I won’t attend a church where the Senior Pastor disrespectfully refers to black women as “hoes.” That’s why I don’t embrace the message by Pastor Andy Thompson, founder of the World Overcomers Christian Church, in Durham, North Carolina.

Watch Pastor Thompson talk about how to approach relationships and marriage above.

Thompson, an African-American pastor who is trying to shake up his congregation, allegedly in the name of Jesus, recently instructed married women in his flock to “shine it up” so their husbands will remain faithful instead of letting the “hoes” they encounter lure them away.

Here’s what Thompson tweeted to his 10,000 member congregation: “Ladies if you want to be the only woman your man looks at Shine It Up! Don’t let the hoes he comes across out shine you.” So how is using the derogatory term “hoes” to characterize black women a Christian message? And what does this say about how Thomson views black women – and women in general? 

Thompson’s remarks are demeaning to black women and he should apologize from the pulpit on Sunday morning. “

We live in an extremely sexist society, in which women are constantly shamed. Words likes hoe, slut, thot, etc., are used to shame women’s sexuality or mere existence on a daily basis,” Taurean Brown wrote on the blog Black Sankofa. “Due to the sexist nature of this society, women are shamed for sexual promiscuity, while men are often praised and rewarded for it,” Brown wrote. “Many times women don’t even have to be ‘sexually promiscuous’ to be called a derogatory name.”

I don’t know Thompson but I question his compassion for women, his spiritual guidance and his methods of marriage counseling. I understand that Thompson is trying to preserve the institution of marriage and I agree with the concept of building a solid foundation for marriage. But calling black women “hoes” crosses the line. Brown suggested that Thompson should “humble himself” and apologize for the remark. But Thompson kept his rant alive by saying “some women are secretly evil whores” who don’t respect marriage and are only out to steal other women’s husbands.

A female friend pointed out to me that there are women in Thompson’s congregation who may actually agree with him because their husbands have strayed before, in part, because they were seduced by home-wrecking women in the church. These things do happen.

But during his video response, Thompson tried to clear up the controversy.

“I was in a marriage seminar. I was trying to help wives,” he said in his rebuttal to critics. “I was trying to help wives to save their marriage, to be successful in their marriage.” “Some may feel like there’s never any context where it’s okay for a pastor to call women hoes…you’ll have to forgive me,” he said. “Our goal and our aim is to help women.”

Thompson’s ill-advised choice of words reminds me of remarks made by Don Imus in 2007, when, during his then-program on MSNBC’s Imus in the Morning, he referred to the Rutgers University women’s basketball team, which is comprised of eight African-American and two white players, as “nappy-headed hoes.”

The black community was outraged by Imus’ racist remarks and there were national protests. Imus was taken off the air as a result of the controversy.

I’m not suggesting that there should be demonstrations against Thompson at his church, but as the Senior Pastor, Thompson needs to know that using the word “hoes” to refer to black women, regardless of his spiritual intentions, are demeaning and unacceptable. There is no place in the church for that kind of language – especially when it comes from a man of the cloth.

What do you think?  

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151 thoughts on “COMMENTARY: Should Pastor Apologize for Calling Black Women ‘Hoes’?

    • Ivan Cohen on said:

      Good for your aunt however you Miss Thing are going to get a visit from the cyber police for soliciting on a non-commercial website. The subpoena is currently being prepared.

