In my most recent “In Deep Waters” series, which features the TJMS’ own Jacque Reid, Sandy “Pepa” Denton and their friends Joumanna Kidd and Kittie Troy, we discuss the top three things that women really desire from their man.
Check out this compelling video for yourself. (Click here for Part Three.)
Some of the key things the women said they need were:
– A man who believes in God.
– A man that they can have fun with.
– A man who would accept their kids or, in Jacque’s case, her dog, Sugar Shane.
– A man that looks good or who’s attractive to them.
– Respect, meaning a man who honors his woman by doing what she needs to feel loved by him. Also meaning he’s not going to put her in a predicament where other women can disrespect her because of something he did.
– A man who can disarm her but who knows how to talk to her in away that she can receive – with love, warmth and authority.
– A man who’s ready to have a family and build a life together.
– A man who’s graduated from the “he’s got potential” phase – one who is successful enough to add to her life, who can either help her maintain and/or enhance her current lifestyle.
– A man with confidence
The overall component that all of these women wanted was “a man With a plan.” I think that really sums it up.
When I posed the question about black men in particular who may not meet their socio/economic requirements – especially in this economy – the conversation got very intense.
The consensus was that at this point in their lives, as women in their 30s and beyond, they no longer have the time or desire to mother a man. He needs to be a ready-made man who’s ready to move forward with a real woman in a manner that makes sense for them both. After a certain point, these women aren’t willing to “see where things go” without a plan to solidify the direction of the relationship. What they wanted from a man was someone who wanted to be there – in the game of life with them on purpose, for a purpose.
Here’s my “Direct” point: Love is not enough. Two people need to come together liking one another, respecting one another and communicating effectively basically being on one accord. I believe women are looking for a partner and a leader, someone who sees her for who she really is and celebrates her. Someone who’s done fishing and testing the waters because he realizes he’s found the best fish in the sea for him.
By the way, when do men stop fishing?
Finally, I believe women want a man that they can trust, admire and enjoy – spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, socially, sexually and financially.
What do you think women really want?
Deya “Direct” Smith is a producer on “The Tom Joyner Morning Show” and host of Girlfriend FM and Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews on BlackAmericaWeb.com. She is also a motivational speaker, actress and social commentator. She can be reached at DeyaDirect@aol.com.
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/7-10/14)
25 photos Launch gallery
1. Nite | to the tune of @cnn 😞
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2. Got so much work to do but I just wanna stay in bed and binge watch #Gameofthrones and start the new season of #OnceUponATime. I know I can't be the only one. Right? Ha 💤🦁🍂 #saturday
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3. Mommy's weekend turn up ❤️👶🏾💕🍼 Wouldn't trade it for nothing. #TeamNoSleep lol #HesMyBiggestBlessing ✨
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4. One of them oh shit mont we made it feelings … this shit still be unreal 💯💪🏾 @remyboymonty1738
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5. Tickets Available October 14 @ticketmaster.
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6. People magazine Home edition has raided my house! Get a sneak peek into the bedroom life of the Leakes and see other parts of my home now at PEOPLE.COM
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7. They want to kick you when you down, but kick it when you up
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8. Got my advance copy of #Mafia3 at @gamestop. Get yours via link in the bio #Mafia3 #Ad
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9. This is some of the cast and our diverse team of writers in the writer's room creating funny sh*t for @nbcmarlon what a fun room! Lots of jokes, great stories and having a great time doing what we love... making people laugh and feel something. Look out for our show next year @nbcmarlon we bringing sitcoms back to NBC
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10. #HappySunday☀️Thank you @4everbrandy101 💛💡💛
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11. Happy to be back in Central Falls, RI breaking ground for the One Stop Health Center and hosting a local community event with #Vaseline.
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12. Thank you all in advance 💋💋💋 #Repost @urbansvintage・・・#TarajiPHenson's memoir #AroundTheWayGirl will be available everywhere TODAY October 11th! Will you be purchasing a copy? #UrbansVintage
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13. Moms got my back
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14. @galore dinner party glo ✨ thanks to @styledbygiigii
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15. 🌹#ThisIsWhatTheTruthFeelsLikeTOUR #forevereve
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16. Yes, all those videos I've been posting have led to this: the introduction of skincare to @TYRABeauty! This is the rundown on the new line:Years of research and beauty tips I live by led me to produce the most effective and delightful skincare out there. I'm all about taking really good care of my skin, so I can look like I'm aging in #TyraYears and go filter free on Instagram when I feel like it! Now, it's your turn. ✨My Mama always told me not to wash my face with just my hands. "Tyra, girl, you're just moving the dirt around!" And I've listened. First up is The Clean Machine.... ...a 3-in-1 foaming face wash that cleanses, removes makeup and purified your skin. It has patented technology - a attached Turbo Cleansing Tool - to give you that deep clean that makes your skin feel super fresh. Wanna know more? Yeah, baby. Click that link in my bio.
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17. On set of #beingmaryjane like... ❤️😬💃🏾
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18. #carouselofhope@yvetteshelton100@makeupbylatrice @thestacetheface@marialuciahohan24
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19. I refuse to let a little cold stop me from my daily routines to greatness. #onlythestrongsurvive #warriors
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20. Big things begin with big THINKING... #BusinessEthics #SetLife 🎥
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21. Goodnight - here's a song
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22. Words can't explain the feeling that I have right now.....God is good. look momma I made it. #Harts #Blessed #WhatNow #comedicrockstarshit #4DaysAway
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23. I tried to get a better video with out the nasty bib but she started getting mad at me..lol! Big cuz @the_queen_caitlin trying to show her what to do. #MamasToots #HeirBear👑💜
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24. Gorgeous Serena joined Beyoncé in Formation last night on stage in New Jersey!!!
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25. 😜 @lifeofdesiigner & @rockohill
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