I know this, because I have said a man was intimidated by my being an attorney and I have been proven wrong!

Must Read: This Glass Phone Is A Clearly Not For The Clumsy

When I was in my early twenties, and didn’t know any better, I actually said out loud, in front of God and everybody else that I would not mind being the breadwinner and having a stay-at-home husband because I am a BOSS and bosses run everything, from the boardroom to their households. Man, I was dumb! While it was almost 100 percent accurate that, as women, we take on many roles as a working woman, wife, mother and care-giver, we are in fact many things to many people. We are beasts in getting a deal closed, we are top sellers in our companies, we can negotiate a pay raise and season a steak at the same time and therefore, we make all of the rules and any man who can’t appreciate the strides we make at work and the attitude that got us there, then he can be gone. Yup, I have said that a many a time.

In my first year in law school, one of my female professors shared with us how her husband had to talk her off the ledge of being over-the-top with her family. She stated that as a litigator by trade, she would come home and find herself cross examining her three year old about peanut butter and holding depositions with her husband about the most miniscule details in carpooling. She also shared that it was not helping out in her marriage and/or family life and she had to learn how to scale it down for the sake of her family.

Additionally, when I was in my twenties, a group of friends had a quarterly gathering called “Book Club” ®. It was about 10 of us, males and females, who would “read” a relationship book, come together to discuss it and most times learn and dispel advice given by the other sex. There were several times we, as working and successful professional women, would say (with a head and eye roll) that the reason some of the guys we dated didn’t work out was because “the man was intimidated by me and my career.” Let me tell you something, I had to learn that all these calls for independence from Destiny’s Child to Webbie serve a purpose on one hand, but it will leave you sitting on a couch alone with your fabulous trips, bags and salary on the other.

Am I saying you should not strive for greatness in your career? Absolutely not. Am I saying you should not be proud of all of your accomplishments and not make them known to others? Heck no. But what I am saying is that man, who you think was “intimidated” by your career, is not and was not. He was more than likely turned off by the hard nature upon which it was shoved into his face. This goes for us ladies who are “keeping company” and those who are raising families. Yes, we are successful and we should continue to be proud of that. However, ain’t nobody scared of you. At least the right one isn’t. So when he finds you, just smile. That’s all he really wants most of the time, not your resume and bio.

It was extremely challenging but sometimes when you don’t know something’s coming, you don’t have time to prepare for or to think, you just do. I had my parents here so they helped me adjust. The thing was, I had to put this child first. Everything and everyone has to revolve around him. The adjustment was grow up real fast. Mature real fast. That was the biggest thing – I had to grow up overnight.

There were some moments of fear in the beginning, taking on a human life. It wasn’t like I got a puppy. The moments when I cried weren’t “Omigod, I’m afraid.” I cried at the times when all mothers cry. Three o’clock in the morning, 5 o’clock in the morning. Every two hours when I had to feed him and I was exhausted. Not having the husband laying in the bed with me so he can get up and go get the baby. Times when I was feeding him and I’d fall asleep and he’d be sliding down my body.

The times when I cried were when do I sleep, when do I take a shower, when can I go get my nails done? I need somebody just to hold me. Those were the moments and then there were the moments of joy.

A young woman Kym mentored identified her to hospital officials as a person to care for the child she could not. Kym got a call and literally had an hour to decide if she wanted to take on a baby.

I believe it has all been ordained by God. My parents said you are 107 years old, your eggs are on strike, it is time for you to make a commitment to something.You’ve been engaged a few times, what you gonna do?

When God puts something in your lap, to feel honored that someone, even the child, would pick me as the mother, I think that was the decision. It was like getting a gift. It was like “Me, really?” [Before I had Joshua] I’d see people with kids and say “Whoo, better them than me! (Laughs).

I would say stuff like being a mother is hard, what is all this talk? Look at them, they’re struggling, ha, ha! I always said I wanted a baby but I came from a traditional family.I thought I’d get the husband first.Then I thought I can do in-vitro, I can do this or that. Always just moving too fast and not stopping to smell the roses. What a baby will do for you is make you stop and smell the roses in life.

I schedule time with my family and my daughter the same way I schedule doing business meetings. I try not to miss any of my daughter’s events. When I put a meeting with my business partner on the schedule, I put all my daughter’s basketball games on my schedule. I just don’t ever want her to feel that I was never there. So I try to go to everything. I don’t sleep a lot because I work and sometimes I’m up late doing things but I get up early every morning to take my daughter to school everyday. I just do what I’m supposed to do. I don’t want to miss those moments. If somebody else pcks her up from school, she’s like “Why didn’t you pick me up from school?” I try to never be away from home more than a few days at a time.

