TOM JOYNER: And now it’s time for the Celebrity Snitch, Huggy Lowdown. HUGGY!
HUGGY LOWDOWN: What’s the deal, Pickles? Is everything kosher?
TOM JOYNER: Yeah, Huggy, everything is Kosher.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Tom Joyner.
TOM JOYNER: Huggy Lowdown.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Sybil Wilkes.
SYBIL WILKES: Happy Friday, Hug.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: And Jay Anthony Brown.
J. Anthony Brown: What up, Hug?
HUGGY LOWDOWN: The tan man whose pockets are full of grand. The Brown Fox full of knowledge. And the doggy who is fully of malarkey.
SYBIL WILKES: (Laugh) Malarkey.
JAB: (Laugh) Malarkey.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: What’s up, my friends?
TOM JOYNER: I love it.
SYBIL WILKES: Alright.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: I’m fired up and ready to Joe.
SYBIL WILKES: Ready to Joe.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: I’m riding with Biden. That VP debate was crazy. We got our swagger back, y’all. The democrats and my Nats.. Straight like that? Like Jason Wilk at bat, Joe Biden hit a home run. Old man Biden whooped that young boy Ryan’s ass last night.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: That was the democrat Shawshank Redemption.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Sybil, you thought it was a tie?
SW: Yeah, I did.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: That was a bunch of malarkey.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: The only tie I saw last night was Paul Ryan’s clip on tie.
SW: That’s funny.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Our old man Biden whooped that ass from the moment the moderator rang the bell, Joe toe to toe came out swinging. Sitting down, Sybil. And he stayed up all night.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Like he had a Red Bull, a 5 hour energy drink and a Viagra. I didn’t know if I was watching the VP debate or Beyond Scared Straight last night. Paul Ryan was looking at Joe Biden the way a deer look at a SUV. Joe Biden was Joe Jackson last night. Paul Ryan woke up this morning with an instrument in his hand he got whooped so bad.
TOM JOYNER: Wow.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: He got beat so bad Stacey Dash is voting democrat and Jimmy Walker is no longer dating white women that look like white men. At one point during the night I thought Joe was going to say, ‘you’re a lying mother.’ Jon Stewart will say I’m no expert but I’ve watched Maury Povich enough times to determine Lying Ryan was lying. You know, it’s just like Michael Jai Whites’s white cousin, in why did I get married, would say, you know what I’m saying, wouldn’t he lie?
TOM JOYNER: Yeah.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Lying Ryan was grunting.
SW: Lying Ryan.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: He was grunting all night. (Grunts) He was grunting more than Rick Ross and Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade. And how much water did Nemo drink last night? That fancy republican pelican would take a sip of water every time Joe Biden got in that ass. If that glass of water was a prepaid cellphone he’d be out of minutes right now. If we were playing a game of let’s take a shot when Ryan takes a sip we’d be tore up drank, headshot, shot, drank, Everybody will wake up this morning with a hangover. And it’s amazing how specific he was with everything but the Romney/Ryan agendas. But in Ryan’s defense he did say Mitt Romney was uniquely qualified. Did you hear that bull malarkey?
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Uniquely qualified? Paul Ryan you are uniquely qualified to be the Bama of the Week, week, week. Tom, I hope the next presidential debate, President Obama come out to the big payback by James Brown.
TOM JOYNER: Yeah.
SYBIL WILKES: We love it.
HUGGY LOWDOWN: Why don’t you play Quincy Jones Killer Joe for me?