  1. This matter is being blown completely out of proportion. As some of you have already pointed out, at no time did Pastor Thompson mention an ethnic group and it’s a shame that because he is a black pastor that the writer of the article automatically assumed he was talking about black women. What does that say about the writer’s thoughts about Black Women? Pastor Thompson’s congregation is made up of various ethnic groups (and no I am not a member). Should he have used the term ‘hoe’? Maybe not, however, he was speaking of a specific kind of woman and yes they exist (as do men of this sort). It is my understanding that this was a marriage seminar and he was speaking specifically to women and yes male pastors should do that. As a married man in a position of authority, he can speak to the kind of temptation out there and encourage the women to not allow anyone to come in and try to entice their spouse away (and just because he is speaking on the matter does not mean he himself was in the act of adultery). What we read was one statement made at a seminar; no one knows what he said to the men as the writer conveniently left that part out. Should he step down? Not at all! Should he apologize? Only if the people in that seminar or his congregation come to him and say they were offended. As a pastor who has to answer to God, it is his responsibility to speak truth and encourage Godly living and Godly marriage. Before any of you go digging in his life, making up stories about him and posting them, remember you will be destroying a ministry and a family with children that are old enough to read and understand all of your comments.

    • I would never follow a minister, teacher, guru, prophet, preacher or any other titled professional who is not intelligent enough to teach, preach, prophesize or counsel without resorting to profane gutter language to get his/her point across. I insist on being treated and spoken to with respect and dignity from anyone in my presence. I don’t even put myself in the company of peers who can’t address me in a civilized respectful manner. I have never trusted a man who uses derogatory names to describe women, girls or children. I don’t care how much of a Christian he may claim to be. It’s just my preference, but I simply don’t like being in the company of people who think the only language I understand is sewer.

      • James R. on said:

        This article is taken out of proportion, any Christian that is having a problem or disagreement with what the Pastor, has to say discuss it in his office are write him a letter. Not try and destroy his ministry. Proverbs6:19, states in its last verse: And one who sows discord among brethren. That word mention is not worth destroying the ministry, you also have Elders you can call upon in times of need.

      • I didn’t say anything about destroying his ministry. I said It’s not MY preference to taught by someone who speaks in this manner. I don’t think he’s any danger of losing his ministry because of my opinion.

  2. Lady D on said:

    I am a Durham resident and know that he has a lot of young married couples who make up a majority of his congregation. I used to look at him on TV and stopped many years ago when he talked about being a guest preacher at someone’s church. Apparently someone asked him to pray with a friend who was experiencing difficulties. His comment on TV was that “you have to be careful who you lay hands on….when the person approached me, I didn’t know if it was a man or woman.” I have heard that he spends a lot of time on homophobic campaigning (could he be another Eddie Long who led marches against gay and lesbians in Atlanta?). People need to be careful who they let lead them spiritually. As far as I know, Jesus didn’t scorn anyone. It seems that this young Pastor needs to do some soul searching about what and how he focuses on current day matters. What if a man’s woman has a body like Beyoncé and he still runs around and cheats on her — Does Pastor Andy believes a married woman is responsible for her husband if HE IS THE ‘HOE’. Please!!!!! More Christian people need to spend their time in the Bible and learning the word for themselves, rather than being led by authoritarian sexist men who seem to think they know EVERYTHING about women but don’t hold men accountable for their actions.

  3. Finally,a preacher tell the truth and call it as he see it,need more men’s in the church to tell it like it he only giving them a wake up call.

  4. Roberta on said:

    I think the word “hoes” could apply to any ethnic group of women unless specifically stated “black hoes.” Don’t get blindsided by the pastor’s sublime confession. He should apologize to the congregation and his wife for bringing his own indiscretion to the pulpit.

  5. jesse thomas on said:

    okay i wasn’t there nor did i hear this im just reading this for the first time i am a pastor and i honestly believe that all the women needs to be ministered to and if the woman is a hoe then what is the man,now do you remember that they brought a woman caught in the act of adultery and wanted to stone her but did you noticed that the man wasnt there hmmmmm i wonder why but jesus said you with out sin cast the first stone so the pastor cast a stone but be sure your sins will find you out no woman deserve to be called an whore and i am certain that he is dealing with something but my concern is what did he mean by shine it up I hope he is talking about walking in there true beauty but if he is talking about oral sex then he needs his behind whipped because 1 respect your wife if she do that for you then keep it in the room 2dont send a hidden message to other ladies letting them know you love that 3 respect real men real men are not concerned about the physical or the sensual but real men understand the essence of a woman and how do calling women hoes save a marriage if a man is a dog he will sniff and dig until he find a bone. to save marriages tell women to love themselves and trust their instincts and not to settle

  6. Carol on said:

    WHAT DO YOU CALL THE SO CALLED MEN WHO ARE OUT THERE WITH THESE SO CALLED HOES? IT IS NOT ALRIGHT FOR HUSBANDS TO HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN OTHER THAN THEIR WIVES!!!!!

