I won’t attend a church where the Senior Pastor disrespectfully refers to black women as “hoes.” That’s why I don’t embrace the message by Pastor Andy Thompson, founder of the World Overcomers Christian Church, in Durham, North Carolina.

Watch Pastor Thompson talk about how to approach relationships and marriage above.

Thompson, an African-American pastor who is trying to shake up his congregation, allegedly in the name of Jesus, recently instructed married women in his flock to “shine it up” so their husbands will remain faithful instead of letting the “hoes” they encounter lure them away.

Here’s what Thompson tweeted to his 10,000 member congregation: “Ladies if you want to be the only woman your man looks at Shine It Up! Don’t let the hoes he comes across out shine you.” So how is using the derogatory term “hoes” to characterize black women a Christian message? And what does this say about how Thomson views black women – and women in general? 

Thompson’s remarks are demeaning to black women and he should apologize from the pulpit on Sunday morning. “

We live in an extremely sexist society, in which women are constantly shamed. Words likes hoe, slut, thot, etc., are used to shame women’s sexuality or mere existence on a daily basis,” Taurean Brown wrote on the blog Black Sankofa. “Due to the sexist nature of this society, women are shamed for sexual promiscuity, while men are often praised and rewarded for it,” Brown wrote. “Many times women don’t even have to be ‘sexually promiscuous’ to be called a derogatory name.”

I don’t know Thompson but I question his compassion for women, his spiritual guidance and his methods of marriage counseling. I understand that Thompson is trying to preserve the institution of marriage and I agree with the concept of building a solid foundation for marriage. But calling black women “hoes” crosses the line. Brown suggested that Thompson should “humble himself” and apologize for the remark. But Thompson kept his rant alive by saying “some women are secretly evil whores” who don’t respect marriage and are only out to steal other women’s husbands.

A female friend pointed out to me that there are women in Thompson’s congregation who may actually agree with him because their husbands have strayed before, in part, because they were seduced by home-wrecking women in the church. These things do happen.

But during his video response, Thompson tried to clear up the controversy.

“I was in a marriage seminar. I was trying to help wives,” he said in his rebuttal to critics. “I was trying to help wives to save their marriage, to be successful in their marriage.” “Some may feel like there’s never any context where it’s okay for a pastor to call women hoes…you’ll have to forgive me,” he said. “Our goal and our aim is to help women.”

Thompson’s ill-advised choice of words reminds me of remarks made by Don Imus in 2007, when, during his then-program on MSNBC’s Imus in the Morning, he referred to the Rutgers University women’s basketball team, which is comprised of eight African-American and two white players, as “nappy-headed hoes.”

The black community was outraged by Imus’ racist remarks and there were national protests. Imus was taken off the air as a result of the controversy.

I’m not suggesting that there should be demonstrations against Thompson at his church, but as the Senior Pastor, Thompson needs to know that using the word “hoes” to refer to black women, regardless of his spiritual intentions, are demeaning and unacceptable. There is no place in the church for that kind of language – especially when it comes from a man of the cloth.

What do you think?  

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150 thoughts on “COMMENTARY: Should Pastor Apologize for Calling Black Women ‘Hoes’?

  1. Headoc on said:

    Grow up people. I think the person complaining is just using the pastor to try and boost his own popularity. Pastor Andy keeps it real and those who know his heart truly would never be drawn into the hype that would attempt to demean him. I appreciate the pastors style of communicating his message.

    • Tonya on said:

      Why are some of you so angry about this Pastor addressing black females sleeping around with married men as hoes? That’s what they are!!!!!!

      We all see and/or hear about it everyday. By all means, I’m not overlooking the married men who are participating in these affairs. Its just that this Pastor was educating the women during this message.

      Wives “of all colors”, take heed to his advice. He was right on with what this world of hoes are doing.

      • This is why we are where we are today. No civility. No respect. And no longer even trying to use intelligent dialect when addressing other members of society. I would never allow my young sons to take instruction from a man who does not have enough intelligence to express his views without degradation and disrespect. No matter how you slice it, there is no excuse for a teacher of the word of God to sink the level of street thug in order to get a message through to a congregation. And it would have to be one of us. Sad is an understatement.

