Single women: Would you date a man who is absolutely committed to celibacy?
No sex until marriage. Not even once. And it’s not negotiable.
Kenny Pugh, author, financial professional, motivational speaker, is taking an unconventional approach to life as a black man in 2013: Sexual abstinence.
At 38 years old, Pugh is black, male and heterosexual, and hasn’t had sex in more than seven years. And he doesn’t plan to be sexually intimate with a woman until he gets married.
“I’ve been celibate for seven years and I’m an advocate for a lifestyle that empowers people to make good decisions about relationships moving forward,” Pugh said in a recent interview with BlackAmericaWeb.com.
It’s an old-school philosophy in a new-age era because sex, Pugh says, clouds good judgment. But some women aren’t down for celibacy, Pugh said, and some openly question if he’s really heterosexual.
Pugh, a contributing writer with Black Enterprise magazine, is promoting his new book: “Can You Do It Standing Up: A Different Position On Relationships.”
The book, Pugh said, challenges readers to abstain from sex and focus of building substantial relationships that are deeper, more spiritual, and ultimately more rewarding. Pugh said we all live in a sexually-driven society and his new book offers an alternative.
“Can we communicate standing up? Can we pray standing up? Can you support me standing up? Can we have an effective relationship standing up?” Pugh asked.
How many straight brothers would actually voluntarily give up sex for seven years? It would probably be a very short list.
“Sex doesn’t mean commitment,” Pugh said. “It may be a fun time but it does not mean commitment. We have to realize there is a communication gap between men and women and we have to work on ourselves.”
Pugh is challenging single people to work on their spiritual and financial lives, pursue their dreams, and plan a productive life without sex.
So why is Pugh living a life of sexual abstinence?
Because after reflecting on his previous relationships with women over the years, women he hurt, women he wasn’t honest with, Pugh said he decided to live a more truthful life.
“I thought that if it was my sister, would I want her to have the same experiences and the answer was no,” Pugh said. “If my intentions are not serious, then I need to show some restraint in my life and not be distracted by sex.”
Pugh admits that his deliberate lifestyle of sexual abstinence is confounding because not all women want to date a man who is celibate.
Some women, Pugh said, even wonder if he’s gay.
“This journey is challenging,” Pugh said. “I have to deal with rejection because I won’t have sex with them. Some women have told me they can’t operate like this and we’ve gone our separate ways.”
But sex before marriage, Pugh says, “has created a cycle of failed relationships.”
Meanwhile, Pugh says the response to his new book has been “overwhelmingly positive” because he believes that people generally want to do the right thing.
“I realize that everyone will not align themselves with my way of thinking, but I’m just putting the message out there,” he said.
So single women: How important is sex in your relationships? And single men: Would you adopt Pugh’s philosophy and abstain from sex until marriage?
For more information about Kenny Pugh, visit his website: www.kennypugh.com.