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When you learn to love yourself, you teach others how to love you back.

This is a similar perspective that Basketball Wives Reality Star Evelyn Lozada shared with me during our interview recently (See video here).  Evelyn came out of a long-term relationship with a basketball player that ultimately did not give her the love and commitment that her heart desired.

As a part of moving on with her life, she became a cast member of “Basketball Wives,” was running her shoe company and was finally starting to date. In fact, she shared how she was excited about this new chapter in her life and felt good about investing in her own dreams. She was in a good place. And as the saying goes, when you stop looking “it” comes to you.

As I write this blog, Evelyn will be getting married tomorrow, the 4th of July, to NFL player Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson. He proposed after only four months of dating. She wasn’t expecting it or pressuring him. They were simply happy and enjoying themselves and their love.

Of course, I cannot predict anything in terms of the longevity of their marriage. But I do know that they are entering into it committed and with both eyes open. Enough cannot be said about the power of energy. When you have good energy about yourself, other people feel it. It draws them and it is contagious. So if you are having a hard time attracting the right people in your life, it begs the question; how are you feeling about yourself lately?

DEYA DIRECTIVE:  Get in touch with yourself in terms of what you love to do, love to eat, love to wear and love about yourself. Then do it, cook it, buy it or design it, and finally write yourself a love letter affirming the best in you. This eliminates you waiting on love to come your way.  Instead, you become the way to love; then you can invite more love into your house.

Deya “Direct” Smith is a producer on “The Tom Joyner Morning Show” and the creator and host of “Girlfriend FM.”  For more info e-mail @Deyadirect@aol.com.