In my most recent “In Deep Waters” series, which features the TJMS’ own Jacque Reid, Sandy “Pepa” Denton and their friends Joumanna Kidd and Kittie Troy, we discuss the top three things that women really desire from their man.
Check out this compelling video for yourself. (Click here for Part Three.)
Some of the key things the women said they need were:
– A man who believes in God.
– A man that they can have fun with.
– A man who would accept their kids or, in Jacque’s case, her dog, Sugar Shane.
– A man that looks good or who’s attractive to them.
– Respect, meaning a man who honors his woman by doing what she needs to feel loved by him. Also meaning he’s not going to put her in a predicament where other women can disrespect her because of something he did.
– A man who can disarm her but who knows how to talk to her in away that she can receive – with love, warmth and authority.
– A man who’s ready to have a family and build a life together.
– A man who’s graduated from the “he’s got potential” phase – one who is successful enough to add to her life, who can either help her maintain and/or enhance her current lifestyle.
– A man with confidence
The overall component that all of these women wanted was “a man With a plan.” I think that really sums it up.
When I posed the question about black men in particular who may not meet their socio/economic requirements – especially in this economy – the conversation got very intense.
The consensus was that at this point in their lives, as women in their 30s and beyond, they no longer have the time or desire to mother a man. He needs to be a ready-made man who’s ready to move forward with a real woman in a manner that makes sense for them both. After a certain point, these women aren’t willing to “see where things go” without a plan to solidify the direction of the relationship. What they wanted from a man was someone who wanted to be there – in the game of life with them on purpose, for a purpose.
Here’s my “Direct” point: Love is not enough. Two people need to come together liking one another, respecting one another and communicating effectively basically being on one accord. I believe women are looking for a partner and a leader, someone who sees her for who she really is and celebrates her. Someone who’s done fishing and testing the waters because he realizes he’s found the best fish in the sea for him.
By the way, when do men stop fishing?
Finally, I believe women want a man that they can trust, admire and enjoy – spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, socially, sexually and financially.
What do you think women really want?
Deya “Direct” Smith is a producer on “The Tom Joyner Morning Show” and host of Girlfriend FM and Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews on BlackAmericaWeb.com. She is also a motivational speaker, actress and social commentator. She can be reached at DeyaDirect@aol.com.
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (11/26-12/2)
30 photos Launch gallery
1. Little Legend and Puddy 😍😍😍😍
1 of 30
2. "You on point Phife?" "all the time,Tip". 💥 #bannedfromnormal
2 of 30
3. Vegan! The Impossible burger at Crossroads
3 of 30
4. Lawrence #BeforeandAfterEpisodes 1-4: 184lbs 13% body fatEpisode 8: 196lbs 8% body fat S/O @coachdaveboxing with the works outs and @kildareriordan with the nutrition
4 of 30
5. Jus haaaanngin out
5 of 30
6. Meanwhile back at home in Atlanta GA someone mad they not on the 🛳. 😳
6 of 30
7. No limits... Photo cred: Chris Bridges @ludacris
7 of 30
8. new new
8 of 30
9. Apparently my 260lbs is too much for the actual vines in the Hawaiian jungles to hold me without breaking and me falling hundreds of feet. So for safety purposes, I'm forced to swing thru #Jumanjj on wires strong enough to hold 12 adult buffaloes and 1 adult Rock. #OnSet #Jumanji #IronicallyIEatBuffaloDailyForLunch #MoreManThanNatureKnowsWhatToDoWith
9 of 30
10. hey ma! 🎎#wcw 💙
10 of 30
11. Surprise visit to our factories!!! #GoodAmerican #USA
11 of 30
12 of 30
13. Peachy Keen 🔥✨⚡️
13 of 30
14. If this don't look thankful I don't know what does. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. #UltraBlessed #24kMagic #SweetPotatoFly
14 of 30
15. Late nights @nbcmarlon with the writers... we in here!!!
15 of 30
16. There goes my baaaaaaaaabbbbyyyyy #QueenKingMagic!!! We're up to something! Ira BIG!!! Stay out our buisness -
16 of 30
17. You want to win every game you play but when you come home to these faces... who cares. #ILoveYouGirls best part of my day, everyday!
17 of 30
18. Steady,steady..... full size jenga.. "I got this one "???? Or do I ?
18 of 30
19. Cornrows kind of day 😉@dontaysavoy2 you convinced me and I love. ❤️️
19 of 30
20. #BrotherlyLove #tbt
20 of 30
21 of 30
22. #basel #TeamLOVE @kingcombs
22 of 30
23. Just introduced a special screening of @directher 's groundbreaking (must see) documentary @13thfilm with my brother @themichaelealy | @unitedblackout #blackoutblackfriday
23 of 30
24. Me & Vanessa Williams giving #DuckLips #Pose on the set of #DaytimeDivas @vh1 - Coming Soon to a tv near you. Lol. - My make up done by @makeupsurgeon
24 of 30
25. This picture just makes me wanna praise the Lord, you hear me!!!!!! Yes Lord brotha #TEDDYCAMPBELL What a #man !!! You are everything right on this picture husband ......... #gorgeous #stylish #classy #strong #masculine #king #sexy #debonair #gentlemenstyle And that #bible in your hand just seals the deal for me (probably cause i know that, that is what helped you become just as amazing as you look😘). While my heart and mind experiences the goodness of God at #church on Sundays, my eyes experiences the goodness of Teddy😍. Amen somebody🙌🏽. "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name" #myman #myhusband #goodman #blackman #dapperman #godlyman #goodfather #mybestfriend
25 of 30
26. Yesterday was my mama's 53rd birthday!!!!! Got to celebrate with her all day. If this is what I have to look forward to I can't wait. Looking like a soft bucket a cocoa butter. Yaaaaaaaaaas! 😍😍😍 love you mommy!
26 of 30
27. "Shout out to @PureAtlanta for getting the family right"....I'm loving this jogger. 😍😍
27 of 30
28. This pic warms my heart ❤️ #myLogiebeans and aunt aunt umba @itowandabraxton 😘
28 of 30
29. You will always be my baby😜. #HappyBirthdayReginae #mybaby18
29 of 30
30. GC "Gods Child" Red on Red SweatSuit available now at www.MonicaApparel.com ... Take Your Crown wherever you go!! I'm pictured in a Medium... Go to the site now for other options ... cc: @trukernell
30 of 30