  7. IanRousseault on said:

    No absolutely not, if some women behave like this, good for the pastor on calling them out. We need much more of this!!!!!

  8. mercy on said:

    What is the spiritual message? Lustful people as well as attention seekers are about the most aggravating people in society. If you have to pump yourself up with all kinds of foolishness just to simply stay faithful to the one you supposedly love…newsflash: MARRIAGE ISN’T FOR YOU. Stop ruining marriages good name and remain single and selfish and falsely believing everyone wants you or what you have. BTW, the man, according the article, said nothing about race.

  9. James R. on said:

    I have been watching Pastor. Andy Thompson, television broadcast for about (3) years, and enjoy his sermons, his character and morals is excellent. Question? why didn’t you speak to Pastor. Andy personally if you were offended by his words, or write him a letter. First of all most dictionaries still list a hoe as- a long handled tool with a blade, used for weeding. Hoe is a slang word made up by the black community, if he did not call you a hoe personally disregard it. Why try to destroy a good ministry that tries hard for his congregation to keep them informed in the Word.

  10. Jermaine on said:

    And what should those same women call a Black man who is still preaching a TOXIC message to his people? A message that was stolen from Africans,misinterpreted,re-mixed and regurgitated and then fed back to the people that it intended to enslave?

    • Seriously on said:

      Exactly! His message is the same slave owners preached to keep you in line, by devaluing your worth as men and women. To make you feel inferior and any women who believes she needs to outshine others to keep something and someone is a fool. BTW, for those saying he tweeted and, wasn’t a church service…..sadly just do not get it. It truly sad that in 2014 Black women demand so little for themselves.

      • James R. on said:

        Would a apology, really make you feel better. One word and most of you are ready to destroy his ministry. Look for the good in the message, not the bad. We all make mistakes every day. Which of you without sin cast the first stone.

  11. Pastor Andy is an excellent pastor. His words have been taken out of text. I enjoy his teachings because he is honest and speaks the truth.

  12. Shawn on said:

    The setting he explained was a marriage seminar (not church service) He briefly apologized as he explained how he was referencing what he was talking about. Does he have to make a long drawn out speech to be sincere? When you are passionate about a subject there are times raw & uncut gets the message across clearer.

    Now there are men and women who pursue after married people and married people who step out on their spouse…both are wrong. But he was speaking to the women at the time not the men. I am sure he addressed the men also but its the women who spoke on the toe stepping because we are emotional creatures.

    Point is act lady like, take pride in yourself, please your husband, and be aware. The thief (hoe) comes to steal, kill, & destroy (marriages).

    • Seriously on said:

      Really, I think that you forgot living with integrity and having dignity. I do not know your meaning of acting like a lady? Because it certainly does not include the name calling it truly is low brow. And no it is not the devil or another woman that cause a man to stray from his marriage it just him. Any women who believe everyone except her husband is responsible for infidelity, well it weak mind at best..low–self esteem and self-hatred at worse. And boy does this minister knows it. That is the truly sad thing…

      • James R. on said:

        No Apology, you making a mountain out of a mole hill. His sermon were to help his congregation, not to be spread all over the universe. Pastor. stay strong you done nothing wrong. I have like your ways of teaching from the beginning. Don’t be discouraged, but keep the faith, do not bow down to baal.

