Separate Bedrooms Can Save Your Marriage

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Here are a few tips on how to maintain the connection with your partner:


1. Stay affectionate-Touching develops a sense of intimacy and it also has biological effects. Touching stimulates the production of oxytocin, the hormone that deepens human bonding


*Separate Bed Solution: “Make a real effort to stay touchy-feely during the day. Don’t just walk by each other; stop for a casual kiss or a loving pat. Hold hands on the couch and cuddle while you watch TV in the evening before bed,” suggested Beverly Hills psychiatrist Dr. Carole Lieberman, author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their. “Couples need to make an extra effort if they sleep apart to consciously make up for the loss of loving touch. It’s not only important for holding onto the romance — touch is vital to emotional and physical health.”


2. Engage in pillow talk-When falling asleep with your partner there are often unplanned conversations that occur in the privacy of the bed.


*Separate Bed Solution: Try to have the conversation and allow yourself to fall asleep in the same bed. This can be achieved with the understanding that the other will slip into another bedroom if their sleep is disrupted. The pillow chat can be continued the next day in an intimate setting such as on a porch, in front of a fire, or another cozy, romantic place in the home.


3. Plan your sex sessions-When couples are no longer sleeping together, experts recommend scheduling romps in the sheets to avoid having less sex. However, psychologists do find that couples sleeping in separate bedrooms appear to have a deeper desire to have sex.


*Separate Bed Solution: “Instead of the ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ effect that sleeping together can bring — along with morning breath and bed head — you can present yourself at your most appetizing best,” said Lieberman. Women are encouraged to wear lingerie as opposed to boring flannel pajamas. Couples are also advised to create a “love nest” atmosphere by lighting candles and inviting their partner over to the bed they wouldn’t normally sleep.


4. Create other ways to sustain the emotional connection-Don’t let the everyday routines of life keep you from connecting with each other emotionally.


*Separate Bed Solution: “Look for ways to be able to lie down together, even if it’s not sleeping with each other every night. Just some quiet time [spent] holding each other can help deepen your relationship,” says Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, psychologist and author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. Scheduling dates one night a week outside or inside of the homes can help rekindle the flame. “You shouldn’t sleep and eat separately — or it’s a recipe for disaster and divorce,” said Lieberman.


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