      • James R. on said:

        First you need to either attend this Pastors Church or become a member, if his members is okay with his comment, why are outsiders so upset, if you watch some of his telecast, you would see what type of Pastor he is, this man should not be described by one word that’s true.

  2. He is a misogynist, which he shows not only by stooping to gutter language to describe women who mess with married men but also giving advice to cheated-on wives while giving cheating husbands a pass. Those who have no trouble with the crude terminology he used are missing the point that he disrespects women, period. There’s no other reason he would hold the women accountable but not the men. I get sick of hearing that men aren’t expected to exercise restraint but women are, which by that line of reasoning would make us responsible for men’s behavior as well as our own. Mature, responsible adults with a moral code and self-respect don’t try to have it both ways by thinking we’re entitled to do whatever we want while expecting total, unrecpricated fidelity from our mates or significant others. That’s what he should have addressed, along with the selfishness and dishonesty that are a part of cheating.

    • Sherita on said:

      Anne, we have been taught to blame the woman & forgive the man since the days of Adam & Eve. It is called BRAINWASH.

      • I agree totally with you, Sherita, that brainwashing is responsible for the acceptance of too many of the double standard. Too many of us black folks co-sign misogyny by such things as supporting rappers and other entertainers who refer to women as b*****s and hoes, by ignoring the predation of teenagers by adults like R. Kelly because some love his music, or by endorsing the use of crude street language by a pastor to describe women in adulterous affairs with married men. What’s worse, as Prophetic Imagination said in an earlier post, the issue of men giving advice to women on how to hold a man by keeping up their appearances without addressing the underlying reasons these men cheat has gotten old. If anyone white said or did these things, we would be up in arms and not even thinking about making excuses for him. It’s sad that some of us have such low standards on how we want to be treated that we defend indefensible behavior in the name of racial unity. Sexism among black folks is very real, and if not addressed, poses another obstacle to progress along with racism. There is no real progress that doesn’t address the issues unique to black men AND those unique to black women, especially since these issues have ripple effects that impact all of us.

  3. People have no problem when comedians, rappers and other folks refer to some women as hoes but are offended because a minister said for the ladies to spruce themselves up so that their husbands won’t be attracted to hoes? Keep it real, people….you all know what a hoe is and you know that there are hoes out there. Hoes is the modern term for the word whore, which is in the bible. Why are you getting so bent out of shape because he uses the term hoe? For the author, Pastor Andy is not disrespecting black women. He never made it a color thing. He said for married women to spruce themselves up so that their husbands won’t be attracted to hoes. The average person knows what he’s talking about, so with his congregation being 10,000 strong and growing, you certainly won’t be missed if you don’t attend. The seminar was attended by various women, so I don’t know why you all say he was talking about black women. There was no race issue here. The congregation at WOCC is VERY diverse….black, white, asian, hispanic…they’re all there. The sermon was held at TD Jakes’ IPL Conference, where people from all over the nation of all races were in attendance. Women know what a hoe is, and hoe is not a form of profanity, so people need to get over themselves.

  4. Well, a black church is filled with women so that wasn’t a good idea and secondly I wonder if the good Pastor would have liked it if someone called his wife or mother a “hoe” thirdly he’s an idiot!

  5. Q.Batts on said:

    So what do you call these “married men” who are sleeping with these so-called “hoes”…..Yes it is dead wrong to try to get at a married man/woman….But the real emphasis should be on the married person….They are the ones that have more to loose then these so-called hoes. Nobody seems to be doing that in these comments from what im reading. Just because you are married doesnt mean you are not going to get hollered at. Know you boundaries and respect your marriage and walk away…period!!!!

    • Tonya on said:

      Let’s not place the blame on one of the individuals at fault. Both individuals involved in such affairs are the wrongdoers. Married individuals should not engage in extramarital affairs just as single men/women shouldn’t involve themselves in the affairs. Right is right and wrong is wrong. Respect your marriages and those of others.

