Huggy Lowdown’s ‘Bama of the Week’

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  • Somehow Huggy Lowdown managed to leave himself off the list of "Bama of the Week" nominees even though he was late this week! Find out who made the list and won this week's title below.

    TOM JOYNER :  And now it’s time for the Celebrity Snitch, Huggy Lodown. HUGGY!!!

    HUGGY LOWDOWN:  What’s the deal, Pickles?  Is everything kosher?

    TOM JOYNER :  Yeah, everything’s kosher.

    HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Tom Joyner.

    TOM JOYNER :  Huggy Lowdown.

    HUGGY LOWDOWN:  What’s popping Redenbacher?  Sybil Wilkes?

    SYBIL WILKES :  Happy Friday, Hug.

    HUGGY LOWDOWN:  What’s going on Garret’s popcorn.  

    SYBIL WILKES :  Alright, thank you.

    HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Jay Anthony Brown.

    J. ANTHONY BROWN :  What up, Hug?

    HUGGY LOWDOWN:  How you feeling Fiddle Faddle? Are you crunching munching on white cheddar or is that a pop secret?  Speaking of popping, let’s put this bag of contenders in a microwave and make sure no kernel goes unpopped.  Contender number one, former Chicago Bull/Los Angeles Lakers Coach, Phil Jackson.  Now Phil Jackson was rumored to be the Laker’s coach again after they let Jay Anthony Brown’s second cousin, Mike Brown go.  That’s a fine game, Jay.  See, here’s the situation, at the brother man’s termination Phil was in negotiation for his old occupation to return to the Laker nation.  But instead of honoring the coaches’ couple of days of consideration they didn’t wait the duration and hired my Mike D’Antoni as the new sensation.  So basically Phil got fabrication with no lubrication. Church! Contender number two is also a former Laker now, Philadelphia 76er who should be traded to the Los Angeles Clippers, Andrew Bynum.  Have you seen Andrew Bynum hair?

    TOM JOYNER :  No.

    HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Andrew Balen, Tom you got to Google this brother, and even though he is on the bench his hair had a trouble double.

    TOM JOYNER :  What?

    HUGGY LOWDOWN:  I mean this seven foot Cypress Tree hair, you need to see it, he looks like the fiscal cliff, Tom.  He needs to change his name to Metta World perm.  Seeing Andrew Bynum hair like that is like watching Macy Gray on Maury trying to figure out who’s Andrew Bynum’s dad.  (Laughter) Ammad Rashad or Clarence Williams the third.  Contender number three, Karrine Steffens.  Super head will just not go up, up, up and away.  Now she’s supposed to be on Basketball Wives, LA.  Now if you look at her resume, she’s qualified for Basketball Wives, Loving Hip Hop and Real Time with Bill Mauer.  Hell, she could be on Hoarders.  I even heard she’s supposed to be in the remake of the movie I’m Gonna Get You Sucka.  Inappropriate.  Contender number four, the New York Jets.  Number three and six, the New York Jets, because you can get William Whip Whittaker to save this Jet’s flight.  See, some of their players are talking behind their back up quarterback’s back.  And the backup quarterback back’s said Tim Tebow is terrible.  No, the whole New York Jets are terrible.  And there’s only one team worse than the Jets right now, y’all.  The Washington Wizards.  And they’re contender number five, because they’re zero and seven.  Who the hell coaching them, Tom?  Karl Roves?  Contender number six, John McCain.  Yep, old two Cain complained about how the President dealt with the attacks in Ben Gaza, and was a no-show at a briefing on Ben Gaza.  Let me keep this brief; shut up.  Contender number seven, Mitt Romney.  Mannequin Mitt still talking shigity.  Yep it’s 47 percent part two.  Mitt Romney was on a call to his donors explaining the reason he lost because President gave gifts, extraordinary financial gifts, to the African American community, the Hispanic community and young people.  Mitt still got your ass whooping, delusional.  “Hit the Road Jack, My pres is back for more, for more, for more”.  (Laugh) Contender number eight, all the people who want to succeed from the U.S. because we reelected President Obama.  Well, let’s see if Mannequin Mitt lets you move into his house.  Ya’ll secede these! General Petraeus, you are the bama of the week, week, week.  See, when your biographer wrote that book she wasn’t lying.  You know, the book, All In.  She wasn’t lying.  If Patreaus stepped on that land mine when they started to bump and grind, she had the general like Olivia Sybil, Lost and turned out.  When he was with his wife he was the Incredible Mr. Limpet.  But when he was with the Biographer from Broadwell he was the Incredible Hulk.  She knew the General couldn’t resist.  You know, the Army new slogan is we leave no behind.  General Patraeus, you are the bama of the week, week, week.  Chamique Holdsclaw gets honorable mention.
     
     

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