It can be challenging, but I definitely have a lot of help from my close friends and my family. But sometimes when you’re a single parent, you have to co-parent with someone. Whether your child’s father is in or out of the picture, you need to get a friend who’s also a single parent so you can switch off days. One of my girlfriends is a doctor now but when she was in medical school, certain weekends, she would come and get my daughter and my daughter and her daughter would play together and they would go places and do things together or I would go and get her daughter and take them places. So they were always occupied, always busy and they never felt like they were needing attention. They had all the attention in the world, so they didn’t miss as much.

Sometimes I feel guilty just because I hired somebody to work with me day to day to help Riley with homework and stuff like that. Some moms are able to do all those things like being the class mom and stuff like that. But I have to work and make things happen for my child. I’m a single mom so me and my daughter talk about things. She understands that this is Mommy’s business but all of these things allow you to do the fun stuff that you want to be able to do. And sometimes she’ll say to me you need to go to work because I want this (laughs). At first, Riley did not like our life being part of television but now she’s iike “I want to be on the show more.”

Mother to Aquil, 13, Diya 10, Nina 8, twins Lanaa and Ain, 5, and Deen, 3.

My biggest revelation about motherhood is that certainly I am a much more extraordinary person than I ever imagined I would be, because motherhood has pulled all the best qualities out of me. I’ve learned a lot about myself and I’ve moved past whatever potential I thought I had, into a person I just really didn’t see coming. Not to toot my own horn, but every level of strength that I thought I had, I’ve been twice as strong as that, every bit of patience I thought I had I’ve had, I’ve been three times as much patient as that, however creative I thought I could be, I’ve been two or three times more creative than that. The condition of motherhood has brought those things forth.

A hundred years ago if your kid made a mistake you could accept it. If the weren’t quite all that you had anticipated they would be, it wasn’t shameful. People expected their kids to be human beings, to make mistakes and to go astray because I think people took Biblical stories and Koranic stories to heart when people talked about the prodigal son or Cain and Abel.

They didn’t look at people to have to iive up to this crazy standard. When their kid failed or didn’t live up to expectation, it didn’t crush them or the kid. They didn’t give up on them. Nowadays expectations of our kids are so high because they have so many opportunities to do different things. We look at our children and expect them to not be human beings.

Then the pressure is put back on the mother that if you don’t raise this perfect human being, you’ve somehow failed as a mother. With me as a young mother, I just kind of figured out how to go with the flow. What I’ve learned about mothering in this competitive environment is probably not really giving a hot crap damn about what somebody else says about your mothering style. It’s about tailor making the environment to what works for you and your family and kinda screw everybody else.

1.    Clear away the clutter: Out with the old in and in with the new! Take some time to empty those boxes, shred those old papers and documents and organize your space. Give away those gently used items you’ve been meaning to get rid of. Utilize wall shelving to get items off of the floor or display keepsakes. Or simply rearranging your furniture can give a whole new perspective on your space.
2.    Lighting is key: Placing that floor or table lamp in just the right spot can make all the difference when trying to create a peaceful space. Place candles in various spaces to set the mood for relaxation. And for those hard-to-reach candle wicks, use a dry spaghetti to quickly light them.
3.    Bring the outdoors in: Greenery can add a natural touch to just about any space. Places vases on end tables and fill with flowers weekly to bring color to the room.
4.    Just add comfort: Add cozy to your space with big decorative pillows, a warm throw or blanket or a thick pile rug that feels good under your feet.
5.    Freshen up: Put the finishing touch on your new clean space with your favorite scent. Open the windows for 15-30 minutes for circulation then freshen the air with Febreze Air Effects.

For more organization tips and money-saving coupons, go to www.pgeveryday.com.

TOM JOYNER:  Before I start, Happy Mother’s Day to you and Miss Robinson.

MRS. OBAMA: Thank you so much, Tom.  Thank you so much. I will pass that along to Grandma.

Sybil: First Grandma.

Mrs. Obama: She is doing just fine.  She is doing her thing.  She is happy and healthy.  She gets out.  She has her little lunches.  She has got a little crew of ladies here that she will meet with.  So she is doing just fine.

Tom: She has got an old school jam session on Friday night?

Mrs. Obama:  Absolutely.  (Laughter.)

TJMS: The new book — “American Grown: The Story of the White House Kitchen Garden and Gardens Across America” — number one on the New York Times bestseller list.  Congratulations.

