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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of April 26, 2022:
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Read your daily horrorscopes below
Aries: Remember, any call after 2 am from an ex should not be answered.
Taurus: Questioning a judge’s educational background before being sentenced should probably be avoided.
Gemini: Your man may be slow if he thought a thesaurus was a prehistoric animal.
Cancer: Stop bragging about what celebrity you almost cussed out.
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Leo: Your man just applied for a job for the first time in 15 years and he thinks you should give him some.
Virgo: Your child just slept a mess out of you in public. You are not playing it out very well.
Libra: Your marriage may be in trouble. If your man is sending you brochures about open marriages. They got brochures?
Scorpio: You might be petty if you will not date any NFL player who’s still working off of his rookie contract. That’s not petty, that’s smart.
Sagittarius: Stop taking relationship advice from Jada Pinkett Smith. Okay, stop watching the red table talk for advice. Although I mean she got Will (Smith) yeah, I mean, you got that man wrapped around a finger. You know what? I take that back. Go ahead and watch it.
Capricorn: you tell people you’re “Young, Gifted, and Black.” Hey, one out of three isn’t bad actually.
Aquarius: If a little ole lady angrily walks up on a group of young black people get your cell phone out. It’s about to go down!
Pisces: Remember., never meet somebody who gets medical advice from Joe Rogan. He’s a podcaster. And yeah, so Dr. Oz… it’s a crapshoot anymore. I think we’re done.
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