  13. I don’t feel that Pastor Andy was talking specifically about black women when he used the term “hoes”, but I do feel that he should apologize. It is never ok to call a woman a hoe. Just like it wouldn’t be ok for him to tell men to step their game up so their wives won’t be distracted by “niggas”. Its unacceptable and irresponsible for him to speak that way. I have been a resident of Durham for 15 years and I have always felt that his sermons focus too much on worldly life. He mainly speaks on sex, infidelity and going to the club. But I guess that’s why his church has swollen in membership over the past 10 years.

    • Bina on said:

      That’s awful to hear what he focuses on for this sermons, thanks for sharing Jon!

      It’s truly a different breed of pastors these days. Instead of focusing on the strict teachings of leading a Christian life, they’re focusing on popular topics among the congregation.

      Also, Pastor Andy: good strategy on your tweet toward women: Make them self conscious and fearful of these non-existent “hoes” trying to steal their husbands all the time so they’ll keep coming back to you on advice and attending your women conferences about how to “keep” their men.

      After all, if you focused on the “root” of the problem (immoral, hoe-ish men), that wouldn’t be very popular among the men, would it? They wouldn’t attend those self-help seminars like the women do, would they?

  14. Bishop Dennis on said:

    He never called a color or race, so how do you draw the conclusion that it’s geared towards black women? Black men are dating way outside of their race. And as as he should step down, why? All he did was say something that was unpopular. What about the members that’s doing things unpopular? Negative people always see everything negative. Women call each other hoe’s buy records with rap artists calling them hoe’s and will call their own self hoe’s. And the preacher wrong for saying it and the Bible call lose woman a hoe, (harlot)

  15. Bina on said:

    Uh, can the pastor take his own advice? His wife is stunning. I’m looking at him thinking, dang, can’t you ‘shine it up’ and hit the gym? Those male hoes in your church probably hit on her ALL THE TIME. “You better shine it up Andy, don’t let those hoes outshine you!”

  16. The pastor said …………..Don’t let the hoes he comes across out shine you.” Why does the writer assume he is talking about black women? I think he was talking about women in general. IMO this is not one of the times to make it racial. The questions should be why did he only make it the wife’s responsibility to keep the husband faithful.

  17. Whores have been around since the beginning of time. Our ears are not virgins, as we scramble to find shelter to protect our ears. Some of our homes are infested with whores. There are whores in our families, on our jobs, in our churches, Hollywood! They are everywhere! Why should we be upset because the Pastor made reference to the word. I would have found it more disturbing if he called out a couple of members in his congregation and started calling them whores. At least he had the decency to talk about life issues in marriages in front of his congregation. I am quite sure that plenty of his members have dealt with a whore’s interference in their marriages and relationships. You will never be able to rid yourselves of a whore – man or woman!

  18. As a single woman tha has been in the church for years never seen a single woman go after a married man ! I have seen married men go after single woman ! The church members blame the woman not the married men so tired of these people that feel they are qaulified to tell a woman how to get a man , keep a man while these so called christian men lust after woman in and out of the church but thats ok ? Pastor Andy should counsult the men in his flock pray they loses their lust full
    nature instead of telling women to shine themselves up !

    • Dawn on said:

      Agreed Pamela! It’s quite an epidemic.

      Since lust is a cardinal sin, and we all know men in the church who have hit on unavailable women (or aren’t available themselves), all these male pastors need to take this sinful epidemic seriously and try to fix these men through prayer and counseling. Stop focusing on us women. We’re obviously NOT the problem here.

      Men have been given a “pass” far too long by men like Andy. “The pretty ‘shiny’ women made me cheat.” Yeah right.

      Has Andy cheated on his wife? Was his excuse to her that she wasn’t shiny enough? Only way I can see him actually believing the words that came out of his mouth is if he used the excuse himself.

  19. komjj14 on said:

    It takes one to know one. (I don’t know what type of “pastor” he is … but he is doing the world a severe injustice. How did he enter into this world, by FedEx?! No, a Black woman birthed him. How pathetic he is!)

