Three years after her divorce from The Dream, Christina Milian is opening up the highs and lows of co-parenting. During an appearance on “Good Morning America” today, the actress-singer said it’s important for both parents to “take a second and breathe.”
“I feel like I’m in a good place, then all the better to just put it out there and hope that it can help someone else” she said of raising her daughter Violet with a man who cheated on her. “We all figure it out. Sometimes, you just got to take it, take the lesson, and learn, and know that this happened for a reason.”
She went on to say that your focus should always be on the child. “Have the best intentions. Pray on it. I think that communication will save you half the drama. You know, it makes things so much easier,” she shared. “And I think I learned that.”
The 32-year-old beauty, who is engaged to recorder producer Jas Prince, added, “I think it’s very important to take your time when introducing a new person into your child’s life.”
“You want to make sure this is going to work out so you’re not introducing them to a new person over and over again because you never know who is going to be the one,” she explained. “My motivation at the end of the day was making sure that my daughter had two parents that were in her life consistently, She’s a really smart girl and I think she has a healthy understanding of knowing that mommy and daddy are no longer together but we both love her.”
1. Communication is key. Truly work on trying to figure out a schedule that works for the two of you. Try to stick with it and if changes need to be made then talk to your partner. You can’t read each other’s mind. This will save you from a huge headache. Being combative or always on the defense is not going to help at all. So, try to chill out and be neutral and understanding of each other’s time. Your kids are not objects. Don’t use them to hurt one another or complicate each other’s lives. If you can make the change then great! If not, then be clear and communicate that and if anything find a way to be helpful in making the adjustment easier for the both of you. I know too many people in this situation who use their kids as a tool to get back at or frustrate their ex. And for what? Only to dislike each other more.
2. You don’t have to be estranged in order to prove you’re now divorced. It’s healthy for your kids to see their parents in the same setting. Granted you’re not technically together but you don’t have to pretend you hate each other. Kids are smart and they also have a beautiful heart. These moments can be very much what they need to fill that void of the ideal family. I think they will cherish these moments in the long run and will be helpful in their growth mentally.
3. If you don’t get along, don’t express your frustrations in front of your kids. No matter what age your child/children are they understand EVERYTHING!! LOL! I swear they do! LOL.. So don’t stress them out with your issues. Not only do they understand what’s going on, they remember everything. So if you’ve got a problem save the drama or catty gossip with your friends for another time when your kids are not around. It’s not healthy for them to hear it.