1. Discuss – Discuss the emotional aspect of the breakup above all else. Divorce is a time of great emotional pain and enormous change. You may have done your utmost to save the marriage, only to have it result in a definite end. If you’re finding it difficult to work through the changes and sense of emotional loss, it is vital to seek counselling from a neutral party, as this will help you deal with the loss of trust, respect and affection within the relationship. Learning coping strategies will help you to survive the pain and losses.
2. Deal – Deal appropriately with adjustment in the community. Most often divorcing couples have to leave a community of friends and colleagues to join another. Shared friends from the former marriage often need to choose whose “side” they are on. Deal with losses in a mature way, knowing that some of these friendships, like the marriage were never meant to be. This can be a huge loss for many people who had valued the relationships formed and a sense of belonging that they once shared. However, being realistic about the relationships can help smooth the path for you
3. Distance – Distance yourself from all aspects of the broken relationship. Move on to rediscover your own individuality. This is referred to as the central separation, the stage when the person starts to feel whole again. At this stage, you need to have clearly defined rules in your head about any further interaction with your spouse, in order to continue maintaining the peace. Some of these rules could include (they’re up to you)
“I knew that Deion, Mr. Prime Time, seems like a nice guy,” Babyface says. “But he became a classy guy when he called me and said he didn’t want to meet my children until he sat down and had lunch or breakfast with me, so he knew me before he met my children.”
“That is amazing,” Oprah says.
“I reached my hand out because Tracey’s family, so I want to make sure that she’s good,” Babyface says. “And I know she wants to make sure that I’m good.”
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