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Jada Pinkett Smith must have heard the whispers about her kids. Don’t act like you don’t think the same things – why is her not-even-a-teen-daughter shaving her hair? What’s up with the gay pride messages? Is that a piercing? Yeah, everyone is guilty.

The actress, mother and wife chatted with People magazine about her controversial parenting style.

“I think that old-school style of ‘I’m your parent and I’m greater than you’ doesn’t work,” she recently told People magazine. “What I establish with my children is a partnership,” says Jada, whose two younger kids are in show business. Her stepson, Trey, hasn’t expressed any Hollywood aspirations yet.

The Smith children have been intentional about expressing themselves and establishing their own identity in the industry; with their flamboyant styles, loud colors, wild haircuts and message laden music.

But that’s the way Will and Jada raise the kids – with the freedom to express.

When “instilling in [Willow] the power for individuality, we communicate with our kids in a way that our message overpowers any other message that they get out there,” she says.