TOM JOYNER : And now it’s time for the Celebrity Snitch, Huggy Lowdown. HUGGY!
HUGGY LOWDOWN: What’s the deal, Pickles? Is everything kosher?
TOM JOYNER : Yeah, everything is kosher!
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Tom Joyner.
TOM JOYNER : Huggy Lowdown.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Sybil Wilkes.
SYBIL WILKES : Happy Friday, Hug.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: And Jay Anthony Brown.
JAB: What up, Hug?
HUGGY LOWDOWN: The HNIC, the G double OD. And the OG with the GED in the VC air. Love Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, or as Jay likes to call it, three the hard way. What’s up TOM TJMS? T-G-I-F-F-U-I-T-M-F.
SYBIL WILKES : What?
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Thank God It’s Finally Friday Up In This Mofo. (LAUGHTER) Y’all let the Magic City Classic, and for those of y’all listening that don’t know what it is, it’s equivalent to the Super Bowl in Birmingham.
JAB: Yeah, it is.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Y’all talking about a good ass time with some good folks and some good groceries.
TOM JOYNER : Yes.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: I tell you what, you better not step your foot in the ham with no weak barbeque. Not at the Magic City Classic, they will ban your ass like Lance L. Armstrong. You know that.
JAB: Yes, that’s right.
HUGGY LOWDOWN : This is grown folk fun too, and the women ain’t trippin’ off no Bentleys and Benzs.
It’s all about the RV’s, ain’t it?
JAB: That’s right.
HUGGY LOWDOWN : I saw this one playa with an RV that was so big it took up a cul-de-sac. And don’t get me started on the liquor. If Jay’s nephew Bobby Brown was at the Magic City Classic, instead of drinking Courvoisier and Karaoke singing Jamming Juice and blaming it on the alcohol? He went and got his ass locked up in LA. See, he would’ve just been stumbling from RV to RV blending in with the rest of the Magic City crowd, and they wouldn’t even notice.
SYBIL WILKES : It’s true.
HUGGY LOWDOWN : But nope, he relapses off the reaslin, and that’s the reason he got re-arrested. Now Bobby Brown got so many DUI charges he get Christmas cards from the company that makes breathalyzers. He’s contender number one.
Contender number two, Sarah Palin. Yep, John McCain’s kryptonite, Glen Rice’s jumpoff, an Alaskan NBA groupie used the words ‘shucking and jabbing’ on her Facebook page criticizing the President. Really? The only time you get press is when you say something anti-Obama? How come you wasn’t this vocal when they asked you were shucking and jiving with Glen Rice? Nope. No comment from the near sighted strumptet, huh, Sybil?
SYBIL WILKES : No, sir.
HUGGY LOWDOWN : She’s nothing but a piece of Alaskan halibut. Contender number three, the Redskin’s defense. RG3 and the Redskins offense would lead the Giants on Sunday 23 to 20 with a minute twenty three left in the 4th quarter, a minute twenty three left. And boom Eli to Cruz we lose; 27 to 23.
Contender number four, Clint Eastwood. After the chair fiasco at the RNC, you give Clint Eastwood another chance? You’re giving his senile ass another chance? At first I thought it was a commercial for a dog diaper because dirty harry is full shiggity.
Contender number five, Los Angeles Lakers. Do you know the Los Angeles Lakers are the worst team in the NBA right now?
SYBIL WILKES : No.
HUGGY LOWDOWN : Yeah, they are zero and eight, y’all. But I know it’s only preseason, but the way the Lakers fans were acting when they got the Dwight baby head Howard and Steve Nash old ass. They thought they was going to win every god damn thing. But now they got Romnesia, don’t they?
Contender number six, Apple. Because this week Apple announced the iPad Mini. Now I’m getting tired of this, Tom. I mean what is it going to be next month? The iPad Micro? Then the iPad Music, smallchild, they’re getting smaller and smaller.
Contender number seven, Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, another Republican. First we had Ted legitimate rape Aiken now this Richard. Where Mourdock said that pregnancy from rape is something God intended. No, God intended for me to put your ass on my list for saying some dumb shigity like that.
Contender number eight, Mannequin Mitt. This week’s final debate Mannequin Mitt showed the country how he was qualified to play Simon Says. They think we repeat everything the President says like a Republican background singer. I have an announcement to make, Donald Trump, you are the BAMA OF THE WEEK, WEEK, WEEK. How you make an announcement asking the President to release his college record in his passport applications for $5 million dollars? How about you releasing the name of the planet you come from? You ET, you Extra Trump Testical. Donald Trump you are the Bama of the Week.