  6. Jamison on said:

    This pastor said nothing wrong. It would be one thing if hoes(whores, prostitutes, women who sleep with multiple people for money and/or influence) didn’t exist. It would be another if they existed but were ineffectual in what they do. However, hoes do exist and they are effective in what they do. So let’s not play the “I’m offended” card and act like what he said is racial despite the facts that he never mentioned a race and infidelity is only one reason marriages break up. Also it is true that married men and women are a team, if the women prefer their men to be stable financially which is something he can control, like wise men prefer their women looking good for him which is something she can control. Since they are a team, play your part. If you want him to do what’s right by you, do what’s right by him. Double standards are ugly and wrong whether you use your feelings or your vagina to manipulate him. If you don’t like it being done to you, don’t do it to this pastor. It amazing to me that people who don’t want the pastor to judge are so quick to judge him and say he is wrong. It is almost as if your standard of right and wrong are superior to God’s. At least this man is trying to help people strengthen something that is needed in our community . Those who are offended at the language and think he should apologize are only trying to hinder the person who is trying to help another person. If you are not willing to help heal and save marriages, stop trying to atop or hurt the people who are.

  7. eddie on said:

    What is a woman who knowingly sleep with or date a married man ? what do we call her ? The Bible is clear.. we have lost our way. our families are in trouble because Pastors DON’T tell the truth..it was a time a Pastor would tell the truth no matter who’s feelings got hurt.. now they are too busy trying to be popular and have the most members,, the church that have to MOST members is the the church that tell the most LIES.. .

    • I have no problem with pastors telling the truth. It’s how they convey the message that is important to me. Gutter slang is a sign of ignorance and disrespect. I don’t tolerate it from my peers – other women or men, and I certainly would never trust someone who should have more class and intelligence, charged with teaching a subject that very few people understand fully, to teach me or my family, especially young men. I wouldn’t let this filthy mouthed freak teach my dog how to piss on a fire hydrant.

  8. Jai Cotman on said:

    I’ve gotta say Michael, it seems your article has stirred up more issue than the Pastors comments. Here’s what I mean.

    At no time did I hear him direct the word “hoe” at black women specifically. He cast a very wide and broad net to include all races, because any woman regardless of the color of her skin, can and will try to run up in a marriage and take something, especially if the marriage is weak.

    Too many times we as men have that mentality “what she won’t do another one will” and there are women who live with that fear while others prey on it.

    If you really read your Bible, it’s not all peaches and cream. There is some “sho nuff” scary ish in there but as my Grandma and Pastor both say, there is no wasted ink in the Bible. The Bible doesn’t preach soft and neither did this Pastor. It’s called tough love.

    He should have followed it up with a message to the men saying that they have a Queen at home so why let a hoe up in your kingdom to play you like a fool?! That would have preached right there! #RunTellThat

  9. Keith on said:

    Why are we assuming that the possible “hoes” he was referring to have to all be black? A white, latino, asian, or Serb could just as easily ruin the marriages in question; and that person would be every bit as equally a “ho”.

    A “ho” is a “ho, no matter what color HE or SHE comes in. Don’t worry, ladies an unrepentant, unsaved male “ho” will meet with the same exact end as an unrepentant unsaved female “ho”. Jesus doesn’t do double-standards.

    Sounds like “hit dogs” holla’n to me.

  10. If you know that you are NOT a hoe, (whore) then why does it bother you? You only answer to what you are. I see this as GOOD advice plainly put. You understand it don’t you, and there is no way you can mistake his words. Ladies, especially married ladies, keep your stuff tight, meaning keep your husband interested in YOU and you won’t have to worry about a hoe stepping in and separating what God says no one should separate. True fact, Men are turned on by what they see, so married WOMEN, go the extra mile to look nice for YOUR husband EVERY DAY.

  11. I am wondering why this commentary is focused on Black women. He didn’t call them “black hoes.” Just because his congregation is majority Black doesn’t mean that he was talking about Black women. He is right there are “hoe” who don’t care if you are married or not, they will come against your marriage, and I think that as a pastor he is right to warn the women in his church and to encourage them to beat the hoes to the punch #vajazzle.

