In a new book about women in the workplace, author and C-O-O of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg, discusses the importance of like-ability in the work-place … for females. She takes into account a study done at the Columbia School of Business about two employees, Heidi and Howard. In the study, half the students learned the real-life story of Heidi, a successful outgoing businesswoman. The other half got the same study accept Heidi’s name was changed to Howard. Both groups of students agreed that Heidi and Howard were capable but they liked Howard a lot more. Heidi was described as selfish and not the kind of person you’d want to hire or work for. The same qualities Heidi had that were perceived as negative were positive when it came to their assessment of Howard.
This isn’t that surprising even though the study was done as recently as 2004. For years we have heard that men with strong, commanding personalities are admired on the job but women get labeled as bitches when they exhibit high levels of assertiveness.
I think any woman in any work environment recognizes some type of gender bias. It’s the nature of the business. I haven’t read Sandberg’s book “Lean-In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead.” But excerpts from the book are leading to lots of heated discussions. “Boys,” she says, “are socialized to be assertive and aggressive and take leadership. Girls? We call our little girls bossy.” Some women believe that being judged more on their personalities and less on their competence isn’t fair.
No, it isn’t.
I don’t believe that everyone should make the same choices — that everyone has to want to be a CEO or everyone should want to be a work-at-home mother. But as Sandberg responded in a recent interview, “everyone should be able to choose without being unencumbered by gender choosing for us. Success is that if a man chooses to be a stay-at-home parent, he is cheered on for that decision. And if a woman chooses to work outside the home and is successful, she is cheered on and supported.”
I want to be clear: I do not think Sandberg is saying that men are too self-confident but that women aren’t self-confident enough.”
My advice to is to always spend more time – developing and improving our skill set and finding creative ways to establish and promote our own personal brands. For too long, women especially have tied their identities so closely with their jobs, their spouses and even their roles as moms that they failed to determine their own personal identity, value and worth.
The word I see missing in most of these articles and conversations is the word respect. As a manager, colleague and even a classroom mom I’ll take respect over like-ability any day. Respect is earned in a variety of ways but it starts within. If you’re certain that what you bring to the table is of value, you’ll carry yourself in a way that commands respect. A lot of pettiness and insecurity on the job is bred from feelings of incompetence and self-doubt.
You earn respect by treating the people the way you’d like to be treated, working as hard as you require others to work and allowing others to have some ownership in the product that they are producing.
It’s nice to be liked but I like respect a whole lot more.
And I think most men would agree.
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (11/26-12/2)
30 photos Launch gallery
1. Little Legend and Puddy 😍😍😍😍
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2. "You on point Phife?" "all the time,Tip". 💥 #bannedfromnormal
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3. Vegan! The Impossible burger at Crossroads
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4. Lawrence #BeforeandAfterEpisodes 1-4: 184lbs 13% body fatEpisode 8: 196lbs 8% body fat S/O @coachdaveboxing with the works outs and @kildareriordan with the nutrition
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5. Jus haaaanngin out
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6. Meanwhile back at home in Atlanta GA someone mad they not on the 🛳. 😳
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7. No limits... Photo cred: Chris Bridges @ludacris
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8. new new
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9. Apparently my 260lbs is too much for the actual vines in the Hawaiian jungles to hold me without breaking and me falling hundreds of feet. So for safety purposes, I'm forced to swing thru #Jumanjj on wires strong enough to hold 12 adult buffaloes and 1 adult Rock. #OnSet #Jumanji #IronicallyIEatBuffaloDailyForLunch #MoreManThanNatureKnowsWhatToDoWith
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10. hey ma! 🎎#wcw 💙
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11. Surprise visit to our factories!!! #GoodAmerican #USA
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13. Peachy Keen 🔥✨⚡️
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14. If this don't look thankful I don't know what does. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. #UltraBlessed #24kMagic #SweetPotatoFly
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15. Late nights @nbcmarlon with the writers... we in here!!!
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16. There goes my baaaaaaaaabbbbyyyyy #QueenKingMagic!!! We're up to something! Ira BIG!!! Stay out our buisness -
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17. You want to win every game you play but when you come home to these faces... who cares. #ILoveYouGirls best part of my day, everyday!
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18. Steady,steady..... full size jenga.. "I got this one "???? Or do I ?
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19. Cornrows kind of day 😉@dontaysavoy2 you convinced me and I love. ❤️️
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20. #BrotherlyLove #tbt
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22. #basel #TeamLOVE @kingcombs
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23. Just introduced a special screening of @directher 's groundbreaking (must see) documentary @13thfilm with my brother @themichaelealy | @unitedblackout #blackoutblackfriday
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24. Me & Vanessa Williams giving #DuckLips #Pose on the set of #DaytimeDivas @vh1 - Coming Soon to a tv near you. Lol. - My make up done by @makeupsurgeon
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25. This picture just makes me wanna praise the Lord, you hear me!!!!!! Yes Lord brotha #TEDDYCAMPBELL What a #man !!! You are everything right on this picture husband ......... #gorgeous #stylish #classy #strong #masculine #king #sexy #debonair #gentlemenstyle And that #bible in your hand just seals the deal for me (probably cause i know that, that is what helped you become just as amazing as you look😘). While my heart and mind experiences the goodness of God at #church on Sundays, my eyes experiences the goodness of Teddy😍. Amen somebody🙌🏽. "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name" #myman #myhusband #goodman #blackman #dapperman #godlyman #goodfather #mybestfriend
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26. Yesterday was my mama's 53rd birthday!!!!! Got to celebrate with her all day. If this is what I have to look forward to I can't wait. Looking like a soft bucket a cocoa butter. Yaaaaaaaaaas! 😍😍😍 love you mommy!
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27. "Shout out to @PureAtlanta for getting the family right"....I'm loving this jogger. 😍😍
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28. This pic warms my heart ❤️ #myLogiebeans and aunt aunt umba @itowandabraxton 😘
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29. You will always be my baby😜. #HappyBirthdayReginae #mybaby18
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30. GC "Gods Child" Red on Red SweatSuit available now at www.MonicaApparel.com ... Take Your Crown wherever you go!! I'm pictured in a Medium... Go to the site now for other options ... cc: @trukernell
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