The Oprah Winfrey-Whitney Houston interview is the epitome of good girl “image” loving the bad boy. The truth is no one is all good, and no one is all bad. But there is something very true about women being attracted to certain characteristics in a man that make us feel good, excited and safe. Yes, I said it: grown, independent, professional women want to feel protected – covered, even – by her man.
In this week’s Girlfriend FM, I talked to R&B diva LeToya Luckett (click here to see BAW exclusive video with LeToya) about why she loves a bad boy. Also this week, we continue our series about getting more men which is “why good girls love bad boys (Click here to listen).
The best scenario for me and many of the women that I know is a man who can keep us on our toes and keep things interesting with his swagger; challenge our minds with his intellect; stimulate our hearts with his spirituality and protect us by handling his business inside and outside of the bedroom. On the protection tip, I am not talking about a man who’s going to throw down in the streets, but instead who makes decisions in life to protect himself and his family, like being led by God, paying his bills on time, choosing his family above all else and strategically planning for the health and wealth of our future. As a woman in my 30’s, that’s what I think is gangsta. And when you do all of this with confidence and authority, all the girlie in me comes out.
I talked with relationship expert Ladawn Black, and the conclusion we came to is that women really do want a good guy, but they must first meet their bad-boy quota. After a certain point in life, every woman should re-evaluate what makes sense for her life, including her love life. Certain things that bad boys do get really old, unfulfilling and very unproductive after a while. Who has time for the games, un-returned phone calls, multiple women and lack-of-commitment issues?
Speaking of commitment issues, what’s up with this trend of men wanting to have children with a woman but not marry her? I’m not talking about a baby-mama mistake; I’m talking about planning to have children but refusing to marry his lady – or wanting her to have the child, but he’ll raise the kid. Stay tuned for that conversation.
Sometimes women want the bad in a guy to quell the bad in her. But ultimately, we have to be the good woman that appreciates and respects a good man when he comes our way. So ladies, if the good in your man outweighs the bad, and he helps to bring out the good in you, then work with a brotha.
Finally, once you’re solid in who you are and what you bring to the table, you must do everything in your power to take care of that good woman inside of you – physically, spiritually and mentally. Next week, we’ll end this series with “How to Get More of You.” Remember, no man is worth you losing your sense of self and self worth!
Deya “Direct” Smith is a producer for the Tom Joyner Morning Show. Deya Direct brings you Commentary for your heart, mind, and soul.
To share your topic ideas e-mail DeyaDirect@aol.com or leave a message at 1-800-Joyner2.
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (11/26-12/2)
30 photos Launch gallery
1. Little Legend and Puddy 😍😍😍😍
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2. "You on point Phife?" "all the time,Tip". 💥 #bannedfromnormal
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3. Vegan! The Impossible burger at Crossroads
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4. Lawrence #BeforeandAfterEpisodes 1-4: 184lbs 13% body fatEpisode 8: 196lbs 8% body fat S/O @coachdaveboxing with the works outs and @kildareriordan with the nutrition
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5. Jus haaaanngin out
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6. Meanwhile back at home in Atlanta GA someone mad they not on the 🛳. 😳
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7. No limits... Photo cred: Chris Bridges @ludacris
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8. new new
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9. Apparently my 260lbs is too much for the actual vines in the Hawaiian jungles to hold me without breaking and me falling hundreds of feet. So for safety purposes, I'm forced to swing thru #Jumanjj on wires strong enough to hold 12 adult buffaloes and 1 adult Rock. #OnSet #Jumanji #IronicallyIEatBuffaloDailyForLunch #MoreManThanNatureKnowsWhatToDoWith
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10. hey ma! 🎎#wcw 💙
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11. Surprise visit to our factories!!! #GoodAmerican #USA
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13. Peachy Keen 🔥✨⚡️
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14. If this don't look thankful I don't know what does. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. #UltraBlessed #24kMagic #SweetPotatoFly
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15. Late nights @nbcmarlon with the writers... we in here!!!
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16. There goes my baaaaaaaaabbbbyyyyy #QueenKingMagic!!! We're up to something! Ira BIG!!! Stay out our buisness -
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17. You want to win every game you play but when you come home to these faces... who cares. #ILoveYouGirls best part of my day, everyday!
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18. Steady,steady..... full size jenga.. "I got this one "???? Or do I ?
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19. Cornrows kind of day 😉@dontaysavoy2 you convinced me and I love. ❤️️
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20. #BrotherlyLove #tbt
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22. #basel #TeamLOVE @kingcombs
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23. Just introduced a special screening of @directher 's groundbreaking (must see) documentary @13thfilm with my brother @themichaelealy | @unitedblackout #blackoutblackfriday
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24. Me & Vanessa Williams giving #DuckLips #Pose on the set of #DaytimeDivas @vh1 - Coming Soon to a tv near you. Lol. - My make up done by @makeupsurgeon
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25. This picture just makes me wanna praise the Lord, you hear me!!!!!! Yes Lord brotha #TEDDYCAMPBELL What a #man !!! You are everything right on this picture husband ......... #gorgeous #stylish #classy #strong #masculine #king #sexy #debonair #gentlemenstyle And that #bible in your hand just seals the deal for me (probably cause i know that, that is what helped you become just as amazing as you look😘). While my heart and mind experiences the goodness of God at #church on Sundays, my eyes experiences the goodness of Teddy😍. Amen somebody🙌🏽. "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name" #myman #myhusband #goodman #blackman #dapperman #godlyman #goodfather #mybestfriend
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26. Yesterday was my mama's 53rd birthday!!!!! Got to celebrate with her all day. If this is what I have to look forward to I can't wait. Looking like a soft bucket a cocoa butter. Yaaaaaaaaaas! 😍😍😍 love you mommy!
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27. "Shout out to @PureAtlanta for getting the family right"....I'm loving this jogger. 😍😍
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28. This pic warms my heart ❤️ #myLogiebeans and aunt aunt umba @itowandabraxton 😘
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29. You will always be my baby😜. #HappyBirthdayReginae #mybaby18
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30. GC "Gods Child" Red on Red SweatSuit available now at www.MonicaApparel.com ... Take Your Crown wherever you go!! I'm pictured in a Medium... Go to the site now for other options ... cc: @trukernell
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