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Bronx-born Gerald Kelly has been the class clown since childhood. He used to get on his school’s PA and impersonate teachers, sometimes even calling fire drills to try to get out of school.

Though Kelly played football, basketball and boxed in high school, comedy was his true calling. Fortunately, it paid off for him. He’s appeared on all the comedy shows you can think of – and then some.

Def Comedy Jam, Comedy Central, Showtime at the Apollo, BET’s Comicview and Comedy Central. Kelly’s also released several DVD’s including Comedy In the Hood and his most recent Gerald Kelly on Broadway.

His motto: “Laughter is healing for the soul, and I have been blessed with that gift to bring some joy and some humor to the everyday situations that people go through.”

This morning, Kelly dropped in as a guest star on the Tom Joyner Morning Show to help welcome the TJMS crew. Here, in honor of the Tom Joyner Morning Show’s debut this week on New York radio station 103.9, are Kelly’s tips for survival in NYC.

How to Hail a Cab While Black: If you’re a Black or Spanish guy you have to get on the side of the opposite direction that you want to go. You stand on that side and he think you’re going into Manhattan. You get in there real polite; you say “Good morning! What weather we have here. Take me to Bed Stuy, do or die!’ Then you got him.

Navigating Times Square: It’s a new Times Square. I brought some kids down from the Bronx and they didn’t want to go home. You got the lights, it’s beautiful it’s video games – kids are like I don’t have a couch at home, might as well sit right here.

Walk Fast: A New Yorker will walk on you. I was on the train with my feet under my lap and this dude stepped on my feet.

Ordering Sweet Tea: You have to [ask for it]. Otherwise you’ll be driving down the street thinking you got you some sweet tea and it will be tart tea.

Carrying a Purse: Women all over the country can leave the house with something small but a purse here is like a suitcase. Women here, they gotta have baby wipes, no kids but baby wipes. Makeup, their protection they gotta have their Mace, so that’s a do.

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