Like many of you, I had the pleasure of seeing the movie “The Best Man Holiday”. It made me laugh, it made me cry and it made me think about how I handle life’s ups and downs.
In truth, you can only really tell if you have faith when your life is challenged. When that happens, I ask you, as that movie prompted us, will you still believe? Will you still trust God?
“As a man thinketh, so is he”
– Proverbs 23:7
As we enter into the holiday season, for many it will not be a season of cheer. But regardless of your circumstances, I submit that how you think and feel about this season is only a matter of perspective.
Consider the story of the chained elephant, where this huge creature was held in place by a chain around one leg attached to a stake in the ground. Why doesn’t this giant animal simply tear the stake out of the ground or break the chain? Because as a baby elephant, he tried and tried to break free, but soon learned that it was futile, so he gave up. It is now in his head that he cannot get free, that being chained is his destiny. Although the full-grown elephant could easily break free, he doesn’t, because he doesn’t believe that he can. His mind has been trained to believe that when he is chained, he can’t get away.
And so it is with the human mind and limiting beliefs. What does this mean? It means that if you think negatively, you’ll get negative results, and if you believe you are not capable of achieving a certain result, then your mind will prove you right! The only conclusion that makes sense, then, is this: If you believe you deserve something better, think something better. And that, quite simply, is the essence of how the change process begins: to replace limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs.
Have you ever met someone who has been locked up in prison for a long time? Sometimes when they get free and come back into society, it is overwhelming. As much as they wanted to get out of jail, there is a sense of safety there. There’s a routine of when to get up, eat, go to sleep and more. They are confined in a small space, and there is security in more ways than one.
It may sound strange, but it is human nature to feel a sense of safety when you know what to expect. You may not like being in jail, being at your job and even being in your abusive relationship. But you stay or go back because it’s easier for you to handle the known versus the unknown.
That’s why you can free an animal – or a human being – physically, and unless there is a mindset change, unless they’ve evolved, are willing to step out on faith and flow in the unknown, run in the pasture of no walls or limitations, they will never be totally free.
How and what we think determines what holds us back or pushes us forward. If you think you can’t, then you can’t. Or be honest: Maybe you really don’t want to. Whatever the truth is, that’s what you need to own. Because when your mind is free, regardless of your circumstances, no one can truly hold you back.
How does what’s going on inside of your head and heart play out into your life? Are you in touch with yourself? Are you aware of how powerful your thoughts are and how they manifest into what you want?
Who or what influences your thoughts? The books you read, the people you listen to, what you watch on television, the friends you have and many more variables. How deliberately are you managing what you allow to influence you?
If you’re always thinking about how broke you are, then your actions will reflect those of a broke person. If you’re always thinking about bills, most likely you’re also talking about bills, and you’ll spend a lot of time dealing with bills. Maybe you should focus on how to get debt-free instead.
If you’re feeling bad, change the atmosphere by reading or looking at something positive and motivating. Negatives have to be replaced with positives in order for there to be a shift.
If you start thinking about how you’ll get rich, you will most likely start to engage in behavior that leads to getting rich.
In your mind’s eye, envision yourself as 20 pounds lighter. Now, that’s a start to eating and exercising properly.
Here are some negative things that some of us either think quietly in our hearts or discuss openly with our girlfriends. See if you can relate:
• I’m never going to get married and have children.
• I’m too fat; I hate my body.
• I’m so stupid; why did I say that?
• I’m never going to get a raise.
• I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m never going to succeed.
• I need to stay in this relationship; it may be the best that I can do.
Now, imagine that you changed your mind and incorporated a positive perspective. For instance:
• If I never get married or have children, my life will still be complete. I will work on me, enjoy my life and live it in such a way to invite the right man and family into my life.
• There are things that I love and don’t love about my body. I’m going to enhance the good parts and work on the others. I will not stop until I get where I want to be.
• I need more information. I’m going to inquire, do some research and get up-to-speed ASAP.
• I want to make more money. I’m going to put together a proposal that demonstrates my worth in the marketplace and highlights all of the accomplishments that I’ve made in this company, including how I add to the bottom-line and growth. Beyond that, I will work on a plan to use my talents and abilities outside of the workplace to increase my income.
• I will be successful, and I commit to learning and doing everything I need to do to ensure my success.
• I deserve to be in a relationship that edifies my life and compliments me. Every relationship has challenges, and I will work to grow in it and with it if the good outweighs the bad and it’s not weighing me down. If it’s hurting too much, I will release it in love and move forward. I deserve to be my best and to live it.
What is in your head determines your actions. Perhaps now is the time to change the script you’ve been reading so you can improve your life.
DEYA DIRECTIVE: Everything that we need, we already have or can get. Once your mind and spirit are free, no one and nothing can have power over you unless you give that power away. Don’t give your power away. Think about the possibilities for your life, believe that it’s possible and move forward.
Deya “Direct” Smith is a lead producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and host of Girlfriend FM & Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews. She is also the best-selling author of Touch Yourself, 30 Ways to Live, Love and Let Go (www.touchmebooks.com)! Deya is a life-style and inspirational speaker. See more of her videos and subscribe to Deya Direct’s YouTube channel here.