The Oprah Winfrey-Whitney Houston interview is the epitome of good girl “image” loving the bad boy. The truth is no one is all good, and no one is all bad. But there is something very true about women being attracted to certain characteristics in a man that make us feel good, excited and safe. Yes, I said it: grown, independent, professional women want to feel protected – covered, even – by her man.
In this week’s Girlfriend FM, I talked to R&B diva LeToya Luckett (click here to see BAW exclusive video with LeToya) about why she loves a bad boy. Also this week, we continue our series about getting more men which is “why good girls love bad boys (Click here to listen).
The best scenario for me and many of the women that I know is a man who can keep us on our toes and keep things interesting with his swagger; challenge our minds with his intellect; stimulate our hearts with his spirituality and protect us by handling his business inside and outside of the bedroom. On the protection tip, I am not talking about a man who’s going to throw down in the streets, but instead who makes decisions in life to protect himself and his family, like being led by God, paying his bills on time, choosing his family above all else and strategically planning for the health and wealth of our future. As a woman in my 30’s, that’s what I think is gangsta. And when you do all of this with confidence and authority, all the girlie in me comes out.
I talked with relationship expert Ladawn Black, and the conclusion we came to is that women really do want a good guy, but they must first meet their bad-boy quota. After a certain point in life, every woman should re-evaluate what makes sense for her life, including her love life. Certain things that bad boys do get really old, unfulfilling and very unproductive after a while. Who has time for the games, un-returned phone calls, multiple women and lack-of-commitment issues?
Speaking of commitment issues, what’s up with this trend of men wanting to have children with a woman but not marry her? I’m not talking about a baby-mama mistake; I’m talking about planning to have children but refusing to marry his lady – or wanting her to have the child, but he’ll raise the kid. Stay tuned for that conversation.
Sometimes women want the bad in a guy to quell the bad in her. But ultimately, we have to be the good woman that appreciates and respects a good man when he comes our way. So ladies, if the good in your man outweighs the bad, and he helps to bring out the good in you, then work with a brotha.
Finally, once you’re solid in who you are and what you bring to the table, you must do everything in your power to take care of that good woman inside of you – physically, spiritually and mentally. Next week, we’ll end this series with “How to Get More of You.” Remember, no man is worth you losing your sense of self and self worth!
Deya “Direct” Smith is a producer for the Tom Joyner Morning Show. Deya Direct brings you Commentary for your heart, mind, and soul.
To share your topic ideas e-mail DeyaDirect@aol.com or leave a message at 1-800-Joyner2.