  20. Dawn on said:

    Wait, but where all these “hoes” at church? 99% of the stories I hear are from women sharing how committed men are trying to hit on them.

    His message to his church members should be more about married women avoiding all the male “vultures” in the church trying to get them to cheat on their husband. “Husbands, you better shine it up, before all these ‘shiny’ hoes steal your wife!”

    I mean, seriously, can anyone give me one real life example where a woman aggressively pursued a married man at church? Anyone know just one? On the other side, anyone have any stories where a committed woman was aggressively pursued by a man? I’ve got several. Seems like the warning should be toward the husbands about all the hoes hitting on their wife.

    • Seriously on said:

      Good read Dawn, Besides if this pastor of crap want to bring on an issue..He could start with Black men, since they are the head (so he claims is other sermons) What’s up with all these single moms, non-support paying babies, drug dealing, gangs, black on black crimes that have decimated our communities and have basically committed a genocide against their own people. Killing their own children with ignorance and indifference.

    • What about the shiny ones the preacher forsakes his wife for? I’d be willing to bet the farm Pastor Shiny has personal knowledge on that subject. That’s why he’s crowing so loud.

      • Bina on said:

        Agreed! It’s obvious he’s cheated. How does a pastor live with himself after being unfaithful? Blames it on the women. Wife – You weren’t shiny enough. Other Women – You were too shiny.

        Real men of God would never stray from their wives. Period.

  21. Joe Frazier on said:

    He said it right and no need to apologize . Sometimes the truth hurts and a woman doesn’t go after a married man only a woman that has no self respect for herself . He never said Black women are hoes and suggested keeping yourself up instead of letting yourself go .

  22. Sanaa on said:

    If it was a marriage seminar and he was speaking to wives, then why would he be speaking about husbands who need to control their urges and be faithful? Wouldn’t that part be reserved for when he’s speaking to the husbands? Second, did he call black women hoes? No. He didn’t specify any nationality. He referred to women who behave a certain way. Some who go out of their way to get a man to stray from home. The word may very well be offensive to some, but these women do exist. What should he have called them instead? In this super sensitive society no one ever wants to call things what they are. Stop it. Thank you Pastor Andy for continuing not to sugar coat your message. I’ve never been a member of World Overcomers but I’ve always been a fan of the frank messages being taught. No more babying the Christians.

    • There’s a huge difference between frank and vulgar. Someone who is supposed to be intelligent enough to minister to a group of people regarding correct behavior should be able to deliver the message using respectful language instead resorting to street gutter vocabulary. But from the language used in his message to his female parishioners, I’m inclined to think he may not be that intelligent.

      • Seriously on said:

        Exactly Kay!, That language is very offensive and in what suppose to be the house of the Lord, Jesus warns about the tongue. This man is very ignorant and he use of that word is very telling how he really feels about women in general.

  23. Seriously on said:

    I think he meant women in general, however his message in juvenile as best and as a pastor totally ignorant of the word of Christ. Married women and men do not have to shine their selves up. Whatever that means? In the eyes of God men and women will be judged equally for their sins and transgression and no man or woman has be tied to an ungodly person through marriage. So the message should have been the consequences of sin should have been his message, after all the devil or the whore made me do it, will not save your soul or you into entering heaven. So what is his point? After all when God kicked out the devil from the garden of Eden, God also kicked out 1/3 of the angels who supported Satan….I guess the devil made me do it defense did not work then either. What a shame people are so easily led by men and fake prophets…after all you were warned of them as well.

    BTW, no one needs to read recovering whore book, what sin is greater than the other? He doesn’t have to apologize but if women had any self-respect they would not go to his church, after all that is where they get the bulk of their money. He will switch it then

    • Sanaa on said:

      Just out of curiosity, why would ‘self respecting women’ be offended by the pastor referring to hoes? It seems like the hoes should be offended. And even then, how can a hoe be mad when they’re called a hoe? It wasn’t a blanket statement that was made. He referred to a specific group of women.

