Eight Fears Men Have About Marriage

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  • The fears men have about marriage may not be as predictable as you may think.

    Although some men have trouble imagining themselves with one woman for the rest of their lives, there are many other reasons men may not be quick to jump the broom.

    "Husbands' fears are rooted primarily in rejection and self-consciousness," said Carin Goldstein, a licensed marriage therapist and creator of BeTheSmartWife.com.

    Here are eight reasons your man may be afraid to put a ring on it:

    -He’ll be placed on the back burner: Many men feel that they will lose your attention once kids and jobs get in the way. "As marriages progress, men often feel that all they're good for is a paycheck," said Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of The Pathway to Love. Dr. Orlov recommends reserving at least 30 minutes of the day for one-on-one conversation that excludes talking about your kids, in-laws, or work.

    -You’ll turn into your (or his) mother: Although some men look for similar traits of their mothers in their wives, they don’t want to experience having two mothers. Karen Sherman, PhD. and author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last believes that men fear their wives will develop the annoying traits of their mother. She suggests opening the lines of communication by telling him to nicely make you aware of when those annoying traits appear.

    -You’ll talk bad about him to girlfriends: Believe it or not, men are just as self-conscious about their reputation as women. Men are afraid of becoming the “bad guy” when girlfriends are used as a sounding board after an argument. Dr. Orlov believes that talking to friends about every marital argument will only lead to reinforcing your husband’s “bad guy” image. Instead, she recommends talking to him directly to address the issue and strengthen communication.

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