We all have that crucial moment in our adult lives where we have to face what seems like an insurmountable challenge. It could be the death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship, the loss of a job or a devastating illness. And then there are days when you forget to pay the water bill, you take the heat at work for something that wasn’t your fault or a stranger asks you if you’re pregnant when you aren’t! (Sorry, had to vent.) The point is we all face moments in our lives where we are out there by ourselves, and no one can save us but us. Or so we think.
I believe it happens like this because the only thing that will make us look beyond our situation and to God is trouble. When we find ourselves in the hot seat – and what’s hot for me may be different than what’s hot for you – we are forced to take some kind of action. The question is which kind and what will we learn from it?
One of my favorite quotes reads, “Successful people are bigger than their problems.” Doesn’t mean they don’t have them; just that they choose to rise above them. Too often, we look at others who have already moved into the penthouse in the sky – having attained a certain amount of wealth, success or both – and assume they no longer have problems. Of course, the Notorious B.I.G. did a lot to dispel those myths with his chart-busting hit, “Mo Money Mo Problems.”
Successful people have just as many – if not more – problems than most. It kind of comes with the territory. LL Cool J said it best: “Thieves only come to loaded vaults.” Success doesn’t erase problems, so we might as well learn to deal with them now. Penthouse residents just deal with life’s challenges differently. They raise up off the hot seat and do what needs to be done to not only conquer problems, but learn from them. (Don’t believe me? Ask Vickie Winans – like I did!)
A friend recently told me, “You can either lay in it and die, or you can get up and get on.” And though you may feel at that particular moment that you are going to die from the stress, pressure, sadness or pain – that really isn’t an option. So we get up, and we get on. Of course, the process of moving on and what that looks like is as varied as the situations that landed us on the hot seat to begin with. For you, it may be a giant leap of faith, while for me, it may be slowly putting one foot in front of the other. And then, for some, the process is right down the middle.
There is one common denominator – I alluded to it earlier – and that is action. You must do SOMETHING in order to get on with the business of living a happy and healthy life.
It may at times seem like it’s easier said than done, but it’s not. And you already know everything I’m saying. It’s not brain surgery. Either the problem wins or you do. It’s as simple as that.
But every once in a while, we all need a loving reminder, a gentle nudge. I realize that because many times, that person is me.
So, if this time, you’re the one whose buns I smell burning on that hot seat, consider yourself nudged.
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/15-10/21)
31 photos Launch gallery
1. Just a NY girl with BIG dreams....
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2. HAPPY CHILDREN=QUALITY PARENTING. We don't always see eye to eye on everything and that's normal. We're human beings. But we come together and do it right for what's important, the kids. We are not enemies, we are parents. And we are parents 1st. S/O to @monyettashaw for making Mason's bday memorable. S/O to @itscrystalsmith at home taking care of our other lil' Prince. ❤️❤️❤️ THIS IS WHAT CO-PARENTING LOOKS LIKE. #Blessed #Happy #AboveTheDrama #BiggerThanUs
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3. So happy to finally be able to share with you all that I’m the new Global Brand Ambassador for @Revlon! Follow my day on RevlonSnaps. Yay! Choose Love, Everybody! #RevlonXCiara #chooselove #ad
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4. Glam on point!!!@makeupbymotoko & @shaylinjoneshair #easybreezy @lifetimetv #beachesmovie #january2017 😘
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5. ✨True love ✨📸: @jessiemarrerophotography
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7. Today was not easy..but by the grace of God we all got through it. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of your Prayers, Positive thoughts and Support for us throughout the years. Tommy will be missed but most certainly never forgotten...And PLEASE don't ask "Where's Martin?.." he was there too...just not in this picture. Lol! God bless you all.. #LoveConquersAll #MartinShow
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9. West coast get ready for #RockyHorror. I will be live tweeting again. #letsdothetimewarpagain
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10. #THEKEYS pre order yours now ... Available everywhere #NOV22 #WeTheBest 🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
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11. We about to ROCK at #KCABlackBall!! All for our life-changing effort to end 🌎 AIDS.
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12. Today's #SNAPJACK is brought to you by @yazzthegreatest 😂😂😂💋💋💋
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13. Damn girl you kinda old to be headed to the Go Go. You coming in at the age they leaving. LMAO
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14. Daddy daycare B-Boxin with @acewellstucker @shopraisingace
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15. #FBF Naviyd & URV "LIL MONSTERS"
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16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST LEGENDS IN OUR HIPHOP HISTORY! @snoopdogg CONTINUED BLESSING AND LOVE FAMILY!!!!! REAL OG!
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17. Thank you for a beautiful night VSU! Let's do it again! #HOMECOMING
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18. Had a great time this morning with my familia Erica, Griff & Truth!!
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19. Check out my interview on @essence facebook live. #inmyownwords #nycpromo #day2
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20. #She💋 #tbt #TheCoveAtTheAtlantis #DawgPawsAndAll
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21. Bae #retailtherapy
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22. Why me and @coryhardrict got the same pose... and notee... new mouth #naked
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23. When my husband is my personal 'hype-man'! it kills me every time! 💜😂 #WHATNOW #lostfiles📷
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24. Diggy Simmons
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25. Hand full of @jacquieaiche 💙💎💍 @esnail_la 💅🏾
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26. SuperSoulers! You can watch my interview with Carl Lentz live from my Facebook page, tomorrow at 11a ET| 8a PT. #SuperSoulSunday
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27. 💋 .. When the friendship is easy like Sunday morning. ☀️
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28. Sunday mornings are the best........... hugs and cuddles with my angel
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29. #huggar16 #hellohuggars
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30. My gym is everywhere!.. #RnBMoney #TheGeneral 📸: @twelvepastseven
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31. Nothing I would rather be doing... Rocko setting up our movie, Romelō working on a puzzle & Laiyah singing and sharing all she's learning at school... I'm so grateful for the joy they've brought into my life ... Praying for peace , joy & love in the home of EVERY family ♥️ #HeadScarfPJSunday LOL 😂
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