In a new book about women in the workplace, author and C-O-O of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg, discusses the importance of like-ability in the work-place … for females. She takes into account a study done at the Columbia School of Business about two employees, Heidi and Howard. In the study, half the students learned the real-life story of Heidi, a successful outgoing businesswoman. The other half got the same study accept Heidi’s name was changed to Howard. Both groups of students agreed that Heidi and Howard were capable but they liked Howard a lot more. Heidi was described as selfish and not the kind of person you’d want to hire or work for. The same qualities Heidi had that were perceived as negative were positive when it came to their assessment of Howard.
This isn’t that surprising even though the study was done as recently as 2004. For years we have heard that men with strong, commanding personalities are admired on the job but women get labeled as bitches when they exhibit high levels of assertiveness.
I think any woman in any work environment recognizes some type of gender bias. It’s the nature of the business. I haven’t read Sandberg’s book “Lean-In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead.” But excerpts from the book are leading to lots of heated discussions. “Boys,” she says, “are socialized to be assertive and aggressive and take leadership. Girls? We call our little girls bossy.” Some women believe that being judged more on their personalities and less on their competence isn’t fair.
No, it isn’t.
I don’t believe that everyone should make the same choices — that everyone has to want to be a CEO or everyone should want to be a work-at-home mother. But as Sandberg responded in a recent interview, “everyone should be able to choose without being unencumbered by gender choosing for us. Success is that if a man chooses to be a stay-at-home parent, he is cheered on for that decision. And if a woman chooses to work outside the home and is successful, she is cheered on and supported.”
I want to be clear: I do not think Sandberg is saying that men are too self-confident but that women aren’t self-confident enough.”
My advice to is to always spend more time – developing and improving our skill set and finding creative ways to establish and promote our own personal brands. For too long, women especially have tied their identities so closely with their jobs, their spouses and even their roles as moms that they failed to determine their own personal identity, value and worth.
The word I see missing in most of these articles and conversations is the word respect. As a manager, colleague and even a classroom mom I’ll take respect over like-ability any day. Respect is earned in a variety of ways but it starts within. If you’re certain that what you bring to the table is of value, you’ll carry yourself in a way that commands respect. A lot of pettiness and insecurity on the job is bred from feelings of incompetence and self-doubt.
You earn respect by treating the people the way you’d like to be treated, working as hard as you require others to work and allowing others to have some ownership in the product that they are producing.
It’s nice to be liked but I like respect a whole lot more.
And I think most men would agree.
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/15-10/21)
31 photos Launch gallery
1. Just a NY girl with BIG dreams....
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2. HAPPY CHILDREN=QUALITY PARENTING. We don't always see eye to eye on everything and that's normal. We're human beings. But we come together and do it right for what's important, the kids. We are not enemies, we are parents. And we are parents 1st. S/O to @monyettashaw for making Mason's bday memorable. S/O to @itscrystalsmith at home taking care of our other lil' Prince. ❤️❤️❤️ THIS IS WHAT CO-PARENTING LOOKS LIKE. #Blessed #Happy #AboveTheDrama #BiggerThanUs
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3. So happy to finally be able to share with you all that I’m the new Global Brand Ambassador for @Revlon! Follow my day on RevlonSnaps. Yay! Choose Love, Everybody! #RevlonXCiara #chooselove #ad
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4. Glam on point!!!@makeupbymotoko & @shaylinjoneshair #easybreezy @lifetimetv #beachesmovie #january2017 😘
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5. ✨True love ✨📸: @jessiemarrerophotography
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7. Today was not easy..but by the grace of God we all got through it. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of your Prayers, Positive thoughts and Support for us throughout the years. Tommy will be missed but most certainly never forgotten...And PLEASE don't ask "Where's Martin?.." he was there too...just not in this picture. Lol! God bless you all.. #LoveConquersAll #MartinShow
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9. West coast get ready for #RockyHorror. I will be live tweeting again. #letsdothetimewarpagain
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10. #THEKEYS pre order yours now ... Available everywhere #NOV22 #WeTheBest 🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
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11. We about to ROCK at #KCABlackBall!! All for our life-changing effort to end 🌎 AIDS.
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12. Today's #SNAPJACK is brought to you by @yazzthegreatest 😂😂😂💋💋💋
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13. Damn girl you kinda old to be headed to the Go Go. You coming in at the age they leaving. LMAO
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14. Daddy daycare B-Boxin with @acewellstucker @shopraisingace
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15. #FBF Naviyd & URV "LIL MONSTERS"
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16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST LEGENDS IN OUR HIPHOP HISTORY! @snoopdogg CONTINUED BLESSING AND LOVE FAMILY!!!!! REAL OG!
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17. Thank you for a beautiful night VSU! Let's do it again! #HOMECOMING
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18. Had a great time this morning with my familia Erica, Griff & Truth!!
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19. Check out my interview on @essence facebook live. #inmyownwords #nycpromo #day2
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20. #She💋 #tbt #TheCoveAtTheAtlantis #DawgPawsAndAll
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21. Bae #retailtherapy
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22. Why me and @coryhardrict got the same pose... and notee... new mouth #naked
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23. When my husband is my personal 'hype-man'! it kills me every time! 💜😂 #WHATNOW #lostfiles📷
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24. Diggy Simmons
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25. Hand full of @jacquieaiche 💙💎💍 @esnail_la 💅🏾
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26. SuperSoulers! You can watch my interview with Carl Lentz live from my Facebook page, tomorrow at 11a ET| 8a PT. #SuperSoulSunday
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27. 💋 .. When the friendship is easy like Sunday morning. ☀️
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28. Sunday mornings are the best........... hugs and cuddles with my angel
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29. #huggar16 #hellohuggars
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30. My gym is everywhere!.. #RnBMoney #TheGeneral 📸: @twelvepastseven
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31. Nothing I would rather be doing... Rocko setting up our movie, Romelō working on a puzzle & Laiyah singing and sharing all she's learning at school... I'm so grateful for the joy they've brought into my life ... Praying for peace , joy & love in the home of EVERY family ♥️ #HeadScarfPJSunday LOL 😂
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