“Let’s take a long walk around the park after dark. Find a spot for us to spark conversation, verbal elation, stimulation. Share our situations, temptations, education, relaxations. Elevations, maybe baby, maybe we can save the nation. Come on, Come on …” – Jill Scott “A Long Walk”
Lyrically, Jill Scott does what I like to call “mental masturbation” with her play on words, all the while taking us on a musical journey that feels and sounds so good. That is what I hope this book ultimately does for you. I want you to reach that hot spot in your life. You know that place when you know you’re in a good space and living it up in all the ways that count. Finally, it is your time to get yours.
Foreplay is intimate preparation and stimulation that precedes your reaching that special place. Verbally, foreplay may include compliments, and intimate conversations. Non-verbally, foreplay can include kissing, touching, standing inside someone’s personal space or holding a long gaze. Simply, it can be a connection, an understanding, it’s a vibe. Foreplay is the planning, the anticipating, the actions and the effort you put into something before the big pay-off. As syndicated radio host and Radio Hall of Famer Tom Joyner says, “You got to put the work in.” He usually says this in the context of producing relevant and creative work. But the principle applies across the board. Basically, you have to prepare before you can get to the good part – the recognition, the accolades, the awards, and the money.
Nobody knows what the big payoff is for you better than you. You must then be tuned into and in touch with the deepest part of yourself. How tuned in are you about what you really want? Let me illustrate with pop culture. Many of us tune in and watch reality TV on a daily basis because we like watching other people’s drama. Regardless of your opinion about the content on reality TV; the reality check is that those “real people” that we watch are, in many ways, living their dreams out loud in front of our faces. They are on TV, online, building their own brands and getting paid well for it. And whether we are entertained immensely or shaking our heads with dismay, the fact remains that millions not only tune in but when the show is over, they are discussing what went down, play by play on the phone, or even at work the next day. In the meantime, these personalities are putting in the work and are cashing in all the way to the bank.
Of course, I’m not minimizing your life to reality TV, but I do want you to tune into your world and have a reality check. How does it look, and why are you doing what you do? These answers will reveal your motives and will make it clear how much you’re willing to work to reach your intended goals – love, family, education, professional growth, respect, comfort, security or all of the above. Any good reporter will tell you that knowing how to ask the right things at the right times can lead to a major scoop. What’s the scoop on you? Be bold and ask yourself the tough questions: Who am I at my core? What do I really want to do? Am I fully committed to it, and for the right reasons? Or do I just want the results of what I think it can bring me? What am I willing to do to achieve it? Go ahead. Take that self-examination. Whisper in your own ear; the answers to those queries will be the mirror that reflects your reality and help clarify what’s hindering you.
Deya “Direct” Smith, is a producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and host of Girlfriend FM & Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews. She is also the author of Touch Yourself, 30 Ways to Live, Love and Let Go (www.touchmebooks.com)! Deya is a life-style and inspirational speaker.
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/7-10/14)
25 photos Launch gallery
1. Nite | to the tune of @cnn 😞
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2. Got so much work to do but I just wanna stay in bed and binge watch #Gameofthrones and start the new season of #OnceUponATime. I know I can't be the only one. Right? Ha 💤🦁🍂 #saturday
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3. Mommy's weekend turn up ❤️👶🏾💕🍼 Wouldn't trade it for nothing. #TeamNoSleep lol #HesMyBiggestBlessing ✨
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4. One of them oh shit mont we made it feelings … this shit still be unreal 💯💪🏾 @remyboymonty1738
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5. Tickets Available October 14 @ticketmaster.
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6. People magazine Home edition has raided my house! Get a sneak peek into the bedroom life of the Leakes and see other parts of my home now at PEOPLE.COM
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7. They want to kick you when you down, but kick it when you up
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8. Got my advance copy of #Mafia3 at @gamestop. Get yours via link in the bio #Mafia3 #Ad
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9. This is some of the cast and our diverse team of writers in the writer's room creating funny sh*t for @nbcmarlon what a fun room! Lots of jokes, great stories and having a great time doing what we love... making people laugh and feel something. Look out for our show next year @nbcmarlon we bringing sitcoms back to NBC
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10. #HappySunday☀️Thank you @4everbrandy101 💛💡💛
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11. Happy to be back in Central Falls, RI breaking ground for the One Stop Health Center and hosting a local community event with #Vaseline.
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12. Thank you all in advance 💋💋💋 #Repost @urbansvintage・・・#TarajiPHenson's memoir #AroundTheWayGirl will be available everywhere TODAY October 11th! Will you be purchasing a copy? #UrbansVintage
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13. Moms got my back
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14. @galore dinner party glo ✨ thanks to @styledbygiigii
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15. 🌹#ThisIsWhatTheTruthFeelsLikeTOUR #forevereve
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16. Yes, all those videos I've been posting have led to this: the introduction of skincare to @TYRABeauty! This is the rundown on the new line:Years of research and beauty tips I live by led me to produce the most effective and delightful skincare out there. I'm all about taking really good care of my skin, so I can look like I'm aging in #TyraYears and go filter free on Instagram when I feel like it! Now, it's your turn. ✨My Mama always told me not to wash my face with just my hands. "Tyra, girl, you're just moving the dirt around!" And I've listened. First up is The Clean Machine.... ...a 3-in-1 foaming face wash that cleanses, removes makeup and purified your skin. It has patented technology - a attached Turbo Cleansing Tool - to give you that deep clean that makes your skin feel super fresh. Wanna know more? Yeah, baby. Click that link in my bio.
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17. On set of #beingmaryjane like... ❤️😬💃🏾
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18. #carouselofhope@yvetteshelton100@makeupbylatrice @thestacetheface@marialuciahohan24
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19. I refuse to let a little cold stop me from my daily routines to greatness. #onlythestrongsurvive #warriors
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20. Big things begin with big THINKING... #BusinessEthics #SetLife 🎥
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21. Goodnight - here's a song
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22. Words can't explain the feeling that I have right now.....God is good. look momma I made it. #Harts #Blessed #WhatNow #comedicrockstarshit #4DaysAway
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23. I tried to get a better video with out the nasty bib but she started getting mad at me..lol! Big cuz @the_queen_caitlin trying to show her what to do. #MamasToots #HeirBear👑💜
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24. Gorgeous Serena joined Beyoncé in Formation last night on stage in New Jersey!!!
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25. 😜 @lifeofdesiigner & @rockohill
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