      • Seriously on said:

        I think it is a sad state of affairs, when people like you and some others on here, really believe “self-respecting women” should not be offended by vulgar language and because of self-hatred, low self esteem and the neverending backstabbing women seem to do to each other it okay to use vulgar language against them or people you feel is less than self-respecting.. You really believe vulgarity has a place in the church house. That is truly what is vulgar the people who accept it as the “new normal”. Self-respect btw respect others, how you treat and accept others is truly a reflection of how you feel about yourself. That is where the self-hatred, low self esteem and catty.

  24. I suggest the “Right Rev.” take a look at the real problem. The person (male or female) who CHOOSES to break their vows. Infidelity isn’t about Ho’s approaching married men or wives who aren’t “Shiny” enough. His message is all wrong and he needs to apologize for his message and his mindset.

  25. Jazzmine on said:

    As a woman of the clergy, I’m shocked that in this day and age a man of God would use such terminolgy from the pulpit to refer to women. Also the fact that he made it seem as though this is the reason or the woman is to blame for cheating and that is not so. Cheating is a selfish act and a person (man or woman)who can break their vows to God and their spouse has an issue within themselves. Yes the congregation as well as the public is due an apology for this ridiculous statement!

  26. Jacquelynn4 on said:

    Wow, going for sensationalism are you, Cottman? Whatever else the “pastor” (and I use this term loosely) said, he certainly didn’t specifically call BLACK women whores. Get your facts straight before you go on ad nauseam.

  27. Ask Manswers Monday on said:

    Well either way it got the attention of the flock. Sometimes you have to open up your message with some unfavorable words to get the attention of the disconnected.

  28. Ask Manswers Monday on said:

    I don’t think he should stepdown at all Eddie. Actually I think more preachers should open up and discuss this matter. We are speaking of husband and wives not those sleeping together.
    With the dicorce rate the way it is and the infidelity rates increasing because of selfishness on both parts. Why isn’t this being discussed at the one place people go to get married?

  29. I won’t attend a church where the Senior Pastor disrespectfully refers to black women as “hoes.” This happen to me were the pastor was talking about women like dogs calling them Jezebel and reminding us of Eves’s sin etc and the women were shouting and talking in tongue. which puzzled me didn’t they women hear what he was saying and why were they all of the sudden fill with joy and shouting as though this is a good thing. Realized they were deaf. This wasn’t the first time have heard this kind of talk. Black men are always reminding women of this and Jezebel is why they can’t trust us.

  30. His advice is misguided. Lust is a cardinal sin. So his advice should really be to Christian husbands to not be tempted or lustful toward other women besides your wife, and – if you can’t control yourself around even the “shiniest objects” – then you need to go pray about why you’re a crappy adult man with so little self control, and Pastor can tell them, “Come see me for counseling so we can fix you versus ‘shine up’ your wife.”

    The fact that the pastor feels men have so little self control makes me believe he has difficulty keeping it “in his pants.” I mean, who says believe something like what he said?

    I mean he’s basically saying, “Women, be threatened by ‘shinier’ women than you because it’s your fault if he strays because you weren’t shiny enough?”

  31. Number one, Thompson’s remark is demeaning to ALL women, not just AA women. He didn’t use the term to characterize black women. He used it to characterize women period. Nowhere did I read where he said “black hoes”. Second, why, if Don Imus was fired for calling women hoes, why does the good reverend not deserve the same punishment? Because Imus is white and he is black? Is it any less degrading to be called a hoe by a white person than it is a black person? It sounds to me like Reverend Andy is speaking from a place that he knows intimately. I wouldn’t be surprised if the “hoes” he is referring to comes forward in the future to explain his attitude toward women who go after married men.

  32. I would encourage each of you to take the time to read the book, “Recovering From Hoe Addiction, Whores In Recovery” and see the pastor, the church and society as a whole.

    We walk amongst whores daily in their secrecy.

    The secrecy should offend us more so than the word itself.