Mrs. Obama:  Thank you so much. It’s my very first book and I’m so proud of it.  We decided to write the book to tell the story of the White House kitchen garden — how it got started, why we started it.  It’s a book full of beautiful pictures, because my intent was that we would share the garden with the country and the world.  There are many people who don’t get a chance to visit Washington, come to the White House. But this is a way for people who are unable to come and see it in person to get a taste of what it’s all about, to see the beauty of it — to get some candid shots.

TJMS: It is very beautiful.

Mrs. Obama: But it’s also — we tell the story of other community gardens as well, all across the country.

Tom: Now, in some of these shots I noticed that Bo is posing with you.  And I was wondering if this was photoshopped, because if I remember that dog is kind of wild and I could just see a dog like Bo digging up all those rutabagas, the radishes.  (Laughter.)

Mrs. Obama: Actually, I think you misunderstand Bo. He is actually a very calm, peaceful dog.

TJMS: He calmed down?

Mrs. Obama: Well, he is an adult dog now. When you first saw him, he was a puppy.  And he is now four.  So he is really good with the garden.  He spends more time in the garden than me, because he actually goes out every day with the gardening team, the National Park Service people.  He is out there every day at work like he is one of the boys.

Tom: Is that right?

Mrs. Obama: He actually will not speak to me when he is with his fellas. He kind of looks over like, yo, mom, I’m working.  (Laughter.)  So he is very used to being around the garden. And he is really good.  He walks through the path. He doesn’t cut through the beds. He doesn’t dig up anything.

Tom: And your garden outfit is a little different from what I’m used to, but I’m from the country.

Mrs. Obama: But I am the First Lady.  (Laughter.)  I can’t just –

Tom:  You can’t put on the flop hat with the little visor and the gloves?  (Laughter.)

Images of summer evoke different things for different people.  Some think of lavish vacations.  Others think of enduring the scorching July heat.  But for all parents, summer begs the eternal, must-answer question, “What to do with the kids once school is out?”

For many moms, finding a good summer program is not an option.  Finding adequate childcare for younger children as well as engaging camps and programs for older children is essential in an economy where employers are rarely sympathetic to parental summer leave. Similarly many stay-at-home moms who may have the option of the kids remaining home all summer are looking for the same exact thing: finding the best way to engage school and homework-free children for three entire months.

Now up until this current year, I have always had that question answered completely by the 1st of March. I painstakingly research every camp, program and summer opportunity in advance; create a summer-long schedule for each of our three boys; cross-reference each of those schedules with our family calendar for vacations, obligations, birthdays, vacation bible school dates, etc.; create a master plan to make sure our summer runs smoothly and happily; mark the first day to register for each activity on my calendar; fill out forms and stand in lines (virtual and electronic); and proceed victoriously to April knowing that the 4^th quarter of the academic year has been planned and will be fearlessly executed.

This year – not so much!

Having recently moved, started a new job and just juggling an unusually busy time, I am behind. I feel like a parent shopping for toys on Christmas Eve. I know it’s late, but it’s gotta happen.

So, if you are like me and haven’t gotten all your summer planning done yet, this one’s for you!

Our Favorite Black Families

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According to reports, babies whose parents sucked their pacifiers clean were less likely to develop eczema, food allergies and asthma in comparison to those whose parents opted to clean their pacifiers with water.

Researchers from the University of Gothenburg in Sweden wrote,”We demonstrate that a common parental practice, sucking on the infant’s pacifier before it is given back to the infant, is associated with protection against early eczema development and asthma symptoms.”

The researchers studied 184 swedish infants.

While Kobe and his parents had reconciled, they are now estranged again as Kobe has filed a cease and desist against his mother and a New Jersey based auction house to keep his mother from selling his personal items. She has reportedly said the $450,000 advance is to purchase a new home.

Who really knows what’s going on here? Of course the internets are on fire with “fans” alleging that while his mother in law is sitting pretty, his mama’s in the poor house. I highly doubt that. Years ago, I went to the prom with Kobe Bryant. No, I wasn’t his date, singer Brandy was and I was with Brandy to write the story for the Philadelphia Daily News. The two, then both 18, were the epitome of a cute teenage couple, whispering and giggling to each other as we rode in a limo to Kobe’s parent’s house in an upper middle class Philadelphia suburb.

I remember a modest but cozy family home and a tight-knit family. I’d see Kobe’s tall, pretty older sisters, Shaya and Sharia, all the time out in Philly and at NBA All-Star Games. Since 2003, Sofia Urbieta Laine, Vanessa’s mother, has lived in a $2.5 million dollar mansion purchased by Bryant after her own tumultuous divorce. That house sold recently but not before Laine moved into another one.