The Bravest Black Man in America

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  • Thank you, Artis Hughes. And a big thanks to you, Shi’Dea Lane. Thank you both for proving that African-American adage, “Some Negroes just don’t know how to act.”

    Actually, the saying uses that much better known and far more offensive “n” word, but we’ve all heard it. And we’ve all heard that adage.

    Now, thanks to a video that’s gone viral, anyone in the world can not only hear about how “some Negroes just don’t know how to act,” but they can also actually SEE a classic example of the adage.

    Hughes is a 59-year-old Cleveland bus driver, but he might not be for long.

    Lane, 25, is, well, how can we define Lane, exactly?

    We only have her actions in the video to go by. And those actions say that whatever else Lane might be, she is definitely this: a loudmouth, uncouth, straight-out-of-the-ghetto harpy. The shrew from hell might be an accurate description, and that might be too kind a choice of words.

    The video of what went down between Hughes and Lane just recently went viral, but the initial incident happened over a month ago, on Sept. 18.

    According to a police report of the incident, Lane boarded the bus Hughes was driving around 4 p.m. Lane didn’t pay her fare, claiming her money was in a book bag she’d left behind.

    Somehow Lane’s not having bus fare escalated into a beef between the driver and passenger. Hughes lost his cool. Lane went straight ghetto.

    Both – supposedly adults, mind you – engaged in a macho idiocy contest of who might whip whose ass. If you watch the video, you’ll hear this exchange:

    Hughes: I’ll bring my daughter up here to whip your ass. I’ll bring my granddaughter up here to whip your ass.

    Lane: Well bring ‘em, n***a. Bring your mammy up here and I’ll whip her ass too.

    Hughes: You look  like somebody done sliced your face up.
     
    Somewhere during this hissing match Lane called Hughes and his mother the dreaded “b” word. Then she grabbed him by the throat and spat in his face.

    Not exactly a wise career move.

    It was at that point, I suspect, that Hughes decided to forego bringing either his daughter or granddaughter to the scene to “whip Lane’s ass.” Hughes decided that Lane had just bought herself a one-way ticket to “Get My Ass Whipped City,” and that Hughes himself would be the bus driver.

    Hughes got up from his seat and told Lane, “You going to jail now.” Then he went straight George Foreman on Lane.

    He nailed her with a right uppercut, square on the chin. Then he bodily tossed her off the bus.

    Lane, that feisty little dickens, rushed back ON to the bus to continue the fight with Hughes, who gets my vote for the bravest black man in America. No way in hell would I get into a fight with Lane, or any woman like her.

    It was only then that some of the more responsible parties on the bus – and believe me, judging by how things turned out, there weren’t many – stepped in to separate Hughes and Lane and try to calm things down.

    One woman chided Hughes for hitting Lane.

    “She’s a female,” the woman said.

    “If she acts like a man, Ima treat you like a man,” Hughes answered.

    It was then that Lane went completely ghetto, calling Hughes the “b” word, the “n” word and promising to bring her “n***a” to the scene to give Hughes a beat down.

    Exactly how ghetto is Lane? After the incident she spoke publicly about it, and that now famous – or should it be “infamous” – uppercut.

    “It just hurted,” Lane said of the blow.

    “Hurted”? Oh my, sounds to me like someone is hooked on Ebonics. Sounds to me like English might be a second language in Cleveland public schools – and I’m talking for the people who were born here.

    Hughes has been suspended from his job, but that should be the least of his worries (that he brought partly on himself, by the way). If I were Hughes, I’d watch my back.

    Lane’s boyfriend – the second bravest black man in America – is probably even more ghetto than she his. How do I know?

    Lordy, who else would have the woman? If I’d brought a woman like Lane home to meet my mom, she’d have had one reaction.

    Mama would have dragged me out into the back yard, tied me to a tree and shot me between the eyes.

    And rightly so.
     

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