  33. Timekeeeper on said:

    This entire conversation has turned into a battle of the sexes. The only one who enjoys that is our Ultmate Enemy ( and those who like to point fingers.

  34. I believe Pastor possibly selected a poor choice for words but to frank he is correct in what he is saying…..I don’t believe he was referring to any one race of people everyone know a hoe she isn’t always black. If the leader had said ladies shine it up or some other hoe will take your man then you could argue that he called the members of his congregation hoe’s and if they are all black then yes he would be calling black women hoes

  35. I got in on the end of this conversation on the radio and after reading the “commentary” I would like to know more about what he (the pastor) was talking about. I do feel that he (the pastor) should have included the husband as well in the “Shine it up!” conversation. Any woman that felt like they were insulted at his saying “hoes” may need to look deep inside themselves. That is like a group of women walk and someone yells, “Hey Whore!” and one of the women turn around and gets offended then that is who he was talking about. If it doesn’t pertain to you don’t pick up fight.

    • No apology needed! No better place to speak the truth. If, the shoe fit wear it. I don’t see where he mention a color. Perhaps, one should read, “Recovering From Hoe Addiction, Whores In Recovery” by Irene Booker

  36. P. Foreman on said:

    Especially for today’s generation (younger than 50 or even 40), it seems the stronger the language regardless of who uses it, the point gets across better, clearer for sureer as it’s in the current generation’s language. If the pastor had used say ‘Jezebel”, would there be “a clutching of the pearls”?

    • Demp109 on said:

      I agree with you P. Foreman. Especially the point about “clutching the pearls”! I have always hated pearls!!!!

  37. Mike on said:

    The pastor did not mention black women in this so the author truly needs to check his mindset if he felt the need to interject race into it.

    The pastor was breaking it down into modern day vernacular to reach people and make an impact. The Bible mentions “harlots” (based on the version) but saying that to a younger generation and they may not know what a harlot is so it would be lost. The Bible even mentions whoremongers so would everyone would have been ok with him saying that or whores? If he reached someone and brings someone to Christ by being real without being just worldly and obscene then more power to him.

  38. Denise on said:

    Ji need more information. As much as his choice of words is suspect, I’m more concerned with the message. I want to know if he was fair in his instructions and also gave the men the same advice- “to shine it up”? A marriage takes two and to put the responsibility on the woman to maintain it is sexist and disrespectful to the woman and the meaning and institution of marriage.

  39. hayahways on said:

    It is time for The Church to BE The Church in this world and expose the forces that seek to steal, kill and destroy and provide tools that people must employ to overcome them. I’m confident that when Pastor Thompson used the word, “hoe,” the context was clear to most who were present. “Hoe” is not a person, but a spirit – an attitude, a perspective – that intends to undermine marriage by inserting suspicion and estrangement in the midst of it by offering the temptation of false promises. Let’s grow up, shall we?

  40. I’m deeply concerned by your commentary. I’m concerned that you have made a commentary that’s four paragraphs long about a statement made, while giving no context. What was he saying, to whom was he speaking, what specifically was he speaking about? Was he talking about just black women as your “commentary” suggests or all women? Was he talking about cheating women, or faithful women. I believe in our current society, with the current religious and social climate we live in irresponsible commentary is fodder for those already cynical about the church. As a black man I will ride with you all day about defending our women from stereo types, but you haven’t given us enough to go on that ride with you Mr. Cottman.

  41. Though I’m a man, I feel that women of all races are always getting all the blame for men cheating. I’m concerned with this pastor’s message. Overall, he is saying that the men in his church (and other followers) are weak and somehow not in control of their behavior, and the blame is only on their wives and mistresses. Now, that is something he needs to think about. Married men who cheat are to blame for cheating, not the mistress and definitely not their wives. Pastor (and I use the term loosely) Thompson needs to work on his low-key misogyny and stop enabling and justifying married men who cheat.

