entire male population under the bust. In her last statement, she said ” If you dont have money, at least start a dialogue when she knows full well ( unless she doesnt want to admit it) that if you dont have money, you dont have any rights. Thats just the plain, hard truth.

  4. Very important issue. Waaaaay more important than the Paula Deen saga, or what Beyoncé is wearing, or what Kanya, and the K’s are doing. Thanks Iyanla for addressing this topic. It’s long over due,

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