Valentine’s Day will be here in less than a week. That means Cupid is out and about doing drive-by love connections on people worldwide. It also means that your significant other is expecting some sort of token of appreciation for all the BS they put up with throughout the year. And for what it’s worth, if you cause more grief than goodness in your so-called relationship, the least you can do is make it up to them come February 14th.
Though Valentine’s Day is traditionally recognized as a lady-based “holiday,” men deserve the same amount of praise and gift-giving as the women. We like to be wined and dined (and sixty-nined) as much as they do. Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to make up for giving your guy a hard time all year, so why not do so in a way that he’ll understand and appreciate?
Ladies, if you need help picking the right Valentine’s Day gift, check out these five Valentines Day gifts that any man would think are awesome.
Pole Dancing Lessons
It’s no secret that dudes love strippers. Seriously, dudes love strippers like women love matching panties and bra sets. If your boyfriend/husband/sugar daddy spends a sizable chunk of his free time at a strip club, best believe he’s not there for the award-winning hot wings. More like for the breasts and thighs, but that’s beside the point.
Unless you’re willing to drop a couple of paychecks on plastic surgery, chances are you won’t ever look like a dancer. It appears that a lot of so-called strippers aren’t all that attractive anyway, so that may work in your favor. But…just because you don’t look like an exotic dancer doesn’t mean that you can’t dance like one. And where else can you learn to move like a pole technician than in a pole dancing class? The snake charmer moves you’ll undoubtedly pick up in a pole dancing class will have effects lasting far beyond the media-driven, mass consumer consumption pseudo-holiday known as Valentine’s Day. Nothing says “I love you” like learning how to professionally twerk for your boo. You can even take those moves past the pole to the bed as long as you understand that’s how babies are made.
Year Subscription To Porn Site Of His Choice
Let’s be real, here. Porn is a part of the human experience, whether you like it or not. It has evolved over the years and thanks to the Internet, it’s now virtually unavoidable. It’s nothing like back in the 1980s when acquiring pornography meant going through your dad’s top drawer or squinting through the scrambled pictures of nipples/elbows on Cinemax After Dark. In 2014, it’s merely a few button swipes away. And though many woman perceive porn to be merely a step away from watching live strippers, it can actually be a helpful tool in sustaining a long-term relationship.
Without giving a percentage, let’s just say that most guys watch porn, and once you embrace that fact you can use it to your advantage. Porn will excite him when you can’t. And unlike the chicks at the strip club, he won’t get hypnotized by glitter-y cleavage and Lavender-scented twerkathons through a video screen. Hell, he may even pick up a few maneuvers and bring them over to your side of the bed more often instead of his side chicks and babymommas.