    • Tammy on said:

      Ron, if that mistresss know that man is MARRIED, she is just as GUILTY as the married man. the ten commandments talks about “Thy should not commit adultry” as well as “Thy shall NOT covent thy neighbors wife” which means to take something that belongs to someone’s else which applys to the mistress. As for the Pastor, I do not see anything he said wrong (and I do not think it was limited to black women); however, I do think he needs to talk about the cheating men. Some women do “keep it shine” and the man still cheat. I think this issues is more broad than what was covered but what was covered still rings true.

  42. 1.) No where in his statement did he say “black women”. 2.) Why is he helping WIVES save their marriage? A healthy marriage is maintained by both spouses. That statement implies the husband is always at fault and can’t help himself. 3.) The very nature of infidelity is selfishness. Whether a habitual cheater, a home wrecker, or the misguided, cheating is an attempt to satisfy a genuine need that is being met in a selfish way. This pastor need to have a seat.

  43. t. Saunders on said:

    I don’t think he should step down, sometimes the truth hurts. He was trying to help married women recognize the issues affecting or could affect their marriage.
    I wish I had know this before I dealt with my ex husband cheating.

  44. As a Christian…. And a Christian blogger…. I have very mixed feelings about this article. He never called BLACK WOMEN hoes, that term hoes was addressed to home wrecking women of any nationality that will sleep with a married man for pure pleasure. His choice of words could have been different, but hey. It is what it is!!

    • Ask Manswers Monday on said:

      I agree with you in saying that he never called any particular group hoes. What he was simply saying is that to not leave your front door open to have someone come in and steal your man.
      Now this should have been addressed to both the husband and wife but I guess at that time it was directed to the women only.

    • Seriously on said:

      You really consider yourself a Christian, yet you embrace vulgarity so easily and you speak of women sleeping with man for pleasure…..really? Because if she is going to hell, so is your husband….so what is the point? You are a living example of why sins of the spirit are more soul condemning than sins of the flesh. Although you probably will never understand what I am saying…You also gave no condemnation of using such language in the House of the Lord either, you were to busy condeming yourself, excuse me I meant other women

      • Seriously, thank you for your comment/reply. I really appreciate your opinion and your viewpoints. So thank you!!! Thus being said, to embrace something means to accept it, if I’m not mistaken, I said that a different choice of word would have been a better option. And if I’m not mistaken, women that engage in promiscuous behavior, do it for pleasure or attention, whatever the case may be, the woman will get pleasure from it, not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally…. Also, this pastor DID NOT use the term hoe in the House of the Lord, he TWEETED his statement. And just for the record, I have no Heaven nor hell to condemn ANYONE to, just as no-one, other than the Most High God has a Heaven or hell to condemn me to. Thank you again, and have a wonderful evening!!

  45. “INTENT vs IMPACT” as I can understand his “INTENT” but not his delivery, words of this sort are not acceptable to any individual or individuals, he should not have used such language, especially coming from the “PULPIT” an apology is definitely needed.

  46. Kimberly on said:

    If I am correct He did nto say “BLACK WOMEN” that is yoru statement. His statement which is documented in your commentary says, “Here’s what Thompson tweeted to his 10,000 member congregation: “Ladies if you want to be the only woman your man looks at Shine It Up! Don’t let the hoes he comes across out shine you.” Where did you get BLACK WOMEN out of this. I think you may need to go back and read what you wrote again.

    • I said it. on said:

      This is a desperate attempt at journalism, at best. BAW will allow anything to go on to get the people going and incite comments from racist trolls. I give this half-baked article to mid-afternoon before it lures the crazed bigots out to tell us how we need to do better.

  47. I said it. on said:

    Shut up already. This man did not say black women. The author did. We don’t have to interject ourselves into every statement.

  48. eddie ross on said:

    Yes he should apologize and step down. The bible says, A TREE IS KNOWN BY IT’S FRUIT. and this is definitely not the way a shepherd should address God’s children.

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