Today’s Seriously Ignorant News comes all the way from Australia, because Damon says “crime and stupid people are everywhere.” The 34-year-old accused car thief headed to court charged with theft of a vehicle and a suspended license. But, the car he drove to court in was also reported stolen. Both he and his female companion […]
A man was arrested after carjacking an elderly person. But, he wasn’t caught on his first attempt. On the first attempt he pushed an old man down and jumped in his car. It wasn’t until he was in that he realized he couldn’t drive it because it was a stick shift. Then he went to […]
A man went to a store and looked around for a while before he decided on some mangoes. When it came time to pay, he pulled out scissors on the clerk and ran away. Security chased him and he ended up jumping over a wall, which backfired. He actually jumped over the wall of a nudist […]
Damon has been thinking a lot about marriage and relationships. Earlier this morning he was thinking about how Counseling tends to be what breaks people up. But then he thought that maybe it’s that way because people don’t go to counseling until things are terrible. So, to avoid it all together he thinks men need […]
A Wisconsin man was arrested for purposely clogging toilets at his job. The man says he doesn’t know why he did it, but he did say that he, “just got a very strong urge” to do it. However, he knows what he did was wrong and he plans to pray for forgiveness everyday. He was […]
The governor of Illinois just signed a bill that will make Weed legal in Illinois, and expunge records of weed offences. Which Damon is very excited about because there was a “lil thing from 1982,” that he’d like off of his record. This legalization makes perfect sense to Damon, and he actually thinks weed should […]
Once again, our Seriously Ignorant News story comes out of Florida. A thief decided to rob a Wendy’s restaurant, but must have been hungry when he arrived. Before he took anything he fired up the grill and made himself some burgers, then he stole the safe and other items. The whole incident was caught on […]
A man visited a fast food restaurant and was unhappy with the amount of hash browns he received. He claims the white people at the restaurant got their full serving while he didn’t get enough. He was so upset that he’s suing and taking the establishment to court. Damon want’s to know why it’s so […]
Police received report of a kidnapping and when they began to investigate they brought in the FBI. The FBI realized the 24-year-old man faked his own kidnapping. Apparently he did it to get ransom money from a family member. Damon laughs and wonders what kind of family he has that would have “kidnapping money” just […]
Damon thinks, if Joe Biden is our only hope against Trump then we have no hope. He says Biden was a great “sidekick” for Obama and he was lovable but “it’s too late for Joe Biden to be president.” He’s not exactly young, he’s 76-years-old. At 76 you need to go “sit down somewhere” and […]
A Houston Texas homeowner watched on their Ring doorbell camera as woman broke into their home. She stole from them and then even played with the family dog, who Damon calls the dog “useless.” She even ripped the Ring off the wall and took it with her; but it continued to record. HEAD BACK TO […]
Father’s Day is Sunday so this is a Father’s Day edition of If You Don’t Know Now You Know. Fist up is Will Smith’s Just The 2 Of Us, in it he says “But I will test that butt when you cut outta line, trudat.” Damon knows for a fact that this song has to […]
