Ask any real mom what’s going on, and she’ll tell you a lot. And if she’s like the moms I know, she aint lyin’. But as much time as we spend doing work, church, rehearsals, appointments, school, mani-pedis, yoga, et al, we have to make time to nurture, maintain and rejuvenate our relationships with our men. If you’re “squeezing in time” for your significant other, or used to when you had one, this Mama is talking to you.
Nothing taught me more about what men want and need more than having two little boys. Not to minimize their needs or to put them on a child’s level, but it’s clear to me that my when boys become men, many of their basic needs will stay the same. They want to be fed. They want to be hugged. They want to be praised, even when – no, especially when – they seem like they need it least.
Click here to hear Nikki Woods’ “What in the Weekend?” report.
If you watch the latest episode of “Mamas Gone Wild,” you’ll hear moms talking about how, by the time they get home, give their kids dinner, help them with homework and get a moment from themselves, when bed time comes, they no longer have that much to give. That means they’re giving their men the bare minimum, the corner, the leftovers … whatever you want to call it, it isn’t enough. And it’s something we all need to work on. Sometimes it goes beyond not having time to spend with our mates; it’s the attitudes we have when we’re with them. If we’re rolling our eyes, working our necks, complaining about work, griping about the kids and barking out orders to them, that isn’t sexy at all. Sometimes all they want is a smile and a hug.
I can hear some of you already: “What about what I need? I’ve been driving these kids around all day! I’ve been in meetings with my boss all afternoon! I’m the one the teacher calls when the homework we worked on the evening before never makes it to the classroom!” Okay, stop, take a deep breath and exhale. We’ve got a “Mamas Gone Wild” episode coming up just for you in the near future. We hear you, we feel you, we got you … but not today.
Let’s look at our men – our black men in particular. If they’re working, I can almost guarantee that the pressure they get and disrespect they are shown is an issue. If the president of the United States is getting it, just imagine what it’s like at your man’s job. And if he isn’t working OR is under employed and/or making less than you are, that adds a whole other level. “Mamas Gone Wild” guest Kimberly had the word of the week: Emasculate.” If you don’t know what it means, look it up, and then make it a point not to do it. It happens in all kinds of ways that we may not even be aware of too. When you clown him in front of the kids, when you talk about what he hasn’t done instead of what he has done, when you don’t lift him up in more ways then one, you’re insulting him as a man.
Yes, we have a lot of jobs to do, and one of them is to make our men, if they’re making an effort, happy to be at home.
We dig deep in meetings. We dig deep for our kids. We are mothers; we know how to make something out of nothing. So, when it’s almost gone, let’s work our magic and go the extra mile to let our men know they’re appreciated.
Click here for the fifth and latest episode of “Mamas Gone Wild.”
Nikki Woods is senior producer of “The Tom Joyner Morning Show.” The author of “Easier Said Than Done,” the Dallas-based Woods is currently working on her second and third novels. You can friend her on Facebook or follow her on Twitter: @nikkiwoods.
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/15-10/21)
31 photos Launch gallery
1. Just a NY girl with BIG dreams....
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2. HAPPY CHILDREN=QUALITY PARENTING. We don't always see eye to eye on everything and that's normal. We're human beings. But we come together and do it right for what's important, the kids. We are not enemies, we are parents. And we are parents 1st. S/O to @monyettashaw for making Mason's bday memorable. S/O to @itscrystalsmith at home taking care of our other lil' Prince. ❤️❤️❤️ THIS IS WHAT CO-PARENTING LOOKS LIKE. #Blessed #Happy #AboveTheDrama #BiggerThanUs
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3. So happy to finally be able to share with you all that I’m the new Global Brand Ambassador for @Revlon! Follow my day on RevlonSnaps. Yay! Choose Love, Everybody! #RevlonXCiara #chooselove #ad
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4. Glam on point!!!@makeupbymotoko & @shaylinjoneshair #easybreezy @lifetimetv #beachesmovie #january2017 😘
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5. ✨True love ✨📸: @jessiemarrerophotography
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7. Today was not easy..but by the grace of God we all got through it. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of your Prayers, Positive thoughts and Support for us throughout the years. Tommy will be missed but most certainly never forgotten...And PLEASE don't ask "Where's Martin?.." he was there too...just not in this picture. Lol! God bless you all.. #LoveConquersAll #MartinShow
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9. West coast get ready for #RockyHorror. I will be live tweeting again. #letsdothetimewarpagain
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10. #THEKEYS pre order yours now ... Available everywhere #NOV22 #WeTheBest 🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
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11. We about to ROCK at #KCABlackBall!! All for our life-changing effort to end 🌎 AIDS.
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12. Today's #SNAPJACK is brought to you by @yazzthegreatest 😂😂😂💋💋💋
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13. Damn girl you kinda old to be headed to the Go Go. You coming in at the age they leaving. LMAO
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14. Daddy daycare B-Boxin with @acewellstucker @shopraisingace
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15. #FBF Naviyd & URV "LIL MONSTERS"
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16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST LEGENDS IN OUR HIPHOP HISTORY! @snoopdogg CONTINUED BLESSING AND LOVE FAMILY!!!!! REAL OG!
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17. Thank you for a beautiful night VSU! Let's do it again! #HOMECOMING
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18. Had a great time this morning with my familia Erica, Griff & Truth!!
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19. Check out my interview on @essence facebook live. #inmyownwords #nycpromo #day2
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20. #She💋 #tbt #TheCoveAtTheAtlantis #DawgPawsAndAll
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21. Bae #retailtherapy
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22. Why me and @coryhardrict got the same pose... and notee... new mouth #naked
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23. When my husband is my personal 'hype-man'! it kills me every time! 💜😂 #WHATNOW #lostfiles📷
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24. Diggy Simmons
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25. Hand full of @jacquieaiche 💙💎💍 @esnail_la 💅🏾
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26. SuperSoulers! You can watch my interview with Carl Lentz live from my Facebook page, tomorrow at 11a ET| 8a PT. #SuperSoulSunday
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27. 💋 .. When the friendship is easy like Sunday morning. ☀️
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28. Sunday mornings are the best........... hugs and cuddles with my angel
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29. #huggar16 #hellohuggars
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30. My gym is everywhere!.. #RnBMoney #TheGeneral 📸: @twelvepastseven
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31. Nothing I would rather be doing... Rocko setting up our movie, Romelō working on a puzzle & Laiyah singing and sharing all she's learning at school... I'm so grateful for the joy they've brought into my life ... Praying for peace , joy & love in the home of EVERY family ♥️ #HeadScarfPJSunday LOL 😂
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