It doesn’t fail. When we go on vacation, shiggity happens. I mean, don’t get me wrong; it happens when we’re working too. But when we’re on vacation, we can’t talk about it on the air, and that sucks.
Like, for example, you may have heard the interview I did with President Barack Obama that aired the Tuesday before Christmas, but since I recorded it on that Monday, I didn’t get a chance to tell you that he phoned in almost an hour late and how stressful that was for me and my staff. Once he was finally on the line, he was as cool as ever, and judging by most of the news from the last two weeks, he was one of the few cool ones. I don’t know if it’s the economy or the holidays, but there were lots of stories about people going smooth off!
Mary J. Blige got so upset when she thought her husband, Kendu, was checking out a waitress, she hauled off and smacked him in the face – in public – at the club! Thanks a lot, Tiger! Note to women: Not EVERY man wants a waitress.
Speaking of Tiger, there was no news of any new women, BUT Tiger was spotted holding hands with one of the, um, young ladies he was seeing before he got busted. Not sure which number she was, but she had to be good one.
By the way, it’s being reported that Elin Woods hit Tiger in the cheekbone with a nine iron and almost knocked out a couple of his teeth. We all assumed that was what happened. Now we know for sure. I guess now when someone says they’re carrying a nine for protection, we can’t assume they’re talking about a gun. Tiger’s birthday was December 30th, and AT&T gave him the worst possible gift – they dropped him as a sponsor. I think it may have been because he used too many “roll-over” minutes. And just think, the cell phone is what got Tiger busted in the first place.
In other news about alleged violence, the king of new jack swing, Teddy Riley, was accused of assaulting his daughters with a guitar from the video game “Rock Band.” Teddy denies inflicting harm on his daughters, but does admit that they are spoiled and said he’s guilty of providing them with too many material things and not enough discipline when they were growing up. Meanwhile, he has to remain 100 yards away from them – after he spent all that money on Christmas gifts. We still don’t know what got the family so upset. Maybe Teddy got mad because the game is full of Beatles’ songs and not one by Guy or BlackStreet. But hitting them with a guitar? If you have a temper, don’t buy a gift that can be used as weapon. He wouldn’t have had this problem if he bought them Snuggie’s, right? Yep, yep.
Speaking of Snuggie’s, did you fall for the hype? Did you buy or receive a Snuggie or those Shape Up Walking Shoes that promise to improve your calves, thighs and booty without ever going near the gym? Did you find your kids a ZuZu Hamster or did you try to trick them with one of the imitations?
We didn’t get to talk about any of that stuff…or the Somali pirates, the Nigerian terrorist (if your Nigerian, hang your head in shame) or Rush Limbaugh’s heart attack or Ivana Trump being escorted off a flight after she cursed out the crew or a woman being arrested for threatening First Lady Michelle Obama. But whether we’re working or vacationing, the news keeps happening, and I think the one thing I learned was everything can now be traced back to one thing. Because even though the woman who was arrested was sent for a mental health examination, she had written love letters and poems and claimed she knew where the president was staying while he vacationed over the holidays. So, you know, in spite of it all, Mrs. Obama had to question the Prez about it.
I can hear it now. “Who exactly is she, and just how crazy?” I know the president was thinking it but couldn’t say, so I’ll say it for him.
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/7-10/14)
25 photos Launch gallery
1. Nite | to the tune of @cnn 😞
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2. Got so much work to do but I just wanna stay in bed and binge watch #Gameofthrones and start the new season of #OnceUponATime. I know I can't be the only one. Right? Ha 💤🦁🍂 #saturday
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3. Mommy's weekend turn up ❤️👶🏾💕🍼 Wouldn't trade it for nothing. #TeamNoSleep lol #HesMyBiggestBlessing ✨
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4. One of them oh shit mont we made it feelings … this shit still be unreal 💯💪🏾 @remyboymonty1738
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5. Tickets Available October 14 @ticketmaster.
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6. People magazine Home edition has raided my house! Get a sneak peek into the bedroom life of the Leakes and see other parts of my home now at PEOPLE.COM
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7. They want to kick you when you down, but kick it when you up
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8. Got my advance copy of #Mafia3 at @gamestop. Get yours via link in the bio #Mafia3 #Ad
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9. This is some of the cast and our diverse team of writers in the writer's room creating funny sh*t for @nbcmarlon what a fun room! Lots of jokes, great stories and having a great time doing what we love... making people laugh and feel something. Look out for our show next year @nbcmarlon we bringing sitcoms back to NBC
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10. #HappySunday☀️Thank you @4everbrandy101 💛💡💛
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11. Happy to be back in Central Falls, RI breaking ground for the One Stop Health Center and hosting a local community event with #Vaseline.
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12. Thank you all in advance 💋💋💋 #Repost @urbansvintage・・・#TarajiPHenson's memoir #AroundTheWayGirl will be available everywhere TODAY October 11th! Will you be purchasing a copy? #UrbansVintage
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13. Moms got my back
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14. @galore dinner party glo ✨ thanks to @styledbygiigii
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15. 🌹#ThisIsWhatTheTruthFeelsLikeTOUR #forevereve
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16. Yes, all those videos I've been posting have led to this: the introduction of skincare to @TYRABeauty! This is the rundown on the new line:Years of research and beauty tips I live by led me to produce the most effective and delightful skincare out there. I'm all about taking really good care of my skin, so I can look like I'm aging in #TyraYears and go filter free on Instagram when I feel like it! Now, it's your turn. ✨My Mama always told me not to wash my face with just my hands. "Tyra, girl, you're just moving the dirt around!" And I've listened. First up is The Clean Machine.... ...a 3-in-1 foaming face wash that cleanses, removes makeup and purified your skin. It has patented technology - a attached Turbo Cleansing Tool - to give you that deep clean that makes your skin feel super fresh. Wanna know more? Yeah, baby. Click that link in my bio.
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17. On set of #beingmaryjane like... ❤️😬💃🏾
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18. #carouselofhope@yvetteshelton100@makeupbylatrice @thestacetheface@marialuciahohan24
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19. I refuse to let a little cold stop me from my daily routines to greatness. #onlythestrongsurvive #warriors
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20. Big things begin with big THINKING... #BusinessEthics #SetLife 🎥
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21. Goodnight - here's a song
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22. Words can't explain the feeling that I have right now.....God is good. look momma I made it. #Harts #Blessed #WhatNow #comedicrockstarshit #4DaysAway
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23. I tried to get a better video with out the nasty bib but she started getting mad at me..lol! Big cuz @the_queen_caitlin trying to show her what to do. #MamasToots #HeirBear👑💜
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24. Gorgeous Serena joined Beyoncé in Formation last night on stage in New Jersey!!!
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25. 😜 @lifeofdesiigner & @rockohill
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