  12. Carolyn Barry on said:

    I feel sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Why get yourself in a up roar when a pastor calls women “HOES”. The majority of songs today reference “women” as hoes and bitches. Do not let words expose your truth that one may actually feel about themselves inside. It is sad that infidelity is in the church in the first place. Respect and valuing yourself
    goes a long way. Gook Lawd!

  13. I don’t think it is a Black or White issue. It is just down right disrespectful for a man of the cloth to refer to women that way. I don’t think Jesus would have said it. In fact he dispersed a crowd of men who wanted to stone a prostitute. His famous words were, “those who are without sin cast the first stone.”

    Wives are not the cause of their husbands running around and fornicating with every Janet, Jane, and Joan. Put the blame where it should be whether it is the husband or the wife who is straying. We talk about rappers using derogatory words for women and yet we hear it from the pulpit of the church. This is totally unacceptable. The pastor should apologize for what he said and choose his words a little more carefully.

  14. Prophetic Imagination on said:

    I am so tired of male pastors telling women what we need to do to keep a man but not holding the men to the same level of accountability. They make it seem like it is a woman’s job to keep a man but the man does not have to do anything to keep a woman. We are taught that we are dispensible and disposable while the man is invaluable. I am also tired of women AMENing this flagrant misogyny. Just because a man is a pastor does not make him a true man of God. Ladies we have to stop supporting those who degrade us even if that means standing up to a man of the cloth.

    • sherita on said:

      So from now on, men can cheat on their wives & blame the SHINY H__S. BRILLIANT idea! Now why didn’t I think of that. Thanks for telling it like it is Rev. In Jesus Name…AMEN.

  15. VirilisAfricanum on said:

    I’ve noticed that among the really good posts , there are also some fakers/trolls on this forum. However, they’re easy to spot. Their ultimate goal is to criticize, put down, attack, try to make people feel like victims and/or blame others for “our” issues. Nevertheless , they are easy to spot, look for the screen names that make reference that point to their ethnicity/ gender, check out the blatantly obvious misspelled words, intentionally poor grammar and syntax, and the constant references to their race and/or gender; off topic put downs and constantly agreeing with everything that demeans black people. Their feeling, or wanting to feel, or be, superior makes them believe that we’re so stupid we could never figure out who they are. Just continue ignoring their comments.

    • IanRousseault on said:

      Just because you’re a dummy Virillis Africanum, doesn’t mean that others are. Everyone has a difference of opinion, how sad the individual who cannot take someone else opinion. All Black people do not think alike, and that’s fine, why should we all think alike. Truthfully yes, there is a lot of sad, disturbing behavior that comes from certain segments of the black community, and it needs to be discussed and called out. You should always want to see people exhibiting their BEST behavior, and when you don’t see this, you MUST call people out for this, not accept it just because you’re of the same race. Call things out in hope of changing thoughts and actions. You’ll never know that you’re exhibiting, ratchet, disgusting, uneducated, nonhuman, ghetto tendencies if no one tells you!!!!!!

      • VirilisAfricanum on said:

        Let’s see IanRousseault…your Very First sentence begins with an over-the-top assault on my cognitive capabilities; to use your words, I am “a dummy”. But, then you say in the very next sentence, “Everyone has a difference of opinion, how sad the individual who cannot take someone else opinion”. You then spend the rest of your paragraph doing the very things I mentioned in the original post. How clever you are. What you failed to take into account, with your false premises and nonsensical rants, was that you gave yourself away as soon as you started with a personal attack on me, and ended it with your vile statement, “You’ll never know that you’re exhibiting, ratchet, disgusting, uneducated, nonhuman, ghetto tendencies if no one tells you!!!!!!”. I suspect you could not help yourself, the true self came out in the end.

        Now, if my predictions are correct, you will respond, if you can, with some type of undignified retort, because, you will not be able to control your nature. Just as you’ve shown by your earlier response. However, know that I won’t respond because, by your mere response, you will have proven my point.

