Afterwards, I was initially looking for a relationship. I guess you could say I was a bit naive walking into situations. But I soon learned that men (some, not all) will lie to ahem, get to the land of milk and honey, I learned that lesson the hard way. Everything would be sweet in the beginning, non-stop text messages and flowing conversation. The minute we had sex (well maybe a bit after), all of a sudden I hear “Oh, I’m busy” or even worse, nothing–you know, the no call or text back.
So because I became the unofficial brand ambassador for picking bad dudes, I’ve since, unconsciously built a wall. (Dear Lord, now I sound like a girl).
Since I have been hurt in the past, i.e. finding out via Facebook the guy I was with was “friends” with a busty brunette, or getting a phone call from another guy’s girlfriend asking “so am I the side chick or are you?” I won’t even allow myself to get excited about a guy, which in my mind means I won’t even take a date seriously.
I think I’ve conditioned myself to believe that I’ll always get disappointed (at best) or hurt. So when I’m on a date, I’m cordial, funny even flirtatious, but I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Plus, the unwritten rules when it comes to dating are so confusing! Who should text who first? When you get a text, how long should you wait before responding so you don’t look thirsty? Is it okay for you to initiate a potential hang-out? If you two have sex, does that mean you two are exclusive or does it mean you both can poke other people on Facebook?
Am I ready for a full-fledged relationship? No. But I need to learn how to go on dates, enjoy them for what they are and not 30 minutes in expect us to melt into a relationship.
Since my last relationship failure, I haven’t been on not ONE date, despite having a small hunger pang for it in the pit of my stomach. The problem of not knowing how to date has morphed into a issue of not knowing how to meet a guy. On top of that, I’ve departed from those old-fashioned rules of waiting for a man to pick me and I’m proactive about flirting with men. But, this hasn’t merited me anything or anyone, for that matter.
Is there something I’m missing? It’s a like piece of the puzzle missing. I can get a man’s attention just fine. But it’s getting them to date me and stay tuned in that’s causing me to wonder if it’s me.
Someone help! What do I do? How do I turn my bad luck with men into something fun, flirty and full of good times?
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