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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of May 4th, 2022:
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Get the cliff notes below:
Aries: You’ve become a professional naked selfie taker. Well, when you count the filters, the angles, and the lighting.
Taurus: You may not be bathing enough if you take a shower and you leave a ring around your shower.
Gemini: You might be petty if you look up your man’s ex-girlfriends to see what they look like.
Cancer: Stop debating stuff you know nothing about you just don’t know about it.
Leo: The good thing about what’s going on right now. You now have the time to write back all your friends that are locked down.
Virgo: I know you have to use your imagination. However, virtually buying weed and smoking it virtually could be a problem.
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Libra: You’re wrong for naming your newborn after a seasoning.
Scorpio: Your take is on me yet you always know just how far then you can go past it.
Sagittarius: Remember your Uncle was real good at reinventing history. He be lying.
Capricorn: Stop wearing clothes too small for you. You’re doing it yourself.
Aquarius: You know your dog has rabies but you won’t take him to the vet. You got excuses. Now “he’s just foaming a little bit at the mouth but he’s okay. He’s not growling he’s smiling.”
Pisces: Why is your crazy uncle showing your kids how to inconspicuously pee outside?
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