      • IanRousseault on said:

        LMFAO!!!! You are truly a sad excuse for a human being. Please go and get help! LOL!!!

  16. VirilisAfricanum on said:

    I completely concur with the many comments below referring to the fact that the Reverend did not identify black woman as being the target of his label. I’m not sure if the author of the article was intentionally being sensationalistic, or whether the intent was that we all would presume the race is black.

    I’m somewhat disappointed in the journalistic integrity of this piece. However, I’m not completely surprised given the format of BAW (70% entertainment; 15% gossip; 10% sports; 5% quasi-serious news stories).

    I concur with those who comment on the sad state of affairs in some of the black churches. Some of our folks are “playing church”. However, that’s always occurred, and it’s not just the black churches. Booker T Washington mentioned his distain for certain “types” of so called “black clergy” in many of his writings.

    I think I see what the Minister was trying to do/say to men and women…ie, don’t take your spouse for granted, don’t let your self/appearance go to the dumps and then say to yourself that you don’t have to take care of yourself because you’re married or you’ve been together for so long (at least I think that’s what he’s greeting at). However, as we all know, ones decision to cheat comes down to a single thought, at a single moment, at a single point in time, in a given circumstance. I suspect what he’s trying to get across is, pay attention to the things that enable spouses to be drawn to going astray – assuming it can be done.

  17. randall on said:

    it’s all in the bible> no matter how strong, smart, powerful or their close relationship with god the man has, it’s ALWAYS the women’s fault. “it is the women you gave me , she gave me the fruit and i did eat”

    • Seriously on said:

      You left out, although Adam blamed Eve….Adam was punished just the same… which pretty much happened to all the men in the bible who blamed others and women..seem like this preacher is choosing to skip over that part, your choice, your consequence.

    • Ivan Cohen on said:

      Maybe Adam would have been better off single. As for children, when the need arose just pray to the almighty and the stork will deliver one.

      • VirilisAfricanum on said:

        Okay Mr. Cohen, we get it, you’re irreligious, or you’re not a Christian; next.

  18. VBucGreen on said:

    The Pastor should had used a better term and not only single out women. Some men and women are equal in adulterous affairs. The bible speak on adultery, if you cannot speak on it in church, where else? In addition, a women/man can give her/his all in the marriage and the spouse can still be a snake.

  19. I actually have two questions: When did the pastor say the race of the “hoes” and when did it become the wife’s responsibility to keep the husband faithful in the marriage. He should be faithful because he loves, honors, and respects God, his wife, and marriage.

  20. Nickie on said:

    reading this just made me think who wrote this story. if the pastor did not say BLACK WOMEN, where and why did the writer automatically assume the pastor was talking about black women only. their are so many women all colors that are and can be referred to as a hoe. no it’s not a good thing to call a woman overall. but I feel a certain way when people just assume and make an accusation that he was talking about black women.

  21. The man didn’t specify a race. Why should he apologize for telling the truth? There is more hell going on within the walls of the Church than it is out in the streets. I have seen it for myself.

  22. Not only are black women hores, the men are to, and white women are also, thats all in this country nowdays hores.not sure white men are hores.hes probally just calling it the way he see it, and hes probally not a male hore.folks are looking for money nowdays, saling themseves on the sly when there nothing more than undercover prostitutes and male hores.he has freedom of speech. Didnt bother me as a black female, cause I know who I am.

    • VirilisAfricanum on said:

      I see you showed up here faker. Do want us to believe with all of your blatantly obvious misspelled words, intentionally poor grammar and syntax, that you’re a black woman. When will you folks get it. Go troll on another website.

  23. Vernell on said:

    Yeah, I didn’t take his comment to mean black women at all.The fact is that there are people who could give a blip about your marriage. It’s so easy to be complacent and marriage life can become boring. Satan really is like a lion pacing to and fro seeking whom he can devour. Don’t be ignorant of the enemies devices.

  24. So, the author is admitting that when he hears the word “Hoes” he automatically thinks of black women.

    And then trying to put his thoughts in someone else’s head so he can accuse them of what he is guilty of.

