Stop Trying To Make Single Women Feel Better

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  • lonelywoman

    I have six brothers, all younger than yours truly.  They’re just good ole fashioned, hardworking, loving boys.  And I have to say, they make it pretty hard on a single girl, especially when there seems to be less and less men like them to choose from these days.

    While I hope to meet Mr. Right-for-me, I love being me, hanging with me, shopping for me, and giving all of me to my son.  Yes, I do realize that my son won’t always be under my thumb, perhaps not even in the same city, but while I have him so near, I’m enjoying every minute of it.  But one day I do hope my son and I will be able to share happily ever after with Mr. Right-for-me.

    I don’t think about being married all the time, but when I do, I often wonder why it seemed much easier to meet someone prior to salvation than it does now.  My lifestyle has changed, but not tremendously; okay so I don’t go to clubs anymore.  I never met guys I wanted to date in the club anyway.  I usually met the few I found interest in, the usual ways; grocery stores, book stores, work, through friends, etc.  I also have to remind myself that even pre-salvation, I wasn’t usually interested in a lasting relationship, but instant gratification, if you know what I mean; some of those relationships lasted and some did not.  Obviously, in my current state instant gratification is no longer an option, nor do I wish to defile my body in such a way, but I still find myself asking, what happened?

    Many will read this, especially my “deep and spiritual” brothers and sisters, and say:

    • You’re in preparation
    • There are still some issues you haven’t resolved (financial, mental, spiritual, the usual)
    • You’re a gem.  It takes time to prepare a man for a woman like you
    • Maybe you don’t get out enough
    • Perhaps you aren’t giving off the right signals (not friendly enough, nice enough, walk too fast)
    • Maybe it’s just not your time

    Okay, if you’re saved you’ve heard all of the above.  For the unsaved, I have many more and while in some cases the above may be true, the fact that other precious gems like Betty, Sue and Mary are also in preparation, still have unresolved issues and don’t get out very much at all; and still seem to be hitting it off pretty well in the dating arena, while others are not, so please, no more excuses.  As well intentioned as they are, they are not needed and no longer comforting to those who have heard it 101 times.  By the way, Betty, Sue and Mary represent women from all walks of life.  They are tall, skinny; fat or ugly; with child, without; can and can’t cook. Now what?  And yes, the relationships are working out pretty well.

    I bring this issue up because many times I think we focus on the wrong thing when it comes to singles.  We’re always trying to make it better.  In fact, I have found myself laying out the same bullet points to friends who come to me for advice (as if I have no desire to be married one day).  But herein lies the difference between me and a few of my girls…

    I am content.  I am content with Christ, without a man, without a warm body lying next to me at night, without a shoulder to cry on, without a kiss, a hug, a passionate roll in the hay…I’m content just loving Lisa.

    “I have learned to be quite content whatever my circumstances…”  Paul- Philippians 4:11 (Read The Message Bible here)

    Stop Complaining And Check Your Motives

    Forgotten Where You Come From?

    Why Aren’t You Fearless?

    Though The Flood Waters Rise, I Am Greatful

    Three Reasons I Love Dating Christians

    Originally seen on http://elev8.com/

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