Huggy Lowdown’s ‘Bama of the Week’

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TOM JOYNER :  And now it’s time for the Celebrity Snitch Huggy Lowdown.  HUGGY!

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  What’s the deal, Pickles?  Is everything kosher?

TOM JOYNER :  Yeah, everything’s kosher.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Tom Joyner.

TOM JOYNER :  It’s Friday, Huggy.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  A former member of the Commodores.  The man with the Usher glove hands.  Church.  What’s up beige heart.

TOM JOYNER :  Beige heart.  

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Sybil Wilkes.

SYBIL WILKES:  Good morning, Hug.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  The professional photographer who only lets you see your picture one time only.

SYBIL WILKES:  (Laugh)

TOM JOYNER :  (Laugh)

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  What’s up professional picture taker, curator, and part time plays in washer percolator.  Jay Anthony Brown.

J. ANTHONY BROWN:  What up, Hug?

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Before Viagra, Levitra and Cialis.  And hotter than a mofo that was harder than a mofo, a product created by our very own J. Anthony Brown who never saw the commercial success because he refused to change the name, so he married his night school sweetheart.

TOM JOYNER :  (Laugh)

SYBIL WILKES:  (Laugh)

J. ANTHONY BROWN:  Night school.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Divorced her and pursued his true passion:  white women and comedy.  In that order.  Next week on Beyond Radio Mofo.  

SYBIL WILKES:  (Laugh) Beyond …

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Happy First Friday the Fifth up on this Mickey Flick.

TOM JOYNER :  Damn, right.

SYBIL WILKES:  And to you, sir.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Well, it’s been a wild ass week.

SYBIL WILKES:  Yeah.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Woman hard in cocaine and weaves, and in their Vay-G’s, and lawyers dropping joints of weed, and they’re finding marijuana trees, and Hillary Clinton looking at Christine Aguilera double-D’s, and Venus  & Serena 70 year old daddy Richard still having seeds.

TOM JOYNER :  (Laugh)

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  And that’s hard to believe, before I roll up my sleeves and count down these contenders.

SYBIL WILKES:  Mm-hmm?

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Y’all hear the story about the first openly gay boxer?

SYBIL WILKES:  Yes.

TOM JOYNER :  Yes.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  A Puerto Rican featherweight named Orlando Cruz.

TOM JOYNER :  Yeah.

SYBIL WILKES:  Mm-hmm.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Now, if you think about it, this ain’t new to boxing.  

SYBIL WILKES:  (Laugh)

TOM JOYNER :  (Laugh)

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Tom, listen to the nicknames of some of these past boxers.

TOM JOYNER :  (Laugh)

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Tell me what you think.  Too Sweet.

TOM JOYNER :  Yeah.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Sugar Ray.  Sugar Shame.  Marvalous.  The Real Deal.  Even Ali said; float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

TOM JOYNER :  (Laugh)

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  And this ain’t nothing new, it’s been around.  But we haven’t noticed till now, it’s like finding out about the Village People when you were older.  Oh, I get it.  Young men, there’s no..

TOM JOYNER :  (Laugh)

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  So Orlando Cruz …

SYBIL WILKES:  Wow.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  … do as you choose, brother.  The sport of boxing needs someone right now, don’t it Tom?

TOM JOYNER :  Yes.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Can’t you hear Michael Bubba saying right now; In the bedazzled corner.

TOM JOYNER :  (Laugh)

SYBIL WILKES:  (Laugh)

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  It’s the Brawl in Lennox Mall.  

TOM JOYNER :  (Laugh)

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  (Laugh) Contender number one, Wednesday night moderator, Jim Lehrer, or how do you pronounce that Bama last name?  You were more of a spectator than a moderator, you puffy ass baked potato.  Contender number two, Mitt Romney.  Now, Rom dot com bullied the moderator and told him; the hell with your time limit, I’m going to talk till I’m finished, kiss my assets.  I’m going to get rid of PBS, Big Bird, Big Bird mamma, Big Bird baby brother and the whole Sesame Street posse.  Mitt don’t give a shigity or a rat’s ass about the 47 percent and Big Bird?  You can’t be our President.  Contender three and four, Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj.  What is the world coming to?  You have Hip Hop and R&B singers beefing?  You’re supposed to be doing duets together.  Remember when Hip Hop artists were features on R&B artist albums?

Not any more. It’s a new day.  And that’s like Lauren Hill and Patti LaBelle beefing.  They’re getting too much money on American Idol to be fighting each other.  But if they do fight, I hope they fight in slow motion, mmm, mmm.  With the slow train camera man filming.  Close ups and ass Tony, Cinco de Romo, you are the Bama of the Week.  Not once, not twice, not three or four times, but the Bama of the Week to the fifth power.  Five interceptions?  Who in the hell throw five interceptions on a Monday night?  Oh, that’s right, you do.  This the second time you did this.

SYBIL WILKES:  (Laugh)

TOM JOYNER :  (Laugh)

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Five minutes and you gave it away five times.  That’s like your waiter at Pappa Deaux giving away our entrée five times Cinco de Romo.  That’s like your girlfriend having five babies by five different men.

SYBIL WILKES:  Wow.

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  You are the Bama of the Week.

TOM JOYNER :  Bama of the Week.  (Laugh)

HUGGY LOWDOWN:  Funny Bone tonight.  Through Sunday me and Chris Paul.

 

PLAY AUDIO

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