I’m going to ask a question that, after reading some recent headlines on the controversial, on-again couple, Chris Brown and Rihanna, has been on my mind.
You know, it was Tina Turner who first asked it when she musically wondered, “What’s love got to do with it…?”
And some are still wondering, especially since Rihanna escorted Brown to a court hearing where he was charged for failing to complete his community service for abusing Rihanna 4 years ago.
Now, I’m not saying Rihanna and Chris don’t love each other. In fact, they very well may. Still, my question remains: What does love really have to do with it?
Let me explain where I’m going with this. We often convince ourselves that relationships are all about love. And, on Valentine’s Day, we celebrate this type of romantic love.
However, if successful relationships were based only on romantic love, divorce rates would certainly not be as high as they are, right? In fact, a lot of divorced couples dislike each other and yet say they still love each other.
The point is there are a bunch of other very important factors in a relationship that determine its health and success; the emotional health of each partner, trust, respect, compatibility, to name a few.
And it’s often these other key aspects of a relationship that allow romantic love to flourish.
Yes, Rihanna and Chris likely do love each other, but given their checkered history together—and the fact they are living out their flaws and mistakes on a world stage—I sincerely hope they recognize the importance of these other aspects.
And while they have every right to want to move on and leave their past behind, without a healthy acknowledgement of their individual emotional wellness, trust and respect, in particular—their renewed relationship is not likely to survive, and worse, they might be doomed to repeat the ugly scenario of four years ago.
So on this Valentine’s Day, I’m not hating on Rihanna and Chris 2.0 at all, as many in the media are. Rather, I am sending them—and, for that matter, everyone out there in a relationship—love and hope, and the reminder that romantic love has to be fed and nurtured with these other important aspects.
Ask anyone who’s been married for years and they’ll probably tell you that romantic love often needs help and this is not a bad thing, because it’s all about working at and celebrating a relationship so it can truly grow.
I’ll close with these words from George Jean Nathan that speak to the importance of healthy loving relationships:
“Love is an emotion experienced by the many but enjoyed by the few.”
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/15-10/21)
31 photos Launch gallery
1. Just a NY girl with BIG dreams....
1 of 31
2. HAPPY CHILDREN=QUALITY PARENTING. We don't always see eye to eye on everything and that's normal. We're human beings. But we come together and do it right for what's important, the kids. We are not enemies, we are parents. And we are parents 1st. S/O to @monyettashaw for making Mason's bday memorable. S/O to @itscrystalsmith at home taking care of our other lil' Prince. ❤️❤️❤️ THIS IS WHAT CO-PARENTING LOOKS LIKE. #Blessed #Happy #AboveTheDrama #BiggerThanUs
2 of 31
3. So happy to finally be able to share with you all that I’m the new Global Brand Ambassador for @Revlon! Follow my day on RevlonSnaps. Yay! Choose Love, Everybody! #RevlonXCiara #chooselove #ad
3 of 31
4. Glam on point!!!@makeupbymotoko & @shaylinjoneshair #easybreezy @lifetimetv #beachesmovie #january2017 😘
4 of 31
5. ✨True love ✨📸: @jessiemarrerophotography
5 of 31
6 of 31
7. Today was not easy..but by the grace of God we all got through it. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of your Prayers, Positive thoughts and Support for us throughout the years. Tommy will be missed but most certainly never forgotten...And PLEASE don't ask "Where's Martin?.." he was there too...just not in this picture. Lol! God bless you all.. #LoveConquersAll #MartinShow
7 of 31
8 of 31
9. West coast get ready for #RockyHorror. I will be live tweeting again. #letsdothetimewarpagain
9 of 31
10. #THEKEYS pre order yours now ... Available everywhere #NOV22 #WeTheBest 🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
10 of 31
11. We about to ROCK at #KCABlackBall!! All for our life-changing effort to end 🌎 AIDS.
11 of 31
12. Today's #SNAPJACK is brought to you by @yazzthegreatest 😂😂😂💋💋💋
12 of 31
13. Damn girl you kinda old to be headed to the Go Go. You coming in at the age they leaving. LMAO
13 of 31
14. Daddy daycare B-Boxin with @acewellstucker @shopraisingace
14 of 31
15. #FBF Naviyd & URV "LIL MONSTERS"
15 of 31
16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST LEGENDS IN OUR HIPHOP HISTORY! @snoopdogg CONTINUED BLESSING AND LOVE FAMILY!!!!! REAL OG!
16 of 31
17. Thank you for a beautiful night VSU! Let's do it again! #HOMECOMING
17 of 31
18. Had a great time this morning with my familia Erica, Griff & Truth!!
18 of 31
19. Check out my interview on @essence facebook live. #inmyownwords #nycpromo #day2
19 of 31
20. #She💋 #tbt #TheCoveAtTheAtlantis #DawgPawsAndAll
20 of 31
21. Bae #retailtherapy
21 of 31
22. Why me and @coryhardrict got the same pose... and notee... new mouth #naked
22 of 31
23. When my husband is my personal 'hype-man'! it kills me every time! 💜😂 #WHATNOW #lostfiles📷
23 of 31
24. Diggy Simmons
24 of 31
25. Hand full of @jacquieaiche 💙💎💍 @esnail_la 💅🏾
25 of 31
26. SuperSoulers! You can watch my interview with Carl Lentz live from my Facebook page, tomorrow at 11a ET| 8a PT. #SuperSoulSunday
26 of 31
27. 💋 .. When the friendship is easy like Sunday morning. ☀️
27 of 31
28. Sunday mornings are the best........... hugs and cuddles with my angel
28 of 31
29. #huggar16 #hellohuggars
29 of 31
30. My gym is everywhere!.. #RnBMoney #TheGeneral 📸: @twelvepastseven
30 of 31
31. Nothing I would rather be doing... Rocko setting up our movie, Romelō working on a puzzle & Laiyah singing and sharing all she's learning at school... I'm so grateful for the joy they've brought into my life ... Praying for peace , joy & love in the home of EVERY family ♥️ #HeadScarfPJSunday LOL 😂
31 of 31