Eight Fears Men Have About Marriage

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You’ll use the bathroom with the door open: Even though the masks are off during marriage, there are some things that experts say should remain private. Many men find it uncomfortable when their wives go to the bathroom without closing the door. Some men admit that they feel that their wife is becoming too much like them when doing so.  Dr. Goldstein believes in keeping the time spent on the porcelain throne private in order to reestablish a sense of individuality.

-The sex will stop: Several men fear that as the marriage becomes more comfortable the sex will become less frequent. In many cases, men view sex as a reward for completing efforts throughout the marriage such as taking care of the home, working, or kids. Dr. Sherman suggests showing verbal and physical affection as an incentive when your husband pitches in with household chores. She also recommends being direct in saying: “If you do this, we’ll have more sex.”

-You won’t have anything in common anymore: Some men fear that the commonalities that once brought you together will change once you all are married. In many instances, life obligations can get in the way of enjoying a hobby or pastime that was previously shared. Dr. Orlov recommends taking time to share those activities or interests again to reconnect.

-You’ll try to change him: When it comes to change, Dr. Sherman refers to the old adage, “Women marry men in hopes they’ll change, while men marry women in hopes they won’t change.” When dating, each partner puts their best foot forward. However, once the relationship has progressed into a comfortable state, some women discover traits they think they can change. Dr. Sherman reminds women that if they want to change a man the message must be delivered in a gentle, lovingly fashion in order to be effective.

Lack of alone time: Some men feel they will no longer be able to experience “me” time for themselves. Hanging out with friends, watching a football game without interruption and even reading the paper can appear unachievable for some men. However, marriage experts believe it is essential to have time apart in order to appreciate each other. "It behooves both spouses to enjoy time on their own," said Goldstein. "If he has a chance to reboot, he'll be a better husband, so it's a win-win for both partners."

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