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Since every human being with a beating heart ultimately wants to love and be loved, why are so many still on the search to find the love of their lives?

Obviously there are too many factors and variables to consider. So let’s focus on what may be preventing you from getting what you want and what you can do about it.

I come from the world of girlfriends with long lists about what we want in a man. We are very adamant about his stats: He must love God, Be Successful, Be funny, Sexy and Handsome. These are all great values and attributes to desire. It does also beg the question, are you giving as good as you want to receive; In other words do you meet your own criteria?

Beyond that, I wonder if by being so adamant about “the list”, are we spending more time closing the door than opening the door of our lives and hearts for the right one to walk in.

If you’re thinking that I’m expecting you to settle by posing these questions, you would be wrong. What I am saying is that even with the list and the high standard of expectations, in our finite wisdom, we only know what we know, but we don’t know what we don’t know. God with His sense of humor and infinite wisdom gets a big kick out of confounding our minds. Which means maybe He would bring somebody into your life that far exceeds what you though you wanted and needed. But it may not look like your list.

Is it possible that we limit the love we want by expecting it to come in the packaging that we have set in our minds? Here’s what I am challenging you to do both in love relationships and in life.

  1. Say Yes. Find reasons to say yes, and look for opportunities for why something can work instead of why it can’t. If you live in a place called ‘No’ then that’s what you’ll invite into your life, a bunch of no-no’s.
  1. Be Flexible. Flexibility as defined means to be capable of being willing to yield; pliable. Move away from how it must be and be flexible enough to receive what it can be. Be open to stretch, to flow; to discover new, different and changing requirements in order to reach your goals. Flexibility can take you in a new direction.
  1. Open Your Heart. Don’t be rigid. Success comes at different times, through various channels. It’s almost like doors number one and two in a game show where there are different prizes behind them. What you hoped for may not be behind the first door, but it may still be a welcome surprise. As things change, we must find new and innovative ways to go after what we want. To be rigid is to be stuck. Even if rigid people attain success, they are not as successful as they could be if they were open to the possibilities.

This Valentine’s Day, if you find yourself alone with your list, I would like to encourage you to Open Up. If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.

Whatever you do, don’t limit yourself. All of the possibilities are available. When you’re open to new people, places and things, then new people, places and things will open up to and for you.

Have faith in life, and most importantly in yourself. Free Yourself. You can do this!

Deya Direct, the Fly Life Diva, Go-to-Girlfriend Love & Life-Changer Coach, Speaker & Author produces media and messages that turn problems into purpose!

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