See more of Deya Direct’s videos and subscribe to her YouTube channel here.
In the recent light of suicides or attempted suicides by celebrities like actor Lee Thompson Young, music executive Chris Lighty, Soul Train pioneer Don Cornelius, NFL player Jovan Belcher, the multi-talented Fantasia (whose attempt was thankfully not successful), and the millions of other souls of regular people who suffer emotionally and silently, it depicts at least two things – that black people are not immune to emotional pain and that professional and financial success does not fulfill the soul.
Reviewing and covering these stories has prompted me to revisit some of my own pain, trials and tribulations that took me to a low place—when I thought wrong for too long. Watch the video above.
Here’s what I know for sure: In a moment’s notice, life can change drastically. Issues like suicide, depression or thoughts of giving up in some way can affect everyone. My pastor used to say everyone gets depressed sometimes; you’re human, and that’s allowed. But the key is that you can’t stay in that dark place too long. Have your pity party, and after a few days, you need to get up. You may not feel like you’ve got it all together, but you certainly cannot keep functioning as if you don’t.
Have you ever thought about something too long, giving it too much power, to the point that it took you over, even against your better judgment? It sounds cliché, but there’s a lot of truth to the saying, “You think too long, you’ll think wrong.” I can almost guarantee you that when Fantasia was sitting in that closet taking those pills, a million thoughts went through her mind, including all of the wonderful things that she has going for herself. But she let the negative thoughts win. At that time, she felt like a victim, she was having a pity party, and she just wanted to escape from the pain. I’m so glad that as reflected in the title of her new single she’s discovered that sometimes you’ve got to “Lose to Win”!
Many people who act out are really just crying out for help. You may see it as them trying to get attention, but on a deeper level, they are saying, “I’m hurting, and I need help.”
We have the power to fight for our own lives. Shape it into what we want it to be. Acknowledge the pain, yes. Get help to deal with it, yes. And then yes, actually deal with it! How do you accomplish that? One step at a time –literally and figuratively.
I, too, have crawled out from under a heavy rock that seemed insurmountable. And when I did, my motto became, “My circumstances do not determine my destiny, but my choices do.” I know fully that in life, the proverbial rocks will continue to be thrown at you and me, with the goal of taking us out. I offer this motto to you, if you need it:
Drama, sadness, mediocrity and pain are not your destiny; you’ve already done that for too long. It’s time to live fully and happily. We must declare and believe that we deserve happiness and joy as well. You have the power to create that joyful space for yourself. It’s a daily decision. Today is your day, walk into your happiness!
Deya “Direct” Smith is a lead producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and host of Girlfriend FM & Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews. She is also the best-selling author of Touch Yourself, 30 Ways to Live, Love and Let Go (www.touchmebooks.com)! Deya is a life-style and inspirational speaker. See more of her videos and subscribe to Deya Direct’s YouTube channel here.
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (11/26-12/2)
30 photos Launch gallery
1. Little Legend and Puddy 😍😍😍😍
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2. "You on point Phife?" "all the time,Tip". 💥 #bannedfromnormal
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3. Vegan! The Impossible burger at Crossroads
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4. Lawrence #BeforeandAfterEpisodes 1-4: 184lbs 13% body fatEpisode 8: 196lbs 8% body fat S/O @coachdaveboxing with the works outs and @kildareriordan with the nutrition
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5. Jus haaaanngin out
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6. Meanwhile back at home in Atlanta GA someone mad they not on the 🛳. 😳
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7. No limits... Photo cred: Chris Bridges @ludacris
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8. new new
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9. Apparently my 260lbs is too much for the actual vines in the Hawaiian jungles to hold me without breaking and me falling hundreds of feet. So for safety purposes, I'm forced to swing thru #Jumanjj on wires strong enough to hold 12 adult buffaloes and 1 adult Rock. #OnSet #Jumanji #IronicallyIEatBuffaloDailyForLunch #MoreManThanNatureKnowsWhatToDoWith
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10. hey ma! 🎎#wcw 💙
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11. Surprise visit to our factories!!! #GoodAmerican #USA
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13. Peachy Keen 🔥✨⚡️
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14. If this don't look thankful I don't know what does. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. #UltraBlessed #24kMagic #SweetPotatoFly
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15. Late nights @nbcmarlon with the writers... we in here!!!
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16. There goes my baaaaaaaaabbbbyyyyy #QueenKingMagic!!! We're up to something! Ira BIG!!! Stay out our buisness -
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17. You want to win every game you play but when you come home to these faces... who cares. #ILoveYouGirls best part of my day, everyday!
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18. Steady,steady..... full size jenga.. "I got this one "???? Or do I ?
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19. Cornrows kind of day 😉@dontaysavoy2 you convinced me and I love. ❤️️
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20. #BrotherlyLove #tbt
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22. #basel #TeamLOVE @kingcombs
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23. Just introduced a special screening of @directher 's groundbreaking (must see) documentary @13thfilm with my brother @themichaelealy | @unitedblackout #blackoutblackfriday
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24. Me & Vanessa Williams giving #DuckLips #Pose on the set of #DaytimeDivas @vh1 - Coming Soon to a tv near you. Lol. - My make up done by @makeupsurgeon
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25. This picture just makes me wanna praise the Lord, you hear me!!!!!! Yes Lord brotha #TEDDYCAMPBELL What a #man !!! You are everything right on this picture husband ......... #gorgeous #stylish #classy #strong #masculine #king #sexy #debonair #gentlemenstyle And that #bible in your hand just seals the deal for me (probably cause i know that, that is what helped you become just as amazing as you look😘). While my heart and mind experiences the goodness of God at #church on Sundays, my eyes experiences the goodness of Teddy😍. Amen somebody🙌🏽. "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name" #myman #myhusband #goodman #blackman #dapperman #godlyman #goodfather #mybestfriend
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26. Yesterday was my mama's 53rd birthday!!!!! Got to celebrate with her all day. If this is what I have to look forward to I can't wait. Looking like a soft bucket a cocoa butter. Yaaaaaaaaaas! 😍😍😍 love you mommy!
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27. "Shout out to @PureAtlanta for getting the family right"....I'm loving this jogger. 😍😍
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28. This pic warms my heart ❤️ #myLogiebeans and aunt aunt umba @itowandabraxton 😘
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29. You will always be my baby😜. #HappyBirthdayReginae #mybaby18
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30. GC "Gods Child" Red on Red SweatSuit available now at www.MonicaApparel.com ... Take Your Crown wherever you go!! I'm pictured in a Medium... Go to the site now for other options ... cc: @trukernell
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