Evelyn Lozada Admits Behavior Problems in Open Letter

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  • Evelyn Lozada has been the topic of reality television conversation all season long since being the center of most of the controversy on “Basketball Wives.”

    From throwing bottles at fellow cast mates and fighting to playing practical jokes, she has not displayed much lady-likeness.

    When Star Jones called her out and an uproar of television watchers boycotted the show, and her stepdaughter also began to mock her heinous acts at home, she finally realized that her behavior has been pretty ridiculous.

    In a letter to her 7-year-old self that Lozada shared  with The Huffington Post, she apologizes for her destructive behavior on the show, reflects on issues of self-esteem and the effects of her upbringing on her behavior, and acknowledges her mistakes.

    She opens up about feeling “painfully small,” and recalls the days when she “drowned out the fighting and drama” in her house as a child.

    Read Evelyn’s heartfelt letter below:

    From the Desk of Evelyn Lozada

    Dear Mija,

    In exactly twenty-nine years you’re going to find yourself at the middle of a mess that you unwillingly helped to create. You’re going to be the topic of a discussion about women on a national level that won’t be one of your proudest moments. And as large as your life may be at that time, the truth is that you’re going to feel painfully small.

    You’ll look through the rearview mirror of your life and see a mountain of mistakes. You’ll realize that although it appears that you’re living out a dream, your 7-year-old self could never picture this near-nightmare at 36. You’ll remember the days when you drowned out the fighting and drama in your own house and the negativity of the women you loved who ultimately shape who you will become. You’ll recall the moments when you sat in front of the television each day after school in search of someone positive and found Oprah and wondered if people like her would ever be a part of your life, or if you’d always have the jaded ones you watched on Jerry Springer.

    You’ll make no excuses for your actions, as a matter of fact, you’ll find yourself in tears at the "Ah-ha moment" Star Jones forces you to have. Beyond what you’ll initially perceive as a malicious attack by Star lives a hard truth that will shake you to your core. YOU are the little girl, she’s talking about. And it hadn’t dawned on you the effects that your grown-up actions were having on the next generation of little ones who watch negative and abusive moments unfold on television.

    It’ll take the moment when you see and hear your future stepdaughters pretending to be “you” after watching you behave badly on T.V., that you’ll actually feel real shame. Knowing that the self image they were imitating was the very ‘image of self’ you will so desperately try to escape. In utter embarrassment, you’ll find yourself explaining your unacceptable behavior to them, reaching for the imprint of encouragement felt by Star, Oprah, our First Lady Michelle Obama and other positive women of color that have gone before you and that are prayerfully standing behind you, encouraging you, willing you to stand in the space God will so graciously provide for you.” It’ll be the wakeup call you need.

    Until now, you’d never put a race, or face or even an age to the eyes that idolize you or see you as an example: be it good or bad. And although, conscious now, you’ll carry the fear of failure with you each second because deep down, you’ll realize that you yourself had never been taught better.

    I cannot promise you perfection, Mija. I cannot say that overnight, I’m going to get it right every time. What I will promise you is that I will always remain conscious that little eyes like yours are watching me and because of that, I will try to be better.

    Learning to love you more,

    Evelyn

     

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    14 thoughts on “Evelyn Lozada Admits Behavior Problems in Open Letter

    1. Can someone please pay me to come on television and act a fool? Why is this so interesting to everyone. My husband’s family is REALLY show. I mean REALLY! Please let me know if there is a spot for them. No training or anything needed.

    2. Can someone please pay me to come on television and act a fool? Why is this so interesting to everyone. My husband’s family is REALLY show. I mean REALLY! Please let me know if there is a spot for them. No training or anything needed.

    3. Can someone please pay me to come on television and act a fool? Why is this so interesting to everyone. My husband’s family is REALLY show. I mean REALLY! Please let me know if there is a spot for them. No training or anything needed.

    4. Star Jones cannot stand to see her ex-husband Al on this show! That said, I love the show, I will continue to watch the show and I love Evelyn. Why are we not hearing all this negativity towards shows like Mob Wives? Is it because beautiful light skin black women are making money? I believe this show is showcasing a lot of the problems in our race (the anger, the violence, the jealousy, etc.) , especially among black women and will show how they came to their resolutions. This letter explains a lot of what happens in the home of children and how it shapes their lives and their emotions. I love it!
      I see this show as a learning experience!

    5. it`s not just her it`s all of them doing the fussin fightin and back stabbin and shaunie knew this but loved the ratings.

    6. In the words of her man Chad, “Chile Puhlease”. Growth is clearly a beautiful thing, but she did not change that much over night. Karma is an ugly b!tch in the face; she lost a good friend (Jennifer), sponsors dodged BBW bullets on her and the show, her man lost his job, she has two law suits pending on her hands… I have always said Evil Ev is a she-devil and her twin Tami Roman is the devil in disguise 10-fold. I have never seen two grown women with so much hate and bipolar ignorance inside of them despite their baggage. Foolery is just not called for no matter the situation or issues…

      BTW– I use to work as a proofer and that letter is bogus! It’s nearly too perfect and too fitting for her actions…no one is that perfect in thoughts. Hmmm

    7. And BTW- what else nags at me about this woman and the show she represents is that, so much attention has been drawn to “her ignorance” alone that represents women of color. Also how the ladies put down some of the other women…Tami in particular, how she talks to the women like she’s their mother or boss just in order to stay representative to that crap. Only on TV though by the way is still in public…They just have some weak & insecure women on that show…with the exception of a few.

    8. Uhhhh did u finally grow up and mature to be the oh so positive woman, mother n wife you should have been all along? Your daughter n others are watching.

    9. Uhhhh did u finally grow up and mature to be the oh so positive woman, mother n wife you should have been all along? Your daughter n others are watching.

    10. And the drama continues…Now that Ochopsycho is no longer a patriot and no other teams appear to be interested, what’s next? According to Ev’s twitter, she ‘ll probably use this as an excuse to get out of the supposedly upcoming nuptials. I wish she wouldn’t cut and run. I thik they deserve each other (lol). Apparently somebody bigger than you and I is tired of this whole mess. And rightly so! I am so sick of the Ochocincos, lozadas, kardashians, tami romans, shaunis, suzi ketchams and the rest of the gutter minded folks capitalizing on ignorance. We have worked too hard, too long for this to be represented as the conduct of proper African-American women and their friends and families.

    11. Too late! Funny thing how real reality slaps u in the face after making an utter fool of yourself. Now threatened with TV extinction this group of “Mean Girls” wants to clean it up. You’ve whored yourself out and put on modern day mistrel shows and now with an out of work diva fiancee on your hands hopefully your life is headed for hard times.

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