So, how do you top off spending three weeks straight on the road with your co-workers, much of it on a bus with one bathroom? Hanging out at a strip club with a friend/date in NYC probably wasn’t the first answer that popped into your head. And it wasn’t on my bucket list either, but I’m no punk so when he told me that after dinner we were going to swing by some of the restaurants and clubs that his company provides security for – a strip club included – the dare was implied and I didn’t blink. In fact, I slid on my stilettos and skinny jeans and decided to approach the whole adventure as a social experiment.
I’ll wait a second to let all the judgment come my way. There’s more? All right, bring it on. Ok, I got it, thanks!
Now as I said, before, I’m no punk but really, the whole stripper thing doesn’t carry the stigma it once did. Not only do a lot of gyms offer stripper pole workout classes, but for $79 you can purchase a pole for in-home use. Yeah – I Googled it! Besides research says that only 14 percent of men go to strip clubs on a regular basis and more often than not, they take their female friends with them.
Now we already know when men frequent strip clubs, they are not there to see their wives or even their girlfriends; they’re there to escape. But I think in some cases, they are there to escape in a good way.
That’s not to say men don’t want some element of what they’re seeing on the stage in their bedrooms or hers. It is a little erotic and different to watch men watch women when it’s all out in the open. They’re not trying to do that weird side look that doesn’t fool anybody. And maybe that’s why maybe 30 percent of the clientele at the club we were at were females, some with their mates or dates, some there to meet single guys and some there to meet single women.
Going with a guy I’m not in a serious relationship with who has professional reasons for being there, was the only way I would initially consider going to a strip club. And even though I’ve never had any previous desire to go, I have to admit that after being there for a few minutes, I was intrigued. In fact, I felt a little guilty that I didn’t feel worse about being at a strip club.
So, I confess that the whole social experiment theory was originally just something I used to make myself feel better, but at some point it changed. It was like being a fly on the wall and having a chance to see a side of men and women that I wouldn’t normally see. I started wondering about the women that make taking their clothes off a career and the men that would possibly risk a relationship to watch them do it.
Yes, there was part of me who felt that the women dancing were being exploited and the people who patronize those types of clubs are indirectly contributing to all the negativity that goes along with that lifestyle — prostitution and drug abuse, not to mention the whole issue of objectifying women.
But if you’re not looking to go that deep, and to be honest, I really wasn’t, maybe we can admit that being a part of a man’s fantasy, checking out what he really likes, and him feeling you’re cool enough to share that part of life with him is not that bad. I know things can get a lot rougher or worse than what I saw, but that night, I saw men get the same type of satisfaction as a lot of women do when we hang out with our girls, especially when drinking is involved. For most, the music and the girls were more of a backdrop as they drank and talked to each other. I wouldn’t want any man I’m serious about to hang out at a strip club for any inordinate amount of time, or anywhere else for that matter.
But if he needs to be somewhere where he’s sure I won’t show up every once in awhile and see something different than he normally sees, I say go for it. Then bring it on home and make it rain!
Now, it still ain’t right but after my “social experiment” at least I can understand.
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (11/26-12/2)
30 photos Launch gallery
1. Little Legend and Puddy 😍😍😍😍
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2. "You on point Phife?" "all the time,Tip". 💥 #bannedfromnormal
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3. Vegan! The Impossible burger at Crossroads
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4. Lawrence #BeforeandAfterEpisodes 1-4: 184lbs 13% body fatEpisode 8: 196lbs 8% body fat S/O @coachdaveboxing with the works outs and @kildareriordan with the nutrition
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5. Jus haaaanngin out
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6. Meanwhile back at home in Atlanta GA someone mad they not on the 🛳. 😳
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7. No limits... Photo cred: Chris Bridges @ludacris
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8. new new
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9. Apparently my 260lbs is too much for the actual vines in the Hawaiian jungles to hold me without breaking and me falling hundreds of feet. So for safety purposes, I'm forced to swing thru #Jumanjj on wires strong enough to hold 12 adult buffaloes and 1 adult Rock. #OnSet #Jumanji #IronicallyIEatBuffaloDailyForLunch #MoreManThanNatureKnowsWhatToDoWith
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10. hey ma! 🎎#wcw 💙
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11. Surprise visit to our factories!!! #GoodAmerican #USA
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13. Peachy Keen 🔥✨⚡️
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14. If this don't look thankful I don't know what does. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. #UltraBlessed #24kMagic #SweetPotatoFly
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15. Late nights @nbcmarlon with the writers... we in here!!!
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16. There goes my baaaaaaaaabbbbyyyyy #QueenKingMagic!!! We're up to something! Ira BIG!!! Stay out our buisness -
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17. You want to win every game you play but when you come home to these faces... who cares. #ILoveYouGirls best part of my day, everyday!
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18. Steady,steady..... full size jenga.. "I got this one "???? Or do I ?
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19. Cornrows kind of day 😉@dontaysavoy2 you convinced me and I love. ❤️️
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20. #BrotherlyLove #tbt
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22. #basel #TeamLOVE @kingcombs
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23. Just introduced a special screening of @directher 's groundbreaking (must see) documentary @13thfilm with my brother @themichaelealy | @unitedblackout #blackoutblackfriday
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24. Me & Vanessa Williams giving #DuckLips #Pose on the set of #DaytimeDivas @vh1 - Coming Soon to a tv near you. Lol. - My make up done by @makeupsurgeon
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25. This picture just makes me wanna praise the Lord, you hear me!!!!!! Yes Lord brotha #TEDDYCAMPBELL What a #man !!! You are everything right on this picture husband ......... #gorgeous #stylish #classy #strong #masculine #king #sexy #debonair #gentlemenstyle And that #bible in your hand just seals the deal for me (probably cause i know that, that is what helped you become just as amazing as you look😘). While my heart and mind experiences the goodness of God at #church on Sundays, my eyes experiences the goodness of Teddy😍. Amen somebody🙌🏽. "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name" #myman #myhusband #goodman #blackman #dapperman #godlyman #goodfather #mybestfriend
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26. Yesterday was my mama's 53rd birthday!!!!! Got to celebrate with her all day. If this is what I have to look forward to I can't wait. Looking like a soft bucket a cocoa butter. Yaaaaaaaaaas! 😍😍😍 love you mommy!
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27. "Shout out to @PureAtlanta for getting the family right"....I'm loving this jogger. 😍😍
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28. This pic warms my heart ❤️ #myLogiebeans and aunt aunt umba @itowandabraxton 😘
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29. You will always be my baby😜. #HappyBirthdayReginae #mybaby18
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30. GC "Gods Child" Red on Red SweatSuit available now at www.MonicaApparel.com ... Take Your Crown wherever you go!! I'm pictured in a Medium... Go to the site now for other options ... cc: @trukernell
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