  25. He didnt identify any race in the tweet, so the premise of this entire commentary by Mr. Cottman is deceptive. Maybe Mr. Cottman you should apologize for intentionally misleading commentary. Secondly, stop trying to sanitize EVERYTHING in life. So situations are just nasty and the severity of it needs to be communicated with words that are commensurate to that situation. Third, stop being a hypocrite. Have you ever cussed or said a bad word? Do you still do it? If so, chill and let the PASTOR help HIS people.

  26. Anne on said:

    The Pastor did not specify any race when he used the word”hoe”. Maybe he should have said whore. Unfortunately, there are such women and men, as well, that can fit the definition of a “hoe” or “whore”. If the word does not define the hearer, they should not be offended by it.

    • Seriously on said:

      Whoa, your comments are kinda sad, People with integrity and dignity do not have to accept nor should they vulgarity against anyone or harsh judgements. I guess your believe system is why so many black folks were lynched and murdered because as long as you were not black…so what. However there is a difference between secular and sacred. Jesus never ridiculed people nor used vulgarity. Come to think about Jesus was called all types of names and abused and ultimately killed for nothing but someone’s elses words. I guess that is why there are many passages in the bible about guarding your tongue, I would think any disciple of Christ, such as a pastor would definitely know better. I not insecure (whatever that means to you), but disrespectful and vulgar language is really a reflection of how ones feels about themselves, it is a window to their own spiritual self. Besides, maybe a husband infidelity is for the wife to leave an ungodly union…God moves people in and out of your life, to expose who is not for you. So perhaps it is not the devil and other women at all.. What the pastor forgot that truth as well. His word were uninformed and lacked honest contents and the name calling was juvenile at best.

  27. Maria on said:

    Well, I read the article and the term “Hoes” wasn’t race specific. It’s wrong regardless. But why is everybody always talking about what a black woman should do to keep her man? What about what the black man should do to keep his woman. Everywhere you look you hear about and see black men marrying everybody else but black women, So this Pastor need to shut the hell up…

  28. Paul on said:

    At no time anywhere did Pastor Andy refer to Black Women as “hoes”. It is the writer that made that statement. If anything this writer is putting words in Pastor Andy mouth that he never stated. The writer of this article is in effect stating that “hoes” is used exclusively in the black race domain. That is a fallacy. Pastor Andy has not done anything wrong. He is fighting for that wholeness and sanctity of marriage. That is all. Don’t make it out to be something it is not.

    • Seriously on said:

      He is not fighting for marriage or he is too uninformed to do a seminar. Infidelity is not the only reason that marriages fail in the first place. Nobody is that obtuse unless it is on purpose, what he is doing is telling weak minded women that it is their fault what their husband cheat. Everyone knows that is not true. Besides with all the issues of the Black males/men, you would think he would be fighting for them because they need it, desperately. He is pimping women because they comeback and pay…Preying on their weak minds, lonliness and desperation. Even their bitterness buy invoking vulgar language. Which is why so many of them was not offended and they should be.

  29. blackmomma on said:

    I am a black woman and I dont think he should apologize at all! For what?! Steak is steak and fish is fish. There shouldn’t be lenincy in the use of the word becuase it hurts your feelings. The only way it could hurt your feelings is if you are a adulterous, promisicus woman and/or you are insecure. If you are a man you are married to “hoe” you would also get offended or your woman rules your world. A woman has her role and a man has his. I body cant function with two heads and no legs! Alot churchs cater to the hoes and avoid stating what is truly in the bible ” to make people feel better about themselves”. If pastor would really bible study with the congregation than we would really see a change in many ways. I tried of hearing tv talk ” what about the men bs**t”, just 40 years ago we as a people had the lowest divorce rate and because we were not quick to adopt feminist, eurocentric thought patterns.He didn’t say black women were hoes, you the author took offense to what he said personally because it hit home to your insecurities! Wake up black folks!

    • Most of the time, people use this type of language around people who they perceive to be too unintelligent or too slow to understand language spoken in a civil and respectful and correct manner. Judging by how your post is written, the good pastor seems to have hit his targeted audience.

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